• Monthly
  • $25
  • $50
  • $100
  • $other
  • use PayPal

ONE WEEK TO DOUBLE YOUR DONATION!

A generous CounterPuncher has offered a $25,000 matching grant. So for this week only, whatever you can donate will be doubled up to $25,000! If you have the means, please donate! If you already have done so, thank you for your support. All contributions are tax-deductible.
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail

Sleeper Cells in South Dakota?

Attention Homeland Security: The Taliban may have sleeper cells in South Dakota!

What else could explain our neighboring state’s fanatical move to ban abortion in virtually all circumstances? The mullahs in South Dakota don’t want women to have control over their own bodies or the right to choose, even in cases of rape and incest. Under the new law, doctors who perform these procedures will face a $5,000 fine and five years in prison.

Yes, let’s all go back to the dark days and put women back in their place. Ban birth control and make motherhood mandatory. Shut down those domestic violence shelters and allow men to beat their wives in public again.

What’s next? Will South Dakota’s religious zealots require all females to wear burkas? I suppose burkas would help to ward off those pesky mosquitoes in the summer and prevent frostbite in the winter.

But seriously, I hope all Minnesotans will respond to this assault on women’s rights by boycotting South Dakota. Hit them where it hurts, in their tourism industry pocketbook.

If you’re a gambler, don’t bet in Deadwood. There are plenty of casinos right here in Minnesota that will take your hard-earned money. Try the Treasure Island resort & casino near Red Wing, featuring a large no-smoking area and scenic views of the Prairie Island nuclear power plant.

Forget Mount Rushmore ­ it’s over-rated and not as big as it looks in pictures. Steer clear of the Black Hills area, too. It’s just one big tacky tourist trap. If you want to see hills, visit beautiful southeastern Minnesota.

Cancel that exciting trip you planned to the Corn Palace in Mitchell. Pass by Wall Drug, the Reptile Gardens, and avoid Custer State Park. Do you really want to patronize a state park named after a guy who mercilessly butchered Native American men, women, and children?

If you’re a Harley rider, be sure to boycott the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. Instead tell all your biker buddies to converge at the Long Branch saloon in Worthington, which is only an hour’s drive east of the South Dakota border on I-90. Remember, South Dakota was the state that coddled former governor Bill Janklow after he recklessly sped through a stop sign and killed a Minnesota motorcyclist.

To really put the squeeze on South Dakota, why not cut up all those South Dakota-based credit cards that are ripping you off with 22 percent APRs? Check out the return address on your credit card bills and act accordingly. Then write out a check to Planned Parenthood with all the money you’ll be saving.

This battle is going to be a big one.

PAT WOLFF lives in Minnetonka, Minnesota. She can be reached at: paw952@gmail.com

 

More articles by:
bernie-the-sandernistas-cover-344x550
Weekend Edition
October 18, 2019
Friday - Sunday
Anthony DiMaggio
Trump as the “Anti-War” President: on Misinformation in American Political Discourse
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Where’s the Beef With Billionaires?
Rob Urie
Capitalism and the Violence of Environmental Decline
Paul Street
Bernie in the Deep Shit: Dismal Dem Debate Reflections
Andrew Levine
What’s So Awful About Foreign Interference?
T.J. Coles
Boris Johnson’s Brexit “Betrayal”: Elect a Clown, Expect a Pie in Your Face
Joseph Natoli
Trump on the March
Ashley Smith
Stop the Normalization of Concentration Camps
Pete Dolack
The Fight to Overturn the Latest Corporate Coup at Pacifica Has Only Begun
Jeremy Kuzmarov
Russophobia at Democratic Party Debate
Daniel Beaumont
Pressing Done Here: Syria, Iraq and “Informed Discussion”
Daniel Warner
Greta the Disturber
M. G. Piety
“Grim Positivism” vs. Truthiness in Biography
John Kendall Hawkins
Journey to the Unknown Interior of (You)
Christopher Fons – Conor McMullen
The Centrism of Elizabeth Warren
Rebecca Gordon
Extorting Ukraine is Bad Enough But Trump Has Done Much Worse
Kathleen Wallace
Trump Can’t Survive Where the Bats and Moonlight Laugh
Clark T. Scott
Cross-eyed, Fanged and Horned
Eileen Appelbaum
The PR Campaign to Hide the Real Cause of those Sky-High Surprise Medical Bills
Olivia Alperstein
Nuclear Weapons are an Existential Threat
Jonah Raskin
Here’s Hoping
Colin Todhunter
Asia-Pacific Trade Deal: Trading Away Indian Agriculture?
Sarah Anderson
Where is “Line Worker Barbie”?
Brian Cloughley
Yearning to Breathe Free
Jill Richardson
Why are LGBTQ Rights Even a Debate?
Jesse Jackson
What I Learn While Having Lunch at Cook County Jail
Kathy Kelly
Death, Misery and Bloodshed in Yemen
Maximilian Werner
Leadership Lacking for Wolf Protection
Arshad Khan
The Turkish Gambit
Kollibri terre Sonnenblume
Rare Wildflower vs. Mining Company
Dianne Woodward
Race Against Time (and For Palestinians)
Norman Ball
Wall Street Sees the Light of Domestic Reindustrialization
Ramzy Baroud
The Last Lifeline: The Real Reason Behind Abbas’ Call for Elections
Binoy Kampmark
African Swine Fever Does Its Worst
Nicky Reid
Screwing Over the Kurds: An All-American Pastime
Louis Proyect
“Our Boys”: a Brutally Honest Film About the Consequences of the Occupation
Cesar Chelala
Donald Trump vs. William Shakespeare
Susan Block
How “Hustlers” Hustles Us
Ron Jacobs
Calling the Kettle White: Ishmael Reed Unbound
Stephen Cooper
Scientist vs. Cooper: The Interview, Round 3 
Susan Block
How “Hustlers” Hustles Us
Charles R. Larson
Review: Elif Shafak’s “10 Minutes 38 Seconds in This Strange World”
October 17, 2019
Steve Early
The Irishman Cometh: Teamster History Hits the Big Screen (Again)
Jonathan Cook
Israel Prepares to Turn Bedouin Citizens into Refugees in Their Own Country
Stan Cox
Healing the Rift Between Political Reality and Ecological Reality
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail