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New White House Slogan

by DAVID LINDORFF

 

So President Bush considers the issue of his lying to the American people about Iraq’s possessing or trying to possess nuclear weapons to be “closed.” Now that CIA Director George Tenet has admitted he “should have” noticed this whopper and complained about its inclusion in Bush’s speech explaining his reason for attacking Iraq, the president says we can just stop bugging him about it. So what if Iraq is now a huge mess requiring the indefinite stationing of 145,000-150,000 or more soldiers for years to come at a cost of $4 billion a month. So what if over 200 GIs and thousands of Iraqis, including women and children, have died? So what if one or two U.S. soldiers are being killed and more wounded every day there?

Our president has “moved on.”

Some nit-picking Democrats are complaining that the president needs to come clean; that there should be an independent commission to investigate this whole thing. Nonsense! Do we want our Commander-in-Chief and his staff badgered for the rest of this term and through the 2004 election campaign by a bunch of Congressional investigators and would-be chief executives? Not me. I think the president’s attitude is salutary, and suggest that we all ought to adopt his stalwart approach to life’s little annoyances.

Think about it.

If you cheated on your spouse and now she or he is nagging you about it, tell her or him to stop complaining. You’ve “moved on.” The issue is closed.

Did you get one of those annoying notices from the IRS questioning your deduction for a non-existent home office or your claim of a child tax credit when you don’t have a kid? Send them a note telling them to get a life.

You’ve “moved on.” The issue is closed.

How about that fender-bender you caused when you were gabbing on your cell phone and didn’t notice that the light ahead had turned red. Now the schmuck who got his bumper dented and his taillight broken is harassing you about paying for it, after you convinced him to let you handle it without reporting the accident. Heck. It’s history. Tell they guy you’ve “moved on” next time he calls. The issue is closed.

Same thing for all those noisome bill collectors who keep calling you at dinner or bedtime, haranguing you to pay those old debts for appliances and furniture you bought on time. Tell them to take a hike. You’ve “moved on.”

Don’t take any more guff. The issue is closed.

As for that resume you padded. Okay, so you included a degree in history you never got and pumped up your GPA by a grade. Big deal. Now your boss is saying you should get the sack because you lied? Just tell the guy to stop complaining. You’ve “moved on.” The issue is closed.

Same thing for those 20 parking tickets you never paid. You say the court has issued a warrant? Just send it back with a note saying you’ve “moved on.” The issue is closed.

If anyone complains to you about your unwillingness to respond to all their annoying fussing and complaining, just tell them you’re pulling a Bush.

Okay, I’ll concede it may not be easy for everyone to just brush off their actions and decisions with a blythe comment and a wave of the hand. But we can learn from our president, who has had a lot of practice. He has, after all, already had to tell us he’s “moved on” regarding his going AWOL for the last year of his tour as a National Guardsman. He’s “moved on” about his college-age cocaine use, and his years of alchoholism. He’s moved on regarding the financial chicanery that enabled political backers to enrich him at the expense of ordinary citizens and investors. He’s moved on after every execution he approved as governor in Texas, whether or not there were questions raised about the condemned individuals’ guilt. He’s moved on about his becoming president despite having lost the election to Al Gore and about having had to rely on partisan Supreme Court judges to prevent an honest recount in Florida.

We should all take heart from this man’s remarkable ability to just move right on without troubling pangs of guilt or conscience.

So let’s all admit it. America would be a much nicer place if everyone would just stop getting so worked up about stuff. All that needless angst and anxiety over conflicts and disputes over silly issues like parking tickets or war. Everyone should just start telling each other to get over it. Move on. The issue is closed.

See how much smoother things are already? You’re sleeping better. You’re enjoying your meals more.

Just move on. The issue is closed.

Dave Lindorff is the author of Killing Time: an Investigation into the Death Row Case of Mumia Abu-Jamal. A collection of Lindorff’s stories can be found here: http://www.nwuphilly.org/dave.html

 

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Dave Lindorff is a founding member of ThisCantBeHappening!, an online newspaper collective, and is a contributor to Hopeless: Barack Obama and the Politics of Illusion (AK Press).

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