FacebookTwitterRedditEmail

Tax Cuts and Job Creation

Despite criticism from Democrats and a number of influential opponents of his new tax cut plan, President Bush announced that a man was employed as a result of his 2001 tax cut of $1.35 trillion.

The discovery is expected to stem criticism that the wealthy were primarily the beneficiaries and the tax cut did nothing to create jobs.

“This will put a nail in the coffin of that class war thingie,” said the president. “This proves that tax cuts create jobs and if you pass my tax cut bill this year, and next year and the next year, pretty soon, there will be jobs. Of course, we also have to get rid of those pesky minimum wage problemations to put the righteous to work.”

Finding someone employed as a result of Bush’s 2001 $1.35 trillion tax cut came after a year long search involving the FBI, the CIA, and the Department of Homeland Security. Although 26,000 agents conducted the hunt, security officials brushed aside criticism that more important security problems were ignored. “We can’t locate 388,000 criminal aliens in this country, so this is good practice for us,” said Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge. “I promise if there are more out there, we’ll find them someday. This is not a waste of time.”

Security officials located Jesus Ramirez, a 33-year-old Mexican immigrant, who obtained his $2.95 an hour job as a gate guard after 100 homeowners at Trophy House Luxury Gated Community in Houston, Texas received refunds as a result of Bush’s 2001 tax cut.

“Our families were scraping by on $350,000 a year and couldn’t afford to pay for security,” said Jimmy Bookmaker, a Halliburton executive and president of the gated community association, whose motto is “Because we are better than you.” “With tax cuts of $18,000 each, we can finally afford someone to sit in our guard house and buzz in visitors. You can’t imagine the relief we feel.”

Touting the trickledown effect of Ramirez’s $180.00 take home pay from his 70-hour weekly paycheck, Treasury Secretary John Snowjob expects another job to turn up within weeks. This “snowball” effect will help the “soggy economy” and pretty soon all boats will be floating, Snowjob told Fox News on Sunday.

Despite Democratic descriptions of Bush’s newest tax cut as “hogwash,” Snowjob pointed proudly to Ramirez as an example of what it means to be truly American. “This proves beyond a reasonable doubt that tax relief creates jobs,” Snowjob said. “So what if government debt equals $70,000 per family? That’s only $6.4 trillion dollars. True Americans worry about security; they could care less about deficits and other boring stuff.”

The discovery of the stimulus effect from the 2001 tax cut was met with jubilation. In Texas, ultra-conservative Republican legislators voted to cut taxes and abolish pensions, medical care, public schools and other “evil” government programs.

The plan to distribute $20 billion to the states was praised by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg who looks forward to $3.8 billion in the 2003 tax cut bill to solve the city’s problems. “Getting the federal government to increase debt so we don’t have to raise taxes on our wealthy citizens is a grand idea,” said Bloomberg. “We can always cut services for the poor who don’t vote anyway.”

President Bush is pushing his tax cut plan by meeting with small business owners in Albuquerque, N.M., Omaha, Neb., and Indianapolis, Ind., who are planning on taking advantage of his tax deductions of $87,000 to purchase 6,000 pound, $102,000 SUVs. By making his appeal directly to those who will benefit from the tax breaks, Bush is exploring new ground.

Until now, administration efforts have been directed at making people believe that they will be better off with fewer public services and a massive invasion army. “Everybody in America wants to be rich and identifies with the rich,” said Ari Flyswatter, White House spokesman. “Naturally everyone wants rich people to keep more of their hard earned money so they can get richer.”

When asked about the $400 billion military budget, the $100 billion a year bill to occupy Iraq and the $300 billion deficit this year, Flyswatter invited newsmen back to the White House next month when President Bush expects to introduce two more people who obtained jobs from his 2001 tax cut package. The End

DON MONKERUD is an Aptos, California-based columnist and author who follows politics. monkerud@cruzio.com

 

More articles by:

Weekend Edition
March 22, 2019
Friday - Sunday
Henry Giroux
The Ghost of Fascism in the Post-Truth Era
Gabriel Rockhill
Spectacular Violence as a Weapon of War Against the Yellow Vests
H. Bruce Franklin
Trump vs. McCain: an American Horror Story
Paul Street
A Pox on the Houses of Trump and McCain, Huxleyan Media, and the Myth of “The Vietnam War”
Andrew Levine
Why Not Impeach?
Bruce E. Levine
Right-Wing Psychiatry, Love-Me Liberals and the Anti-Authoritarian Left
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Darn That (American) Dream
Charles Pierson
Rick Perry, the Saudis and a Dangerous Nuclear Deal
Moshe Adler
American Workers Should Want to Transfer Technology to China
David Rosen
Trafficking or Commercial Sex? What Recent Exposés Reveal
Nick Pemberton
The Real Parallels Between Donald Trump and George Orwell
Binoy Kampmark
Reading Manifestos: Restricting Brenton Tarrant’s The Great Replacement
Brian Cloughley
NATO’s Expensive Anniversaries
Ron Jacobs
Donald Cox: Tale of a Panther
Joseph Grosso
New York’s Hudson Yards: The Revanchist City Lives On
REZA FIYOUZAT
Is It Really So Shocking?
Bob Lord
There’s Plenty of Wealth to Go Around, But It Doesn’t
John W. Whitehead
The Growing Epidemic of Cops Shooting Family Dogs
Jeff Cohen
Let’s Not Restore or Mythologize Obama 
Christy Rodgers
Achieving Escape Velocity
Monika Zgustova
The Masculinity of the Future
Jessicah Pierre
The Real College Admissions Scandal
Peter Mayo
US Higher Education Influence Takes a Different Turn
Martha Rosenberg
New Study Confirms That Eggs are a Stroke in a Shell
Ted Rall
The Greatest Projects I Never Mad
George Wuerthner
Saving the Big Wild: Why Aren’t More Conservationists Supporting NREPA?
Norman Solomon
Reinventing Beto: How a GOP Accessory Became a Top Democratic Contender for President
Ralph Nader
Greedy Boeing’s Avoidable Design and Software Time Bombs
Tracey L. Rogers
White Supremacy is a Global Threat
Nyla Ali Khan
Intersectionalities of Gender and Politics in Indian-Administered Kashmir
Karen J. Greenberg
Citizenship in the Age of Trump: Death by a Thousand Cuts
Jill Richardson
Getting It Right on What Stuff Costs
Matthew Stevenson
Pacific Odyssey: Puddle Jumping in New Britain
Matt Johnson
The Rich Are No Smarter Than You
Julian Vigo
College Scams and the Ills of Capitalist-Driven Education
Brian Wakamo
It’s March Madness, Unionize the NCAA!
Beth Porter
Paper Receipts Could be the Next Plastic Straws
Christopher Brauchli
Eric the Heartbroken
Louis Proyect
Rebuilding a Revolutionary Left in the USA
Sarah Piepenburg
Small Businesses Like Mine Need Paid Family and Medical Leave
Robert Koehler
Putting Our Better Angels to Work
Peter A. Coclanis
The Gray Lady is Increasingly Tone-Deaf
David Yearsley
Bach-A-Doodle-Doo
Elliot Sperber
Aunt Anna’s Antenna
March 21, 2019
Daniel Warner
And Now Algeria
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail