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CounterPunch
August
27, 2002
Wanted: "Our Kind of Guy" in Iraq
The Art of Installing
New Regimes and Choosing New Friends
by Jerre Skog
The USA has declared its wish and lately its intention
of replacing the regime of Iraq with more cooperative and docile
leaders. The Iraqi people may well want to see the back of Saddam
Hussein, who wasn't their choice to begin with but whose Baath-party
came to power thanks to "help" from CIA after moderate
leader Kassem was ousted. However, most Iraqis would prefer to
chose their leaders themselves and also have a strong aversion
against being slaughtered in the course of regime change. With
a bit of luck Saddam will suffer from a stroke before the attack
and allow a cooperative dictator to take over, thereby saving
at least 10.000 lives. If not, better send him a copy of "The
wit and wisdom" by George W. Bush. Those two pages should
at least put him, laughing hysterically, in a padded palace out
of circulation! Enough level-headed persons have given excellent
reasons for NOT launching an attack on Iraq to convince any normal
leader, so Bush Jr will naturally go ahead. So, since he is not
the one to put his own precious hide at risk, we can expect him
to start his regime-change crusade with Iraq. Operation "Selfrighteous
Warrior" or "Infinite Deception", here we go!
Next in line for regime-change is Palestine
whose elected chairman Arafat has the nerve to want a free and
sovereign nation without Israeli gunships and tanks all over
the place. A refusenik, obviously, who doesn't understand that
Israel has to have some targets to practice on, with all those
new killer machines from US. An arrogance that means his days
are numbered. Bush Jr is indignant and the world waits with bated
breath for what measures are to be taken to correct the democratic
correctness of electing him.
Those fellows taken care of, Iran's leaders
are in for some treatment. Never mind the fact that Iran's moderate
president Mohammed Khatami got 78,3% of the votes in fair elections
attended by nearly 70% of the people, (a feat that puts the latest
American president in his proper clowny perspective). Bush Jr
has so far not declared his intentions to visit Iran with his
B52s unless they kick out the legal president, but maybe the
Iranians know what's good for them. They have seen it all before
when elected Mossadeq was killed and replaced with the Shah.
Bush Jr has divulged his wishes. Isn't that enough?
North Korea has been notified of the
American displeasure with their leader. Since the people are
too starved to do much about the regime and the leaders prefer
to stay in power, it's a clear case of a country that needs help.
The people would prefer it in the form of some food. US may send
the B52s, since there seems to be an unlimited supply of those
"democracy-enforcers". Besides, US forces are, since
Vietnam, well aware that gooks are expendable.
Bush Jr has not, so far, openly published
his wishes for further regime-changes in the world, but several
independent observers are convinced that sooner or later Hugo
Chavez will have to go. The practice run some months ago proved
that it will be fairly easy, provided CIA can get their act together.
And Venezuela has OIL! China too needs more cooperative people
at the top, (preferrably white and christian), and if CIA can
tell one Chinese face from another we ought not to be surprised
if we learn that the party's 12 leading members strangely enough
were killed by hit and run lorries the same day. So far there
has been no indications of displeasure by the Europeans' behaviour
and if they go on being obedient there's no reason to correct
them. Independent Kingdom of Mosebacke, situated in the middle
of Stockholm, Sweden and declared by students in the 70s, might
be at risk if CIA can find it, though.
When Sweden's PM Olof Palme sharply critizised
US after the terrorbombings of Hanoi, using the words "satan's
murderers" and comparing the bombings with Lidice and Treblinka
and the US ambassador got pelted with rotten eggs in Stockholm,
many Swedes almost expected the US Navy to come charging over
the Atlantic, to replace our PM. When Palme was assassinated
and killed in '86 many actually believed that CIA was behind
it. Well, the killer is still not found, so anything's possible.
The present prime minister is VERY obedient so he can stay, we
guess!?
The US method of getting rid of elected
but unwanted persons have varied. From sending in the marines
to manipulating, bribing, blackmailing, threatening or putting
pressure in the form of a bullet through the head of the crazy
fellow who thought he could try do something good for the common
people in his land, are the most common. The replacements have
already from the beginning a good idea of where the limitations
go before upsetting the self-declared sheriff. Mobutu's replacement
Kabila Sr didn't quite get it, making Mrs Albright very upset,
and was promptly assassinated. Maybe Kabila Jr will know better.
If I may end on a more serious note in
the treatment of the subject and leave the satire and sarcasm
behind. Not easy to do as the role of selfproclaimed guardian,
who claims, or more correctly demands, to know what is right
for the world, is one that fits USA so badly that it is very
difficult to take it seriously. Something like Adolf Eichmann
lecturing on the sanctity of all life or Ariel Sharon explaining
his love for Palestinians. The idea of a president like Bush
Jr (in office after being elected by 24% of the people and manipulating
his way to power with help of of his Gov brother and the Supreme
Court) insisting that certain countries have to replace their
governments or he will do it for them, is so utterly absurd that
it's difficult to know whether to laugh or cry. One can, to make
it even funnier, note that the arguments that Georgie-boy uses
to motivate his war on Iraq, "He refuses to cooperate with
the U.N. / the World", probably applies better to Bush Jr
himself! Earlier presidents had at least themselves some legitimacy,
when they changed regimes all over, even if the eventual results
almost always were disastrous for the country meddled with.
The uncannily infallible consistency
by CIA and American leaders in replacing, often elected, leaders
with the worst possible new ones is impressing, but not very
encouraging for the world. In most cases USA's chosen favorites
have caused suffering and deprivation to an extent that they
might have been chosen for this capacity. USA's "Our kind
of Guy"s have either a record of robbing and destroying
their countries while taking scores of human lives or a strong
tendency to cause other countries grief. In some cases they have
turned and bitten the hand that fed them, as we could witness
on Sept 11th last year.
Just look at this list of notable "Our
kind of Guy"s installed, armed, funded or supported by US
in the last 50 years:
Mobutu Sese Seko, the 32 year long robber
and murderer of Zaire. General Suharto, the corrupt killer of
some hundred thousand Indonesians. the Shah, Iran's dictator
and favourite US weapons buyer. General Pinochet, responsible
for torture, killings and disapperances in Chile. Somoza, Nicaraguan
dictator. "He's a SoB but he's our SoB", according
to US. Marcos, Philippine's big extortionist. Saddam Hussein,
perfect "our kind of guy" for many years. Pol Pot,
even he had some help from US when he turned against the Vietnamese.
General Noriega, criminal, CIA-lapdog and US stooge until he
got too embarrassing. and, to make the list far from complete
but even more revealing: Usama bin Laden and the Talibans! Killers
and fanatics who turned on the master.
Any country with that kind of record
ought to speak awfully quiet about the need for regime change,
or better, shut up until effecting it at home!
Hamid Karzai, the friendly oil consultant
who recently was installed in Afghanistan, still has to declare
himself to the world. Not so much by his words, but his future
deeds. After recieving a lot of military hardware and personal
protection, compliments Pentagon and US Army, he might still
be obedient. Or he might turn nasty. Looking in the rearview
mirror and on some of his government friends' past bloody record,
we better not be too optimistic!
No doubt Saddam deserves to get kicked
out. He is a brutal dictator, addicted to his own power, and
Iraq deserves a better leader. I wouldn't shed many tears if
he was disposed of, but the Iraqi people has for enough years
been terrified and violated by wars, sanctions and repeated illegal
US/UK bombings. If mr Hussein goes to Bermuda for holiday, by
all means get him, but for the sake of the god that USA's leaders
pretend to believe in, leave the people in peace!
Stop messing with other nations' choice
of leaders Georgie boy! Without your help they have an even chance
of getting it right. With it, absolutely none whatsoever! (Just
look at US!!)
And please! Please!! PLEASE!!! Don't
give us any more of "Your Kind of Guy"s!
Jerre Skog
is a Swedish writer, musician and alternative observer living
in Germany since 1999. More articles, political and satirical
can be found on: Jerre´s Thinktank www.skog.de
Comments are welcome at: jerre@skog.de
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