FacebookTwitterRedditEmail

The Boobs & Body Parts Fairness Campaign

To the Members of the Federal Communications Commission:

I wholly agree that an inquiry into the carefully-rehearsed, staged exposure of Janet Jackson’s surgically-enhanced cleavage is of the highest priority for the FCC. In fact, the bluenoses at the Justice Department should impose a heightened alert setting–perhaps Code Red–over this catastrophe.

The horrifying principal evidence in this priority investigation should be played, replayed, and yes, replayed again on all networks for weeks to come, so that the public will know fully of this threat to our grave national insecurity over sex. I certainly wish the Federal Communications Commission well in its quest to finally cleanse our privatized, media-concentrated airwaves of every disgusting hint at the existence of warmth, intimacy and the nonviolent exchange of love between the genders.

But your efforts must go farther, and that’s why I’m writing. I’m making a plea on behalf of increased TV coverage for other parts of the body–specifically, the shredded, mangled, pulped, bloodied, detached limbs and heads of U.S. troops that continue to spew from the dozens of bloody bombings, mortar and rocket attacks in Iraq. These violent detachments and decapitations are never aired. Perhaps a concerted FCC effort toward the showing of fewer tits and more body bits would help address the FCC’s twin goals of affording the media-consuming American public more choices, even as it diverts their minds from acting upon their dirty-minded sexual proclivities.

And so, I’m demanding as urgent an investigation into the chronic absence of gaping, bloody, hamburgerized limbs and skulls from our TV screens, as has been undertaken into the presence of Janet Jackson’s boob on those same screens. To assist the FCC, I’m placing the full resources of my “Boobs and Body Parts Fairness Campaign” at your disposal so that we might get to the bottom (oops, apologies, no sexual innuendo intended) of this remarkable discrepancy.

Please help: a Red Alert may hang in the balance.

TERRY LODGE is a lawyer in Toledo, Ohio. He can be reached at: tjlodge50@yahoo.com

 

More articles by:
bernie-the-sandernistas-cover-344x550
Weekend Edition
February 14, 2020
Friday - Sunday
Andrew Levine
Mayor Mike, Worse Than Mayor Pete
Bruce E. Levine
“Sublime Madness”: Anarchists, Psychiatric Survivors, Emma Goldman & Harriet Tubman
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Leader of the Pack
Jennifer Matsui
The Doomsday Cuckoo Clock
Paul Street
Things Said in Confidence to 4000 Close Friends This Week
Jonathan Cook
Even With Corbyn Gone, Antisemitism Threats Will Keep Destroying the UK Labour Party
Thomas Klikauer
Cambridge Analytica: a Salesgirl’s Report
Joseph Natoli
Vichy Democrats vs. the Master Voice
David Rosen
Sanders vs. the Establishment Democrats: McGovern All Over Again?
Louis Proyect
Marx, Lincoln and Project 1619
Robert Hunziker
Amazon Onslaught
Russell Mokhiber
NPR and the Escalating Attack on Single-Payer Health Care
Ramzy Baroud
Breaking with Washington: Arabs and Muslims Must Take a United Stance for Palestine
Mike Miller
Race and Class: Overcoming the Divides
Michael Brennan
Timeline: How the DNC Manipulated 2016 Presidential Race 
Jacob G. Hornberger
U. S. Lies and Deaths in Afghanistan
Rev. William Alberts
Trump Served Up Projection at the National Prayer Breakfast
Nick Pemberton
The Overwhelming Sex Appeal Of Bernie Sanders
David Swanson
Why This Election Is Different
Dan Bacher
Western States Petroleum Association Tops CA Lobbying Expenses with $8.8 Million Spent in 2019
Christopher Ketcham
The Medium Warps the Message Straight to Our Extinction
Erik Molvar
Trump’s Gutting of NEPA Will Cut the Public Out of Public Lands Decisions
William Kaufman
Tulsi Gabbard: A Political Postmortem
Colin Todhunter
Menace on the Menu in Post-EU Britain
Gregory Elich
Mnangagwa’s Neoliberal Assault on the Zimbabwean People
Ron Jacobs
The Lies of Industry and the Liars Who Sell Them
Binoy Kampmark
Subverting the Blacklist: Kirk Douglas’s Modest Contribution
Tom Engelhardt
The War in Questions: Making Sense of the Age of Carnage
Peter Certo
Who’s Afraid of Socialism?
Brett Wilkins
Dresden, February 1945
Missy Comley Beattie
You’re a Lying, Dog-Faced Pony Soldier
Thomas Knapp
Yes, the ERA Has Been Ratified
Medea Benjamin - Nicolas J. S. Davies
Can the World’s Second Superpower Rise From the Ashes of Twenty Years of War?
Manuel García, Jr.
A Short History of Humanity’s Future
Leonard C. Goodman
The Iowa Fallout and the Democrats’ Shadowy Plot to Stop Sanders
Nilofar Suhrawardy
Delhi Polls: A Storm Over Winner’s “Religious” Acts!
Saad Hafiz
The Unending Human Tragedy in Syria
Jacob Levich
Ocasio-Cortez to Constituents on Bolivian Coup: Drop Dead
Nicky Reid
The Buttigieg Delusion
Gary Leupp
Gramsci and You: an Open Letter to Mayor Pete
Kollibri terre Sonnenblume
Black America and the Presidents
John Kendall Hawkins
50th Anniversary of Abbie Hoffman’s Intro to STB
Susan Block
Rush Limbaugh Gets Medal for Being the King of Creeps
David Yearsley
Better in Dolby
Peter Harrison
Money is Our Assonance: Seven Short Poems
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail