Click amount to donate direct to CounterPunch
  • $25
  • $50
  • $100
  • $500
  • $other
  • use PayPal
Spring Fund Drive: Keep CounterPunch Afloat
CounterPunch is a lifeboat of sanity in today’s turbulent political seas. Please make a tax-deductible donation and help us continue to fight Trump and his enablers on both sides of the aisle. Every dollar counts!
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Inside Rumsfeld’s War Diary

Dear Diary:

They’re on to us.

It all looked so easy when we drew it up: We’d talk tough, frighten those who might oppose us, get our war plans in high gear, and move before anybody could do anything about it.

And then that namby-pamby went and convinced the Prez that it would look better if we got the U.N. to authorize war, and, just as I predicted, we got stuck in that goddamn political spiderweb — “diplomacy” is just another word for gumming up the works.

Yeah, sure, Powell jumped back on board and stuck out his neck at the U.N. with his “smoking-gun” slide-show. But, sure enough, it happened again: Because Powell convinced everyone that we simply had to make our case — instead of us just making our war — we got bogged down again in the big muddy of what’s evidence and not-evidence.

If the Administration had just stuck to the way it was all laid out in the original Project for the New American Century papers, we’d have been in Baghdad months ago, Saddam would still be hanging by his thumbs in Tikrit, the undamaged oil fields would be in the hands of the U.S. military, and the rest of the world would have received the message: Don’t mess with us, get out of our way.

Now any tinpot dictator can get the U.N. involved, or NATO, or the EU or whatever other alphabet-soup bureaucracy is out there — and, if we fall into the trap, we’re hogtied in discussions and “diplomacy” forever. That’s why we’re cutting ourself off from that “old Europe” way of doing business, so that we can move and get things done that need doing. (I can’t wait until we pull our bases out of Germany and sock it to the Frenchies — those guys are going to pay, big time, for their traitorous behavior.)

Thankfully, the Prez is still on point, like a good bird dog. We’re going to Baghdad, whatever it costs, with or without the Brits, whatever the goddamn “consequences” the liberals keep yapping about. Unless we launch the war, nobody will ever take our bullying threats seriously. We’ll be seen as ordinary politicians who can be rolled, instead of extraordinary, frightening, militarist maniacs that you don’t want to rile.

The liberals and moderates seem to think there’s something wrong with being thought of this way. They don’t understand that our “arrogance” and “swagger” and “bullyboy” behavior is a key, conscious part of the inevitability momentum we’re trying to project

“But there’ll be chaos in the Middle East, terrorism all over the place,” and so on. They still haven’t caught on. We WANT chaos, we WANT terrorism — at least enough to grant us the openings we need to exercise our mighty force, to have folks frightened enough to let us do what we do best: Bring a sense of order and stability to the country, to the world, when things look like they’re getting out of hand.

Hell, nobody else can do it. We’re the only Superpower on the planet. And we’re going to make damn sure it stays that way. This is the New American Century, after all. Any other country or region starts to get too uppity — Europe, Iran, China, Japan, Russia, whoever — they’ll be slapped down. That’s the great thing about being considered bullies and half-mad: They might not like you but they sure as hell get out of your way and let you take what you want. They understand what “pre-emptive war” means and that we’re “crazy” enough to use our nukes on ’em.

So, in a few days — or, if we have to postpone a week while we try to save Blair’s behind by getting the U.N. Security Council on board (damn you, Powell!) — we’ll be on our way to becoming the masters of the Middle East, re-fashioning the whole region to our specs, with friendly democratic governments that we’ve helped install making sure that things are copasetic and that the oil and gas are flowing properly.

If we do it right, we may even get to engineer an Israeli/Palestinian peace, although by giving Sharon his head these past several years, it’s going to be difficult to bring everyone on board. But I like the guy: He showed those towel-heads who’s boss. No messing around; just bomb the crap out of them. N ow even Palestinian moderates know the jig is up, they’re going to have to make an Israeli peace at some point. Problem, of course, is that Arafat doesn’t control Hamas, but we’ll deal with them later. (And with that goofball in North Korea, too. What is THAT all about?)

I’m so tired of these pre-war press conferences, answering the same questions again and again. They used to love me for my sense of humor and honesty; now they think I’m slightly demented, wondering if I’m too old for this sort of thing. (And that Spanish premier, telling me to shut up and that he only wants Powell to visit Spain!) When we’ve taken full charge internationally, and — thanks to the new police powers we’re putting together — domestically, I’ve got a whole list of traitors and insulters and internet pinkos I want to round up for a quick trip to Gitmo.

Damn it, let’s get this war on. Anti-war activists and politicians are getting too much time to organize — all over the frickin’ world! There’s too much time for ordinary middle-class Americans to start asking questions about our evidence and what we’re really up to. They’re even starting to join the hippie peace marchers, and organizing non-violent resistance on the local level. (Note to Ashcroft: get your agents in the peace movement to foment some violence!)

Let’s just go, NOW! Patriotism, support the troops, rally around the flag and the President — all that will kick in once we start the shootin’ war, making it clear sailing for us and our programs. And, with the news being dominated by the war in Iraq 24/7, the Bush domestic agenda will whiz through Congress — including Patriot Act II — with nobody paying much attention. And our judges will ensure no problems for our policies for the next 40 years.

It’s finally about to be a New World Order, for real. God help me, I love being part of the war effort — establishing America’s “benevolent hegemony” around the globe. And I love being at the heart of the transformation of American society and the world to something less messy, something we can control. Let’s roll.

BERNARD WEINER, a poet and playwright, was the San Francisco Chronicle’s theater critic/editor for 16 years; a Ph.D. in government & international relations, he’s taught at various universities, and currently co-edits The Crisis Papers

 

More articles by:

BERNARD WEINER, Ph.D., is co-editor of The Crisis Papers, has taught at various universities, and was a writer/editor with the San Francisco Chronicle for nearly 20 years.

May 24, 2018
Jeff Warner – Victor Rothman
Why the Emerging Apartheid State in Israel-Palestine is Not Sustainable
Kenn Orphan
Life, the Sea and Big Oil
James Luchte
Europe Stares Into the Abys, Confronting the American Occupant in the Room
Richard Hardigan
Palestinians’ Great March of Return: What You Need to Know
Howard Lisnoff
So Far: Fascism Lite
Matthew Vernon Whalan
Norman Finkelstein on Bernie Sanders, Gaza, and the Mainstream Treatment
Daniel Warner
J’accuse All Baby Boomers
Alfred W. McCoy
Beyond Golden Shower Diplomacy
Jonah Raskin
Rachel Kushner, Foe of Prisons, and Her New Novel, “The Mars Room”
George Wuerthner
Myths About Wildfires, Logging and Forests
Binoy Kampmark
Tom Wolfe the Parajournalist
Dean Baker
The Marx Ratio: Not Clear Karl Would be Happy
May 23, 2018
Nick Pemberton
Maduro’s Win: A Bright Spot in Dark Times
Ben Debney
A Faustian Bargain with the Climate Crisis
Deepak Tripathi
A Bloody Hot Summer in Gaza: Parallels With Sharpeville, Soweto and Jallianwala Bagh
Josh White
Strange Recollections of Old Labour
Farhang Jahanpour
Pompeo’s Outrageous Speech on Iran
CJ Hopkins
The Simulation of Democracy
Lawrence Davidson
In Our Age of State Crimes
Dave Lindorff
The Trump White House is a Chaotic Clown Car Filled with Bozos Who Think They’re Brilliant
Russell Mokhiber
The Corporate Domination of West Virginia
Ty Salandy
The British Royal Wedding, Empire and Colonialism
Laura Flanders
Life or Death to the FCC?
Gary Leupp
Dawn of an Era of Mutual Indignation?
Katalina Khoury
The Notion of Patriarchal White Supremacy Vs. Womanhood
Nicole Rosmarino
The Grassroots Environmental Activist of the Year: Christine Canaly
Caoimhghin Ó Croidheáin
“Michael Inside:” The Prison System in Ireland 
May 22, 2018
Stanley L. Cohen
Broken Dreams and Lost Lives: Israel, Gaza and the Hamas Card
Kathy Kelly
Scourging Yemen
Andrew Levine
November’s “Revolution” Will Not Be Televised
Ted Rall
#MeToo is a Cultural Workaround to a Legal Failure
Gary Leupp
Question for Discussion: Is Russia an Adversary Nation?
Binoy Kampmark
Unsettling the Summits: John Bolton’s Libya Solution
Doug Johnson
As Andrea Horwath Surges, Undecided Voters Threaten to Upend Doug Ford’s Hopes in Canada’s Most Populated Province
Kenneth Surin
Malaysia’s Surprising Election Results
Dana Cook
Canada’s ‘Superwoman’: Margot Kidder
Dean Baker
The Trade Deficit With China: Up Sharply, for Those Who Care
John Feffer
Playing Trump for Peace How the Korean Peninsula Could Become a Bright Spot in a World Gone Mad
Peter Gelderloos
Decades in Prison for Protesting Trump?
Thomas Knapp
Yes, Virginia, There is a Deep State
Andrew Stewart
What the Providence Teachers’ Union Needs for a Win
Jimmy Centeno
Mexico’s First Presidential Debate: All against One
May 21, 2018
Ron Jacobs
Gina Haspell: She’s Certainly Qualified for the Job
Uri Avnery
The Day of Shame
Amitai Ben-Abba
Israel’s New Ideology of Genocide
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail