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CounterPunch
August
30, 2002
"Eat All
of Your McAfrika Burger, Honey, Because I Have a Funny Feeling
There Might be Starving People Out There Somewhere"
by Carol Norris
McDonald's recently launched a new burger-in-a-pita
product in Norway: The "McAfrika."
And with this they have inadvertently
created a brilliantly succinct metaphor for the increasingly
blatant corporate takeover of the Earth - country by Mccountry,
continent by Mccontinent. I wonder if McDonald's, its arches
a great, snapping, golden maw, gobbling up one country's burger
market share while digesting a bit of another continent's culture,
created this product to honor the 12 million Africans doing their
best to stave off unspeakable famine, or to pay tribute to the
millions dying of AIDS, or perhaps to give a nod to the ever-growing
numbers left without clean, public drinking water. It's tough
to say.
And I thought Disney putting on an Electricland
Parade in California during last year's blackouts so that all
of us Blackouters, intermittently bereft of electricity, could
get a little glimpse of 20 foot tall, light-bulb covered bumblebees
was a gauche juxtaposition. At least McDonalds had the decency
to do it in Norway, away from all that unappetizing African suffering.
Disney did it right here in California. But, nobody said a word
about it as far as I can tell; unlike in Norway where some people
like the Norwegian Red Cross and Norwegian Church Aid have seen
the incongruity. These groups have confronted McDonald's and
met with its representatives to discuss the issue and the possibility
of sharing proceeds of its sales with the aid agencies helping
Africans. Nothing yet. Maybe you should go to McDonald's website
and email this suggestion to them.
Yes, yes, I know. See the cup half full.
The McAfrika could be hailed as a celebration of Africa and the
wonderful new possibilities it's rich culture can offer the ingredient-locked
hamburger. Africans should be happy and proud as they wait in
line for their daily emergency protein biscuit. Maybe they will
all be so full from the heaping dose of irony, they won't even
need it.
This is not an invective against McDonald's.
It just happens to be McDonald's. It could just as easily be
any other multinational corporation doing something similar.
The only thing I can figure is that maybe the people at McDonald's
don't know what is going on in Africa, just like the guy down
the street from me who herds those three pesky cigarette butts
off the sidewalk into the gutter for twenty-five minutes every
day with increasingly precious water spewed from his garden hose
doesn't know there is a huge drought going on in the Southwest,
not to mention the clean water crisis in developing countries
and soon, perhaps, the world. Or just like my neighbor who uses
a disposable bib on her kid and then cleans him up with disposable
baby wipes and then changes his disposable diapers while using
disposable mop covers to clean the mess on the floor and then
afterward washes her face and hands with disposable 'cleansing
cloths' says to me 'it's not like I'm throwing away plutonium,
for chrissakes.'
So, I was thinking: as long as we are
appropriating a little culture from large land masses, creating
yummy burgers for corporate gain, I'd like to offer a few burger
suggestions of my own:
McMexico Burger: Made in an American-owned
factory relocated to Mexico. Includes a yummy GMO corn tortilla
hand wrapped by Mexicans. Don't worry, no unions allowed! And,
you know what that means: lower labor standards and sub-living
wages. And that equals dirt-cheap prices for you! Get yours while
the burgers and the workers last! [Also affectionately known
by some as the McNAFTA Burger.]
McVenezuela Burger: Delicious. But, you
can only get it if you secretly abet the Venezuelan Rightist
in line with you and he is able to successfully oust the democratically
elected Shift Manager. [Limited to American government officials
only.]
McDeveloping Country Burger: Basic burger.
Comes with a $19, 6 oz. cup of newly privatized water. [Cup and
debt relief sold separately and only for those who have proof
of a World Bank/IMF-endorsed contract with a big water company.
No exceptions.] Some of the only uncontaminated water left in
the country!! Time limited offer. Offer while water supplies
last. Bribes welcome.
McEvil Axis Burger: [Also called the
McBrave New World Burger.] Includes an absolutely FREE Bonus
Ingredient: Valium. Yep, just another idea American military
chiefs here in the ole' US are reportedly thinking about to mellow
out the evil out there. Offer limited to large, hostile populations
and certified evildoers only. Yes, the McJust as Evil Country,
But Strategically Important and Therefore Our Friend Burger has
the exact same ingredients as the McEvil Axis Burger. Sorry,
but we've completely sold out.
McIraq Burger: Basically, just some flat
bread dripping in lots and lots and lots of oil. All the other
ingredients have been sanctioned. We know Westerners are just
dying to sink their teeth into this one. Remember, Iraq reserves
the right to refuse service to anyone.
McEngland Burger: Kinda bland. Special
orders? We'll take 'em, whatever you want. Just tell us what
you want! Your loyalty is important to us! [This offer is limited
to American power holders only.]
McUSA Burger: Offered only in the USofA.
We use pasteurized beef! [Okay, alright, irradiated beef. Po-TAY-to,
Po-TAH-to. Whatever.] If your budget is tight and you only make
$5.15 an hour, the federal minimum wage that congress has frozen
for a while now, phone your congressperson and ask him/her to
take you out to lunch. Because, unlike what they've done for
you, they just voted themselves their yearly pay raise. They
should all be pretty flush with cash. Soon to be made with 100%
unadvertised, genetically modified ingredients. Yum! Comes with
a side of beef-broth flavored vegetarian fries. Wrapped in a
disposable, non-biodegradable American flag. But, really, order
whatever you want, it's a free country; nobody's stopping you.
Only be very, very careful to order things that are with us,
not against us. Come to think of it, it doesn't really matter
what you order because with that new technology out of MIT that
can falsify images, we can film you on our cameras and with a
little digital alteration we can make it look exactly like you
ordered an Extra-Large Weapon of Mass Destruction and a side
of Anthrax.
Bon appetit!
McCarol McNorris is a freelance writer.
She can be contacted at partofthesolution@hotmail.com
Today's Features
Chris Floyd
The Secret
Sharers:
The CIA and the Murder of Frank Olson
New Print
Edition of CounterPunch Available Exclusively
to Subscribers:
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Anything to Get Harken and Halliburton
Out of the Headlines;
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McKinney: Jewish
Groups Target Blacks Brave Enough to Talk About Justice in the
Middle East; Intimidation
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"Insane" McKinney As Muslims' Pawn;
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Calling Scotland
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Famed Newport Folkfest Dissing of Electric Dylan Not True. The Catcalls were for Peter
Yarrow!
- New Shame from the Liffey
Shrike
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August 29,
2002
Chris Floyd
The Secret
Sharers:
The CIA and the Murder of Frank Olson
August 28,
2002
William Ring
War on Iraq:
The Brightest Scenario
August 27,
2002
Sam Bahour
The Violence
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Wenonah Hauter
From Johannesburg:
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Jerre Skog
Wanted:
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Uri Avnery
Letter
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Norman Madarasz
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Robert Fisk
War Crimes:
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Douglas Valentine
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Ceylon Mooney
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Jonathon
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Police
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Jeffrey St.
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Gilad Atzmon
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Alexander
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