A Family Values Man

I want to be a right wing
family values type of man
frequent all the porno and
smut shops that I can
Lecture the ghettos about
their promiscuity
While giving some hot babe
some hootchie coochie
I want to be a right wing
family values type of man

I want to be a right wing
family values type of man
preach that the drug laws
shouldn’t bend
But you’d find me in Georgetown
Snorting coke
Any weekend
I want to be a right wing
family values type of man

I want to be a right wing
family values type of man
Insist that low street crimes
be brought to the docket
While easing a little soft money
Into my expensive suit pocket
I want to be a right wing
family values type of man

I want to be a right wing
family values type of man
You’d see me in campaign ads
with my wife dog and child
But when partying with the
boys, I’d get a little wild
Have strippers and drag
queens coming out the ears
after doing more than a half-
dozen beers,
But tomorrow I’m in Congress
raising moral sand
Because I’d be a right wing
family values type of man

ISHMAEL REED is one of CounterPunch’s favorite writers. His novel Mumbo Jumbo is a comic masterpiece worthy of Twain himself. Reed lives in Oakland and edits the excellent online journal of politics and poetry Konch.

 

Ishmael Reed is the author of The Complete Muhammad Ali.