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Makes Me Sic (sic)

On Thursday, April 3, 2003, www.cnn.com offered a piece called: “Bush thanks Marines; vows ‘complete and final victory’.” However, someone at CNN must have send out an uNedited version of the article…there are typos everywhere. In addition, major chunks of Bush’s speech were omitted. Thus, in the interest of fair dissemination of corporate propaganda, I’ve added my parenthetical edits and corrections below.

CAMP LEJEUNE, North Carolina. Declaring “a vise (made of depleted uranium) is closing” around (the doomed citizens of) Baghdad, a confident (sic) President (sic) Bush Thursday told an enthusiastic (but rigged) audience of (brainwashed) Marines, corpsmen and their families that the days of Iraqi leader (sic) (longtime U.S. client) Saddam Hussein’s regime are numbered (but Bush wasn’t able to count that high).

“Having traveled hundreds of miles, we (sic) will now go the last 200 yards (sic),” Bush declared to the (handpicked) crowd of about 20,000 (Ted Nugent fans). “The (colonial) course is set (by Mr. Rumsfeld and Mr. Cheney). We’re (sic) on the advance (to get that oil). Our (sic) destination is (complete control of) Baghdad and we (sic) will accept nothing less than complete and final victory (for the corporations seeking access to valuable resources and cheap labor).”

The commander-in-chief (sic) (predictably) gave an optimistic assessment of progress (sic) in the war (sic) in Iraq, just two weeks old (unless you count 12 years of sanctions and bombings), but he also paid (inadequate) tribute to those (under-prepared and manipulated) members of the armed forces who have lost their lives (in the name of capitalism) and he warned that “there’s work ahead (for underage Iraqis in Nike sweatshops).”

This Marine Corps base has felt the cost of the war (sic) personally. At least 11 Marines from Camp Lejeune have been (uselessly) killed in the war (sic), and others are missing. The camp has (foolishly) deployed more than 17,500 Marines to Iraq and (for some reason) is poised to deploy several thousand more.

After having (an unhealthy) lunch (of charred animal flesh) with the Marines (who promised not to steal his milk money), Bush was (told to be) set to meet with about 20 people from five families who have lost loved ones in the war (sic). White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer (or his double) said the gathering would (appear to) be “tough” and “emotional” for the president (sic), but that Bush believes (he really is president so) it is (kinda) important and (sorta) part of his (so-called) duty as commander-in-chief (sic).

“No one who falls will be forgotten by this grateful nation (unless you come down with Gulf War Syndrome),” Bush said.

The president (sic), accompanied by first lady (sic) Laura Bush, was greeted heartily by the (brainwashed) Marines, who often interrupted his (stilted) speech with (predictable) cheers and applause.

“There’s no finer sight — no finer sight — than to see 12,000 United States Marines and corpsmen,” Bush said, pausing for effect (and giving time for the teleprompter to work) before delivering the next line (written by a speechwriter) — “unless you happen to be a member of the Iraqi Republican Guard (or an Iraqi citizen or, come to think it, just about anyone in the world).”

Bush’s (opportunistic) visit to Camp Lejeune marks his third (cynical) visit to a military installation since the (escalation of the) war (sic) began. Tuesday, he visited a Coast Guard facility in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (and got to wear a cool Coast Guard jacket), and last week he visited MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, Florida (in the state that manipulated his purported election).

The president (sic), who has steadfastly refuted (tens of millions of) critics (across the entire globe) who have (rightfully) questioned the Pentagon war plan (sic), (somehow) delivered an upbeat progress report (with a straight face), an assessment that comes as military leaders (sic) say U.S.-led troops are within 10 miles of (killing lots of civilians in) Baghdad.

“What (conquest) we (sic) have begun, we (sic) will finish (or Mr. Cheney will be very mad at me),” Bush declared. As he has before, Bush decried what he described as some (alleged) tactics of Iraqi forces, saying they would be treated as war criminals (unlike any Americans who commit atrocities).

“Some servants of the (American) regime have chosen to fill their final days with acts of cowardice and murder,” Bush said. “In combat, (we want you to believe that) Saddam’s thugs shield themselves with women and children (before our sanctions can kill them). They have killed Iraqi citizens who (are supposed to) welcome coalition (sic) troops. They force other Iraqis into battle by threatening to torture or kill their families (before our sanctions can kill them). (Here in America, we don’t even need a draft to find our cannon fodder! Now that is democracy!)”

At the White House, administration officials said (that with Bush out of town) a quiet confidence had taken hold there, with the president (sic) encouraged by the (alleged) progress U.S.-led forces have made in their (murderous) march toward (occupying) Baghdad.

The administration, the officials said, believe it has (effectively used the corporate media to give the illusion of having) successfully rebutted the (global outcry of) major criticisms of the U.S. war plan (sic) in Iraq (and is poised to roll right on into Syria and Iran…and those Turks better watch their asses, too).

Hmm, I wonder what CNN pays its freelance copy editors…

MICKEY Z. is the author of The Murdering of My Years: Artists and Activists Making Ends Meet and an editor at Wide Angle. He can be reached at: mzx2@earthlink.net.

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Hating Wolf Blitzer’s Voice

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Mickey Z. is the author of 12 books, most recently Occupy this Book: Mickey Z. on Activism. Until the laws are changed or the power runs out, he can be found on the Web here. Anyone wishing to support his activist efforts can do so by making a donation here. This piece first appeared at World Trust News.  

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