“What will your God be doing on June 11?” I asked George Bush.
“We will be closing down the Vera Casey Parent-Child Center in Berkeley. And, of course, occupying Iraq.”
“But why?” I asked. “I thought you guys were pro-life.”
George looked at me like I was the veriest fool. “You are just not getting it, Jane.”
The Vera Casey Center offers excellent child care services to teen mothers who chose not to have abortions. It should be a pro-lifer’s dream! They should be funding it right and — gulp — left.
Instead, the Bush administration’s Scrooge-like grip on the educational purse strings of America is causing the center to close down on June 11.
George was kind enough to spell it out for me. “Ever since the Garden of Eden,” he said, “Mankind has sinned. Born into sin.”
“You pop out the womb? You’re a sinner!”
So as long as you don’t have an exit strategy, you’re okay?
“Congratulations. You’ve grasped the concept. Fetuses rule, real folks drool.”
So perpetual war, global warming, capital punishment, no Medicare, slave-labor economics and closing down the Vera Casey Center are all part of God’s plan?
“Exactly. You gotta cut the wheat from the chaff. Kill off all the sinners. No pain no gain.” And what, pray tell, will be the gain?
“The faster everyone dies off, the sooner I get into Heaven.”
Lord knows that America is now a nation committed to securing The Rapture (as well as the national treasury) for George Bush. No sacrifice is too great! “Bring it on.”
However, should you still be apostate enough (and treasonous enough) to believe that Good Works (not mass murder) will get you into Heaven, please send money to help save the Vera Casey Center — c/o the Berkeley Unified School District, 2134 Martin Luther King Way, Berkeley, CA 94704
For further research into The Rapture and what it means to us Americans, I highly recommend an article by Joe Bageant, entitled “The Covert Kingdom; Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Texas“.
JANE STILLWATER can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org