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George Jumps the Shark

All they had to do was nothing. Just leave the whole military issue alone, George. Just declare victory in your ginned-up little turkey shoot and looting party and go back to shaking down your loyal corporate “donors”–you know, Mr. Cheney’s cronies who are going to harvest mega-bucks from those no-bid contracts to “re-build Iraq’s infra-structure.”

But noooooooo. The Republicans, God bless em, HAVE to overreach–it’s in their DNA. Trent Lott can’t just wish Strom Segregation-Forever Thurmond a happy birthday–he has to turn a photo op into a Klan rally. Rick Santorum can’t just cough up platitudes about “family values”–he’s got to demonize, criminalize and threaten the entire non-hetero, non-Republican population of America (and insult the Westminster Kennel Club in the bargain).

It’s not enough the Bush/Rove Thug Cabal and Gun Club owns the Supreme Court, the Presidency, the House, the Senate, AM radio, and Cable Television. It’s not enough they’re about to shove a tax package down our throats that is going to produce decades of billion dollar deficits, and destroy every constructive social program passed since Teddy Roosevelt was President.

Now the people who brought you the Ronald Reagan who single-handedly liberated Nazi Death Camps while making Army training films in Burbank want to sell you George W. Bush, the Right-Stuff, Top Gun, Roger Ramjet death-from-above sky jock. They want to smother America with a “counter-myth2″that will obliterate the unpleasant truth of Junior’s AWOL past.

C’mon, America! Could a guy who looks this spiffy in a flight suit have used his father’s political connections to get out of serving in the REAL military, during a war? Could a guy who looks this gung-ho giving the “thumbs up” to actual military personnel (of which he was never one) have spent the war “trembling in Texas” when others risked their lives in Vietnam? All Bush and Rove and their whole power-hungry junta had to do was nothing. Instead, they commandeered an aircraft carrier, had it turned around so Bush’s TV crews (yes, the Bushies were shooting their own footage) could get a better angle, and used the carrier (at American taxpayer expense) as a free prop for the first campaign ad for “Bush/Cheney 104–They Did Their Job, Even If You Lost Yours.” What they’ve done is given the Democrats–IF THEY’VE GOT THE GUTS–a dynamite visual for a scorched earth ad campaign that puts Bush’s non-service record back in play. I’ve taken the liberty of writing a television spot (yes, I used to do this for a living, and have 11 CLIOS to prove it.)

SPOT #1 — OPEN with black-and white slo-mo footage of Bush on the deck of the aircraft carrier, giving that fatuous “thumbs-up.”

Anncr–Lucky thing George was a passenger when he landed on that carrier. You see, George lost his flight status back in his National Guard days when he wouldn1t take a drug test. That was before he went AWOLS


ANNCR–That’s right, AWOL from his military duty in time of war. Seems to be a habit for George.


ANNCR–He’s AWOL in the fight for American jobs–his administration has lost over two million in four years, the most since the Hoover AdministrationS.


ANNCR–He’s AWOL in the search for Osama bin Laden. Said he’d get him dead or alive, but then guess he just lost interest.


ANNCR — just like he lost interest in investigating what really happened on 9-11. Starved the investigators of money, and then stonewalled them.


ANNCR–And he’s AWOL in the fight to demand integrity from American businesses. Of course, how can he slap handcuffs on the folks who paid to put him in the White House?


ANNCR–Bush has been grounded for 32 years, and AWOL for 30. Isn’t it about time America had a President interested in serving his country?


I hereby donate this ad copy, or any variation of it, to any candidate that has the guts to run it. Unlike the Willie Horton ad that Bush’s father used on Dukakis, this one is nothing but the truth. George is asking for it. He “jumped the shark” when he put on that zoom bag. So let’s give it to him.

RICH PROCTER can be reached at




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