FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Indian Museum

“Welcome to Indian Museum, where all the villains of the past are preserved for your enlightenment,” said our Guide.

He was a tall, serious man with silver hair. He wore the somber blue uniform of Indian Museum.

“The Indians were fierce, alright. Real tough customers. But what force can withstand the righteous anger of the Nation?” said the Guide. “The Indians were vanquished so that the Nation might thrive.”

The tour Guide told the sad tale of the Indians, how they couldn’t adapt to the ways of the Nation and were eliminated for the good of all.

“But the Nation must preserve its past. So the Indians are kept for posterity in their climate controlled glass coffins.”

The Indians wear suits and dresses like ordinary Citizens. Infants were enfolded in their mothers’ arms. Like all the Indians, the children were lifelike, perfectly preserved. “Why do they do this?” asked a child on the Tour.

“Look around you. See how many Indians are on display,” the Guide smiled proudly. “The Indians of Indian Museum are the living lifeless. Gaze sternly upon them. Though they were vanquished long, long ago, they appear to have ‘gone to sleep’ just yesterday. There is the infamous Geronimo!” the Guide pointed to a glass case containing the corpse of a middle-aged man in a finely tailored suit. “There, the nefarious Crazy Horse! And Sitting Bull! And what would Indian Museum be without its beautiful Pocahontas?”

As the visitors gawked at the Indians and viewed video-taped reenactments of Indian battles, I approached the Guide.

“Welcome to Indian Museum, Mr.–” he paused to read my nametag. “-Engel. It is my pleasure to host such a hard-working citizen as yourself.”

I acknowledged the Guide’s professional flattery with a quick nod, then asked the question that had been burning in my mind.

“What is this place? These aren’t real Indians. They aren’t Indians at all.”

“Of course not,” says the Guide with equanimity. “Indian Museum is for the children. This is a place of education. The icons and metaphors we present to the children are far more…potent than some old headdresses and buckskins on wax statues.”

“Who are they?” I asked, pointing to a cluster of glass coffins.

“Terrorists for the most part. Bodies of derelicts unclaimed at the morgue. Executed prisoners. Though they were parasites in life, Indian Museum has given them a chance to contribute, in death, to the growth of the Nation. To become part of the culture which they, for whatever reasons, mistakenly eschewed.”

“Why are they dressed in modern clothes? Couldn’t you have at least put them in traditional garments?” I asked.

“The Indian of the tomahawk and tom-tom drum is irrelevant. Extinct. The modern Indian, the Indian that these children will experience in their lifetimes, is the Terrorist. Indian Museum has gone through great lengths to impress this reality upon the Nation’s young.”

The snack bar at Indian Museum offered Genuine Indian soft-drinks, sandwiches, hamburgers, fries, frozen yogurt and bottled water.

The concession stand sold Genuine Indian artifacts: pens, paper, wallets, Palm Pilots, lap-tops, pocket-books, house-keys, car keys, pipes, cigars, cigarettes etc. I bought a Genuine Indian rubber band and a box of Genuine Indian paper clips.

I returned to my tour group and fired the paper clips at our Guide as fast as I could break and load them. Guards came at me from all angles. Alarms sounded. The entrance and exits were sealed.

It was inevitable, once I shot off that first paper-clip, that my status at Indian Museum would change from “guest” to “resident.”

“I thought you were an Indian the minute I set eyes on you, Engel,” said the beet-faced, raging Guide, once the guards had me pinned. “I can spot you people a mile away.”

“Well, I must admit, I’m pretty handy with a make-shift bow and arrow,” I offered. “But honestly, I swear, ‘I will fight no more forever.'”

“We’ll put you on the second floor, third row, by the window. Next to Tonto,” said the Guide.

ADAM ENGEL will never leave Indian Museum. He can be reached in his glass coffin at asengel@attglobal.net

 

More articles by:

Adam Engel is editor of bluddlefilth.org. Submit your soul to bluddlefilth@yahoo.com. Human units, both foreign and domestic, are encouraged to send text, video, graphic, and audio art(ifacts), so long as they’re bluddlefilthy and from The Depths.

Weekend Edition
January 18, 2019
Friday - Sunday
Melvin Goodman
Star Wars Revisited: One More Nightmare From Trump
John Davis
“Weather Terrorism:” a National Emergency
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Sometimes an Establishment Hack is Just What You Need
Louisa Willcox
Sky Bears, Earth Bears: Finding and Losing True North
Robert Fisk
Bernie Sanders, Israel and the Middle East
Robert Fantina
Pompeo, the U.S. and Iran
David Rosen
The Biden Band-Aid: Will Democrats Contain the Insurgency?
Nick Pemberton
Human Trafficking Should Be Illegal
Steve Early - Suzanne Gordon
Did Donald Get The Memo? Trump’s VA Secretary Denounces ‘Veteran as Victim’ Stereotyping
Andrew Levine
The Tulsi Gabbard Factor
John W. Whitehead
The Danger Within: Border Patrol is Turning America into a Constitution-Free Zone
Dana E. Abizaid
Kafka’s Grave: a Pilgrimage in Prague
Rebecca Lee
Punishment Through Humiliation: Justice For Sexual Assault Survivors
Dahr Jamail
A Planet in Crisis: The Heat’s On Us
John Feffer
Trump Punts on Syria: The Forever War is Far From Over
Dave Lindorff
Shut Down the War Machine!
Mark Ashwill
The Metamorphosis of International Students Into Honorary US Nationalists: a View from Viet Nam
Ramzy Baroud
The Moral Travesty of Israel Seeking Arab, Iranian Money for its Alleged Nakba
Ron Jacobs
Allen Ginsberg Takes a Trip
Jake Johnston
Haiti by the Numbers
Binoy Kampmark
No-Confidence Survivor: Theresa May and Brexit
Victor Grossman
Red Flowers for Rosa and Karl
Cesar Chelala
President Donald Trump’s “Magical Realism”
Christopher Brauchli
An Education in Fraud
Paul Bentley
The Death Penalty for Canada’s Foreign Policy?
David Swanson
Top 10 Reasons Not to Love NATO
Louis Proyect
Breaking the Left’s Gay Taboo
Kani Xulam
A Saudi Teen and Freedom’s Shining Moment
Ralph Nader
Bar Barr or Regret this Dictatorial Attorney General
Jessicah Pierre
A Dream Deferred: MLK’s Dream of Economic Justice is Far From Reality
Edward J. Martin
Glossip v. Gross, the Eighth Amendment and the Torture Court of the United States
Chuck Collins
Shutdown Expands the Ranks of the “Underwater Nation”
Paul Edwards
War Whores
Alycee Lane
Trump’s Federal Government Shutdown and Unpaid Dishwashers
Martha Rosenberg
New Questions About Ritual Slaughter as Belgium Bans the Practice
Wim Laven
The Annual Whitewashing of Martin Luther King Jr.
Nicky Reid
Panarchy as Full Spectrum Intersectionality
Jill Richardson
Hollywood’s Fat Shaming is Getting Old
Nyla Ali Khan
A Woman’s Wide Sphere of Influence Within Folklore and Social Practices
Richard Klin
Dial Israel: Amos Oz, 1939-2018
Graham Peebles
A Global Battle of Values and Ideals
David Rovics
Of Triggers and Bullets
Elliot Sperber
Eddie Spaghetti’s Alphabet
January 17, 2019
Stan Cox
That Green Growth at the Heart of the Green New Deal? It’s Malignant
David Schultz
Trump vs the Constitution: Why He Cannot Invoke the Emergencies Act to Build a Wall
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail