FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Everyone Says I Loathe You

I should have know better than to answer the phone this late on a Friday afternoon. It was my old friend and nemesis, Leon Despair, and he was as usual in no mood to be put on hold or to answer questions about how he got my new number. I get these calls from Leon once or twice a year and I know better than to hang up on him or tell him I’m busy. That will only bring him straight to my door.

He began by inquiring about my health: “Are you out of your mind? What’s come over you?”

I beg your pardon?

“Did you write this column in CounterPunch? It has your name on it.”

Which column would that be?

“This one. Ten Things You Know About Bush.”

Oh. That one.

“Ten things my foot! You don’t know one thing.”

What makes you say that? (What makes ME say THAT?)

And he’s off to the races. “Listen to this crap. ‘We like him,’ it says. What the hell does that mean? Who’s we?”

According to the polls, about 80% of the people like him. Haven’t you heard them talking on TV about how the guy has bonded with America?

“You sound like a damn dope addict. Somebody says something on TV and you go Oh, Wow! and start looking for a pencil. Is that how journalism works?”

Now wait a minute . . .

“You didn’t ask me if I like him. Go ahead, ask me. Here’s the answer — I don’t. Furthermore, I don’t know anybody that likes him. And neither do you.”

Uh, well, not exactly.

“Well, if I don’t know anybody that likes him, and you don’t know anybody that likes him, then who the hell DOES like him?”

Listen, Leon, nobody WE know likes him, but apparently everybody else does, ok?

“Nobody likes him. Name one person who likes him.”

Al Gore says George W. Bush is his commander-in-chief …

“That is so lame. Admit it: nobody likes him. Say it.”

Maybe nobody in particular likes him, but we as a people, in the aggregate, like him. Read the polls…

“Shut up when you’re talking to me, ok? Don’t make me come over there. In the State of the Union, did you hear him say LET’S MAKE THESE TAX CUTS PERMANENT?”

Yes.

“That meant, LET’S GIVE ANOTHER $254 MILLION TO ENRON. You know anybody who likes that idea?”

Not offhand.

“You think Ken Lay even likes him? You think Cheney likes him? You think Colin Powell likes him?”

Condoleeza Rice seems to like him …

“Let me remind you of 10 Things You DON’T Know about Bush, ok? You don’t know how much cocaine he did.”

I don’t know for a fact that he…

“You don’t know when was the last time he did it. You don’t know where he did it. You don’t know who he got it from. You don’t know who he did it with. You don’t know where he was when he was supposed to report for duty in Alabama, and his commanding officer says he never saw him.”

This is old stuff…

“You don’t know whether he ever did any of his roistering with Enron people. You don’t know what he knew about the Taliban leadership being in Sugar Land, Texas in 1997, while he was governor. Did he meet with them?”

I’ve raised that in my columns …

“And who’s behind all this fainting? Everytime you turn around, another one passes out.”

Leon, this is getting …

“Just remember one thing. Nobody liked him in Texas, either. And he defeated Ann Richards. And then even fewer people liked him and he won re-election in a landslide. So who do think the Democrats will put up against him in 2004?”

I don’t know. Probably Gore?

“No way. Nobody likes him.”

The line was dead. Leon was gone again. Not even a “till next time.” He’s that way.

David Vest is a regular writer for CounterPunch, a poet and piano-player for the Pacific Northwest’s hottest blues band, The Cannonballs.

He can be reached at: davidvest@springmail.com

Visit his website at http://www.mindspring.com/~dcqv

More articles by:

DAVID VEST writes the Rebel Angel column for CounterPunch. He and his band, The Willing Victims, have just released a scorching new CD, Serve Me Right to Shuffle. His essay on Tammy Wynette is featured in CounterPunch’s new collection on art, music and sex, Serpents in the Garden.

April 19, 2018
Ramzy Baroud
Media Cover-up: Shielding Israel is a Matter of Policy
Vijay Prashad
Undermining Brazilian Democracy: the Curious Saga of Lula
Steve Fraser
Class Dismissed: Class Conflict in Red State America
John W. Whitehead
Crimes of a Monster: Your Tax Dollars at Work
Kenn Orphan
Whistling Past the Graveyard
Karl Grossman - TJ Coles
Opening Pandora’s Box: Karl Grossman on Trump and the Weaponization of Space
Colin Todhunter
Behind Theresa May’s ‘Humanitarian Hysterics’: The Ideology of Empire and Conquest
Jesse Jackson
Syrian Strikes is One More step Toward a Lawless Presidency
Michael Welton
Confronting Militarism is Early Twentieth Century Canada: the Woman’s International League for Peace and Freedom
Alycee Lane
On David S. Buckel and Setting Ourselves on Fire
Jennifer Matsui
Our Overlords Reveal Their Top ‘To Do’s: Are YOU Next On Their Kill List?
George Ochenski
Jive Talkin’: On the Campaign Trail With Montana Republicans
Kary Love
Is It Time for A Nice, “Little” Nuclear War?
April 18, 2018
Alan Nasser
Could Student Loans Lead to Debt Prison? The Handwriting on the Wall
Susan Roberts
Uses for the Poor
Alvaro Huerta
I Am Not Your “Wetback”
Jonah Raskin
Napa County, California: the Clash of Oligarchy & Democracy
Robert Hunziker
America’s Dystopian Future
Geoffrey McDonald
“America First!” as Economic War
Jonathan Cook
Robert Fisk’s Douma Report Rips Away Excuses for Air Strike on Syria
Jeff Berg
WW III This Ain’t
Binoy Kampmark
Macron’s Syria Game
Linn Washington Jr.
Philadelphia’s Top Cop Defends Indefensible Prejudice in Starbucks Arrest Incident
Katie Fite
Chaos in Urban Canyons – Air Force Efforts to Carve a Civilian Population War Game Range across Southern Idaho
Robby Sherwin
Facebook: This Is Where I Leave You
April 17, 2018
Paul Street
Eight Takeaways on Boss Tweet’s Latest Syrian Missile Spasm
Robert Fisk
The Search for the Truth in Douma
Eric Mann
The Historic 1968 Struggle Against Columbia University
Roy Eidelson
The 1%’s Mind Games: Psychology Gone Bad
John Steppling
The Sleep of Civilization
Patrick Cockburn
Syria Bombing Reveals Weakness of Theresa May
Dave Lindorff
No Indication in the US That the Country is at War Again
W. T. Whitney
Colombia and Cuba:  a Tale of Two Countries
Dean Baker
Why Isn’t the Median Wage for Black Workers Rising?
Linn Washington Jr.
Philadelphia’s Top Cop Defends Indefensible Prejudice in Starbucks Arrest Incident
C. L. Cook
Man in the Glass
Kary Love
“The Mob Boss Orders a Hit and a Pardon”
Lawrence Wittner
Which Nations Are the Happiest―and Why
Dr. Hakim
Where on Earth is the Just Economy that Works for All, Including Afghan Children?
April 16, 2018
Dave Lindorff
President Trump’s War Crime is Worse than the One He Accuses Assad of
Ron Jacobs
War is Just F**kin’ Wrong
John Laforge
Nuclear Keeps on Polluting, Long After Shutdown
Norman Solomon
Missile Attack on Syria Is a Salute to “Russiagate” Enthusiasts, Whether They Like It or Not
Uri Avnery
Eyeless in Gaza   
Barbara Nimri Aziz
Iraq Then, Syria Now
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail