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Fake Saddam Interview
Put Out By Israel Lobby Catspaw, Endorsed by Neo-Cons Pet Cassandra,
Now Wiping Egg From Face
By CounterPunch News
Service
A bizarre "interview" with
imprisoned former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein was circulated
yesterday by MEMRI TV, a non-profit in Washington DC that specializes
in translating and circulating mainly Arab-language materials,
selected to display the Arab world in a poor light, to the advantage
of Israel.
Releasing its translation of
the purported interview, supposedly conducted over the phone
to the imprisoned former dictator by Al-Fayhaa TV on on March
28, 2006, MEMRI TV trumpeted the news to its customers that
"Saddam Hussein issues a Calls to Cut Off Nose and Ears
of Former Iraqi VP 'Izzat Al-Duri and Declares: It Will Make
Me Happy if Iraq Turns Into Ashes, Iraq is Not Worth Two Bits
Without Saddam Hussein."
Saddam is allegedly reacting
to a taped message issued by his former vice president and loyalist
'Izzat Al-Duri, who addressed the Arab League summit in Sudan.
Saddam Hussein: "All 'Izzat
Al-Duri ever wanted was to address the Iraqis as their leader,
even if just for a few short minutes. Everybody remembers that
he once addressed the Iraqi Women's Union without my knowledge.
Do you know what I did to him?"
Interviewer: "We don't know. Tell us."
[...]
Saddam Hussein: "The first thing I did when they brought
him was to spit in his face."
Interviewer: "Why?"
Saddam Hussein: "I said to him: 'You despicable man, I
spit on your owl's face. How do you address these glorious women
without me knowing about it?'"
[...]
"The only one who makes
speeches in Iraq is the supreme leader - meaning me.
Interviewer: "You're in prison. How can you give speeches?"
Saddam Hussein: "That's a good question. You watch the
court sessions. How many sessions have there been so far? Fifteen
sessions?"
Interviewer: "Seventeen."
Saddam Hussein: "I give a speech at every single session."
[...]
"If I don't give speeches,
I get heartburn.
"I call to punish 'Izzat Al-Duri, because he burned my heart."
Interviewer: "Why, because he published a statement without
your permission?"
Saddam Hussein: "He gave a speech without me knowing it.
The punishment that I want for him is to cut off his tongue and
ears."
Interviewer: "Why cutting off his tongue and ears?"
Saddam Hussein: "To make him the same as all the renegades
whose tongues and ears I cut off. And if 'Izzat Al-Duri continues
giving speeches in sign language, like the deaf do, I demand
that his hands be cut off. And so on and so forth, until 'Izzat
Al-Duri is finished, and we get rid of this degenerate."
MEMRI TV circulated this as
"Special Dispatch No. 1127" to its customers and it
was instantly seized upon by Laurie Milroie, now somewhat fallen
in status, but once riding high as an "Iraq expert"
and a prominent propagandist for the US-led attack of 2003.
Milroie rushed out the "interview"
at 12.57 EST, March 28,to her e-mailed Iraq News, under the breathless
heading "Saddam Interview (Stunning), MEMRI TV".
Then, just over 5 hours later
came a second, crestfallen communiqué:
From: "Laurie Mylroie"
<sam11@erols.com>
Date: March 28, 2006 6:05:06 PM PST
To: "Laurie Mylroie" <sam11@erols.com>
Subject: Saddam Interview was Hoax
A knowledgeable US government
official has informed "Iraq News" that that remarkable
interview with Saddam Hussein, published by MEMRI TV, is almost
certainly a hoax.
Had the credulous Mylroie and
editors at MEMRI TV been familiar with the 1975 movie Monty
Python and the Holy Grail, they might have wondered about
such choice lines attributed to Saddam Hussein as "You despicable
man, I spit on your owl's face."
ARTHUR: If you will not show
us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
FRENCH GUARD:You don't frighten
us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly
person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and
all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
GALAHAD: What a strange person.
ARTHUR: Now look here, my good
man--
FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna
talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!
I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster
and your father smelt of elderberries!
GALAHAD: Is there someone else
up there we could talk to?
FRENCH GUARD: No. Now, go
away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
[sniff]
ARTHUR: Now, this is your
last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
FRENCH GUARD: (Fetchez la
vache.)
OTHER FRENCH GUARD: Quoi?
FRENCH GUARD: (Fetchez la
vache!)
[mooo]
ARTHUR: If you do not agree
to my commands, then I shall--
[twong]
[mooooooo]
Jesus Christ!
KNIGHTS: Christ!
[thud]
Ah! Ohh!...
ARTHUR: Right! Charge!
KNIGHTS: Charge!
[mayhem]
FRENCH GUARD: Hey, this one
is for your mother! There you go.
[mayhem]
FRENCH GUARD: And this one's
for your dad!
ARTHUR: Run away!
KNIGHTS: Run away!
FRENCH GUARD: Thppppt!
FRENCH GUARDS: [taunting]
LAUNCELOT: Fiends! I'll tear
them apart!
The portion of the Saddam interview
where the blustering ex-despot vows to chop off Mr al-Duri's
extremities is also strongly reminiscent of a scene in the Python
classic where Arthur swipes off the arms and legs of the Black
Knight.
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: I have no quarrel
with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall
die.
ARTHUR: I command you, as
King of the Britons, to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no
man.
ARTHUR: So be it!
ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT: Aaah!,
hiyaah!, etc.
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy
adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's
off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
ARTHUR: Well, what's that,
then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on, you
pansy!
[clang]
Huyah!
[clang]
Hiyaah!
[clang]
Aaaaaaaah!
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--
BLACK KNIGHT: Hah!
[kick]
Come on, then.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
[kick]
ARTHUR: Eh. You are indeed
brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough,
eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard.
You've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes, I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh
wound.
[kick]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken!
[kick]
Chickennn!
ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your
leg.
[kick]
Right!
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right. I'll
do you for that!
ARTHUR: You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come here!
ARTHUR: What are you going
to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
ARTHUR: You're a looney.
BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight
always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh? All right,
we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh. Oh, I see.
Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take
what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!
Lately Miyroie has been eagerly
promoting the supposed disclosures in documents recently released
by the US government of pre-2003 ties between Saddam Hussein,
Al Qaeda and Zarqawi. In flushes of battiness reminiscent of
Clare Sterling (the Mylroie of the Rfeagan years) she has
even accused the Bush administration of promoting a cover-up
in this regard. The documents have been greeted ecstatically
by the war lobby, even though there are documents which do not
encourage the scenario they espouse, such as one in which Iraqi
security, on hearing that Zarqawi is in Iraq, puts out an APB
bulletin to establish his whereabouts.
MEMRI TV has been heavily touted
by such promoters of the 2003 attack as former CIA chief R. James
Wolsey who said in 2004 that "MEMRI is the single most important
source for understanding what is happening in the Greater Middle
East." Another member of the War Party devouring MEMRI
TV is Charles Krauthammer who has said "For anyone interested
in what is really happening in the Middle East - what the Arab
world is saying to itself - MEMRI is utterly indispensable."
There are other intgriguing
precursors in the Pythons' movie, including one episode in Sir
Galahad's search for the Holy Grail:
GALAHAD: Open the door! Open
the door!
[pound pound pound]
In the name of King Arthur, open the door!
[creak]
[thump]
[creak]
[boom]
GIRLS: Hello!
ZOOT: Welcome, gentle Sir
Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax.
Now
Available
from CounterPunch Books!
The Case
Against Israel
By Michael Neumann
CounterPunch
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