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CounterPunch
January
24, 2003
The Bush Balloon
is Wheezing
What a World,
What a World
by DAVID VEST
Dropping in the polls like a balloonist with a
slow leak, the Fulminator-in-Chief desperately tried to cover
the gaping hole with a MADE IN U.S.A. patch. Alas, the godless
liberal media found him out and exposed the MADE IN CHINA labels
his staff had tried vainly to conceal at a clumsily staged warehouse
"event" in St. Louis.
No problem, blame the staff. They were
"over-zealous." Wasn't that cute of them, heh-heh?
Other than the fact that it completely deflated the president's
economic message and exposed him as a lying fraud, what harm
did it do? (Was the air coming out, or were the wheels coming
off? You decide.)
Did hundreds of thousands of people take
to the streets to protest plans to invade Iraq, carrying home-made
"Who Would Jesus Bomb" signs? At least the protesters
made their own signs and didn't just tape over some old "Bomb
Iraq" placards.
No problem, the president didn't see
it on TV. Anyway, let them try demonstrating in Iraq, said Condi
Rice.
Did France and Germany dare to oppose
the will of the president?
No problem, send Colin Powell out to
say that the French position isn't "serious." Let others
leak the word that the "center" of NATO is shifting
away from France and Germany and "toward the east."
Let Rumsfeld label the two countries as "the old Europe."
That'll teach them. Hell, we'll attack them, too, if we have
to. They're worse than the Canadians, who got their knickers
all in a twist when our doped-up pilots bombed them.
"Exactly what IS the connection
between Iraq and al-Qaeda? Show me," demanded Republican
Sen. Kit Bond of Missouri in a heated meeting with White House
officials.
No problem, relax, have some Milk Duds.
Two-thirds of Americans now think Iraq brought down the World
Trade Towers, says one poll.
Still, with even senior Republican leaders
daring to take this tone with the White House, will the president
feel himself duty bound to correct that appalling belief in his
State of the Union address, so that his remarks might at least
have some slight reference to reality?
Nonsense, but no problem. The president's
remarks will be interrupted repeatedly by applause. Every effort
will be made to pump hot air back into the balloon.
Did the president, in the wake of the
Trent Lott debacle, actually appoint a former Bob Jones University
employee, who considers homosexuality to be a "deathstyle"
rather than a lifestyle, and who advocates "reparative therapy"
to "rescue" people from the "sin" of homosexuality
to his Presidential Commission on HIV and AIDS?
No problem! The appointee, Jerry Thacker,
has removed any phrases that might offend civilized human beings
from his web site (e.g., references to the "gay plague").
Did the president's man Thacker quickly
withdraw, anyway, when it developed that not only civilized human
beings but the Washington Post had noticed his appointment?
No problem. "The views that he holds
are far, far removed from what the president believes,"
explained Ari Fleischer, helpfully. "The president has a
total opposite view."
That's not a misquote. The president
has a total opposite view.
Of course he does. Repeat after me: the
president has nothing in common with the bigotry of Bob Jones
University, or Trent Lott or Jerry Thacker. Nor does he have
anything in common with the corporate crookery of Ken Lay. He
is the opposite of them. All of them.
Just because you have your picture taken
with somebody, or accept hundreds of thousands in contributions
from somebody, or go somewhere to make a speech, or appoint somebody
to your presidential commission, doesn't mean you ever heard
of them or have anything to do with them, anything whatever,
especially if they are perceived as "negative" when
you thought they were good Christian people.
Any attempt to suggest otherwise would
be a cheap shot, like making a big deal out of the fact that
the president picked the birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr.
to oppose Affirmative Action at the University of Michigan. Didn't
he hire Colin Powell (the great Liberal hope) and Condoleeza
Rice?
Once more, repeat after me: anything
you don't like, the president has a total opposite view.
Pay no attention to the man behind that
curtain.
But do ask yourself: how did the name
of Jerry Thacker ever come to the president's attention? What
Wicked Witch of the West Wing (or Warlock, more likely) recommended
him? And how did whoever "discovered" him ever come
to have influence in the White House? May whoever it was be standing
right under the balloon when it finally crumples to the ground.
David Vest
writes the Rebel Angel column for CounterPunch.
He can be reached at: davidvest@springmail.com
Visit his website at http://www.rebelangel.com
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