It’s a No Brainer; Send Graner

A rap for our time. (“rap” as in, “take the . . . “)

Lyric: Fairly Traditional
Music: Probably Unnecessary

You need a man
To take command
Of these dune coons?

Who knows the ropes,
Who’ll teach the dopes
To dance to our tunes?

You want a man
Who’ll put ’em through the strainer?
Send Graner.

How do you break
A punk
Not afraid of dying?

How do you break
His pride
And leave him crying?

I say again
That nothing
Could be plainer:
Send Graner.

When it’s not enough
To beat them
With the rod,

What you do
Is make them trample
On their God.

Who can do it?
That’s a
Send Graner.

You need a man
Whose mind’s
An open sewer.

Our Graner
Is a specialist
For sure.

The Gestapo
Could have used him
As a trainer.
Send Graner.

But now
The secret’s out;
We got to kick ass.

We need a sap
To take the rap
From off the top brass

And who’s the sap
We’re gonna zap?
A no-brainer.
Stick Graner.

DOUGLAS LUMMIS is a political scientist living in Okinawa and the author of Radical Democracy. Lummis can be reached at: