Well, GW finally has it, his own little country, completely stocked with oil wells that will make money–something he could never do down here in Texas.
There you have it, the only problem is that there are these pesky Iraqis who won’t go along with his plans, they keep protesting, asking for clean water, for electricity, for medicine, for security. It’s obvious they are ungrateful to GW, Rumsfeld and Tommy Franks for rescuing them, for liberating them. Beside, before these three musketeers rode in, these ungrateful wretches had clean water, food, medicine, law and order and security (even though they didn’t like the local sheriff); now, they have nothing–which shows how ungrateful they are. Those of us down in Texas, we don’t cotton to people not appreciating what we’ve done for them.
Well, I believe GW has made up his mind that he’s going to teach them to enjoy their liberation. He’s got a plan now to keep his troops there and maybe send in some new troops as well. Furthermore, the new sheriff he’s appointed has told those ungrateful people that whoever is seen with a gun will be shot. Now that will make everyone happy, because they can be shot with no trail. That will save a lot of money, time and discussion; damn lawyers, laws and other things just get in the way. As one fellow told me the other day, a lawyer from Washington, DC, it sounds as if they are going to give them a little bit of American justice–Ashcroft and Rumsfeld style. Just round them up or shoot them, forget the courts and the laws, because, just like in America where the Justice Department has made clear, laws and other legal matters just get in the way of enforcing justice. I know those Iraqis kind of wonder what’s going on because we can have guns here in Texas, because we’re the good guys, and they can’t have any there because we know they’re lying when they say they need the guns to protect themselves from bandits and thieves. Hell, we know that’s just another lie, another way to keep those guns. Put plain, they don’t deserve to have those guns because they can’t be trusted to obey the way they should when we tell them to sit down and shut up.
So, the Iraqis had better get used to it because GW intends to make those oil wells pay off and he isn’t going to leave until they do. He’s made clear to his dad that though he may have failed at owning a baseball team, finding oil in Texas, in being a student and in raising his daughters properly, he’s not going to let this plum fall through his hands.
He’s going to show his mom and dad that he can be just as successful as Jeb; remember, GWs dad said, “We always thought Jeb would be the one to become president.” I know that hurt GW to the core; it also upset Barbara Bush, because GW was always her favorite. Some say she didn’t talk to old man Bush for a few weeks; but as he told some f riends down at the fishing hole, didn’t matter none, he was used to it–in fact, he thought it was a relief because she was always telling him what to do when he was in the White House and afterwards as well.
So GW has his own little country over there in Iraq, he has all the oil he can use and can sell the rest for some good money. They just have to get those Iraqis under control and let them know that this is ours now, we own that country and any of them that don’t like it can pack their bags and leave. We have invested a lot of money to get this country, and damn if we’re going to let it go. It’s ours and there ain’t a thing the UN, or those French frogs or German sausage eaters can do about it–and don’t mention those Ruskies because they won’t dare interfere either. And those pesky Hezbollah and those Iranians had better stay out of this, otherwise GW will let them know who is boss–and I mean, BOSS.
So there you have it folks, a report from down here in Dallas on our boy, George.
I hope he doesn’t mind me calling him George, because when a fellow gets that big, some want to call him King or Your Excellency or some such name. By golly, that’s an idea, we’ll have to give that some thought. Because you know, no king in the history of the world has ever had the power George has had. I’d better be careful what I say, GW may not like it.
SAM HAMOD is an expert on world affairs, especially the Arab and Muslim worlds, former editor of THIRD WORLD NEWS (in Wash, DC), a former professor at Princeton University, former Director of The National Islamic Center of Washington, DC, an advisor to the US State Department and author of ISLAM IN THE WORLD TODAY. He is the editor of www.todaysalternativenews.com, and may be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org