The Boobs & Body Parts Fairness Campaign

To the Members of the Federal Communications Commission:

I wholly agree that an inquiry into the carefully-rehearsed, staged exposure of Janet Jackson’s surgically-enhanced cleavage is of the highest priority for the FCC. In fact, the bluenoses at the Justice Department should impose a heightened alert setting–perhaps Code Red–over this catastrophe.

The horrifying principal evidence in this priority investigation should be played, replayed, and yes, replayed again on all networks for weeks to come, so that the public will know fully of this threat to our grave national insecurity over sex. I certainly wish the Federal Communications Commission well in its quest to finally cleanse our privatized, media-concentrated airwaves of every disgusting hint at the existence of warmth, intimacy and the nonviolent exchange of love between the genders.

But your efforts must go farther, and that’s why I’m writing. I’m making a plea on behalf of increased TV coverage for other parts of the body–specifically, the shredded, mangled, pulped, bloodied, detached limbs and heads of U.S. troops that continue to spew from the dozens of bloody bombings, mortar and rocket attacks in Iraq. These violent detachments and decapitations are never aired. Perhaps a concerted FCC effort toward the showing of fewer tits and more body bits would help address the FCC’s twin goals of affording the media-consuming American public more choices, even as it diverts their minds from acting upon their dirty-minded sexual proclivities.

And so, I’m demanding as urgent an investigation into the chronic absence of gaping, bloody, hamburgerized limbs and skulls from our TV screens, as has been undertaken into the presence of Janet Jackson’s boob on those same screens. To assist the FCC, I’m placing the full resources of my “Boobs and Body Parts Fairness Campaign” at your disposal so that we might get to the bottom (oops, apologies, no sexual innuendo intended) of this remarkable discrepancy.

Please help: a Red Alert may hang in the balance.

TERRY LODGE is a lawyer in Toledo, Ohio. He can be reached at: tjlodge50@yahoo.com


More articles by:
September 17, 2019
Mario Barrera
The Southern Strategy and Donald Trump
Robert Jensen
The Danger of Inspiration in a Time of Ecological Crisis
Dean Baker
Health Care: Premiums and Taxes
Dave Lindorff
Recalling the Hundreds of Thousands of Civilian Victims of America’s Endless ‘War on Terror’
Binoy Kampmark
Oiling for War: The Houthi Attack on Abqaiq
Susie Day
You Say You Want a Revolution: a Prison Letter to Yoko Ono
Rich Gibson
Seize Solidarity House
Laura Flanders
From Voice of America to NPR: New CEO Lansing’s Glass House
Don Fitz
What is Energy Denial?
Dan Bacher
Governor Newsom Says He Will Veto Bill Blocking Trump Rollback of Endangered Fish Species Protections
Thomas Knapp
Election 2020: Time to Stop Pretending and Start Over
W. Alejandro Sanchez
Inside the Syrian Peace Talks
Elliot Sperber
Mickey Mouse Networks
September 16, 2019
Sam Husseini
Biden Taking Iraq Lies to the Max
Paul Street
Joe Biden’s Answer to Slavery’s Legacy: Phonographs for the Poor
Paul Atwood
Why Mattis is No Hero
Jonathan Cook
Brexit Reveals Jeremy Corbyn to be the True Moderate
Jeff Mackler
Trump, Trade and China
Robert Hunziker
Fukushima’s Radioactive Water Crisis
Evaggelos Vallianatos
The Democrats and the Climate Crisis
Michael Doliner
Hot Stuff on the Afghan Peace Deal Snafu
Nyla Ali Khan
Spectacles of the Demolition of the Babri Masjid in Uttar Pradesh and the Revocation of the Autonomous Status of Kashmir
Stansfield Smith
Celebrating 50 Years of Venceremos Brigade solidarity with the Cuban Revolution
Tim Butterworth
Socialism Made America Great
Nick Licata
Profiles in Courage: the Tories Have It, the Republicans Don’t
Abel Prieto
Cubanness and Cuban Identity: the Importance of Fernando Ortiz
Robert Koehler
Altruists of the World Unite!
Mel Gurtov
Farewell, John Bolton
Weekend Edition
September 13, 2019
Friday - Sunday
Paul Street
The Age of Constitutional Coups
Rob Urie
Bernie Sanders and the Realignment of the American Left
Anthony DiMaggio
Teaching the “War on Terror”: Lessons for Contemporary Politics
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: They Are the Walrus
T.J. Coles
Jeremy Corbyn: Electoral “Chicken” or Political Mastermind?
Joseph Natoli
The Vox Populi
Sasan Fayazmanesh
The Pirates of Gibraltar
John Feffer
Hong Kong and the Future of China
David Rosen
The Likely End to Roe v. Wade?
Ishmael Reed
When You Mess With Creation Myths, the Knives Come Out
Michael Hudson
Break Up the Democratic Party?
Paul Tritschler
What If This is as Good as It Gets?
Jonah Raskin
Uncensored Tony Serra: Consummate Criminal Defense Lawyer
Ryan Gunderson
Here’s to the Last Philosophes, the Frankfurt School
Michael T. Klare
The Pompeo Doctrine: How to Seize the Arctic’s Resources, Now Accessible Due to Climate Change (Just Don’t Mention Those Words!)
Luke O'Neil
I Would Want To Drink Their Blood: God Will Punish Them
Louis Proyect
The Intellectual Development of Karl Marx