STAR 2000

To date the Internet has been a mixed blessing for celebrities. On the one hand, this new channel has provided an enormous expansion in the amount of promotion available to them; fan sites, web-rings and dedicated discussion lists have created persistent gossip circles, providing the ability to create a perpetual buzz around the personality. On the other hand, these resources are, for the most part, beyond the control of the finely honed PR machines that hold, spin, and market the persona of the celebrity. Ultimately, this translates into a loss of control for the celebrity–loss of brand and loss of potential revenue. Golden Calf, THE official celebrity online portal, will prove to be the solution.

Through Golden Calf, celebrities will be able to control, protect and enhance their star power in a controlled environment within the wild-west culture of the Internet. Stars will be afforded the opportunity to focus on issues of concern to them, provide “official” information about themselves, while generating revenue and traffic through e-commerce, interactive content, community, sponsorship, subscription and promotional opportunities. In the end, Golden Calf offers the chance for a star to be a person, rather than a personality. Golden Calf will be THE place for the fan to “get closer to the celebrity”, putting control of their image and properties back in the hands of the stars.

Like the business model of Planet Hollywood, a select group of A-list stars will own an equity piece of Golden Calf and will be incentivized to make the portal a success. These charter members will be brought on board as equity partners, and will assist in the marketing efforts and development needed to pull other celebrities into the Golden Calf network. Golden Calf brand will be built on the “backs” of the celebrities, with virtually free marketing through PR and customer acquisition costs that are near zero. Golden Calf will be helmed by an executive management team comprised of proven manager, agent, and producer superstars, as well as several highly innovative and forward thinking Internet entrepreneurs. The combined power of the pure-play Internet business model, a-list stars and management team have already proven a winning formula for attracting investors.

Golden Calf will deploy cutting edge web technologies as well as a stable of proven producers, editors, designers and programmers. The celebrity can then take advantage of these resources to have highly interactive individual sites, that leverage the drawing power of their name and brand, with content that’s both compelling and fresh.

For the user, pulling these stars together in a constellation, provides them with one stop to find all the news and information on their favorite stars. An individual star’s fans will be able to share information with fans of other stars as well as take part in special events such as celebrity chats and e-mail games. The combined interest across fans and stars will be further leveraged with channels that contain specific and directed area of interest content.

As part of the Golden Calf 2000 win-an-hour-with-a-wax -dummy-of-your-favorite-star contest, powered by Golden Calf Inc., each Reader/Fan/Wannabe is licensed to fill in a CONCLUDING SENTENCE OR TWO REITERATING POWER. Submissions containing more than two sentences will be disqualified.

Adam Engel actually helped author this proposal for a power portal (now a ghost site) in the year 2000 (with the exception of the last paragraph, written yesterday). He is still paying for his sins. May god help us all. Celebrities and cultural icons with at least six weeks of Major Media saturation coverage may contact him at


Adam Engel is editor of Submit your soul to Human units, both foreign and domestic, are encouraged to send text, video, graphic, and audio art(ifacts), so long as they’re bluddlefilthy and from The Depths.