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June 18, 2001
Hell Hath No Fury
Like A Dragon Scorned
Normally even tempered, a ten-foot komodo
dragon in the LA Zoo caused bouts of schadenfreude (German, meaning
malicious glee in the discomfiture of others) in every newsroom
in California over the weekend by savagely attacking Phil Bronstein's
big toe. This same Bronstein is the husband of Sharon Stone.
He also edits the Hearst-owned San Francisco Chronicle. Back
in 1993 when Bronstein was editing the San Francisco Examiner,
(then owned by the Hearsts before they switched papers) Bronstein
cost the Hearsts $600,000 in damages for breaking the ankle of
a political consultant called Clint Reilly. The two got into
a tussle in the office of Will Hearst and Bronstein, a macho
type, had the better of the engagement. Reilly sued and got his
$600,000.
Possibly the komodo dragon,
a species of Indonesian lizard, was aware of this episode when
Bronstein entered its cage in the company of a zookeeper, and
was intent  on evening up the
score. Or maybe it was angry because Sharon Stone stayed outside
the cage. It seems Stone was treating her husband to the intimate
session with the dragon as an early father's day gift.
Bronstein wasn't wearing any
shoes because the zookeeper said that the komodo is fed white
rats and the keeper feared it might mistake Bronstein's white
sneakers for its normal snack. Confronted with Bronstein's white,
bare and possibly unfragrant feet the komodo sank its razor sharp,
serrated teeth into the editor's big toe. Bronstein managed to
prize its jaws open, salvage his foot and make good his escape.
The komodo made a serious mess of Bronstein's foot and there
are fears that the dragon's dirty teeth may infect Bronstein;
but what about the effect of Bronstein's foot on the komodo?
Beyond this, there is the issue
of what the LA Zoo was doing, allowing a bigwig couple like Stone
and Bronstein have a private session du cote de chez komodo.
" We have a number of celebrities who want to go behind
the scenes and he had a fondness for these dragons, according
to his wife," zoo spokeswoman Lora LaMarca told Reuters
in the wake of the komodo's pododic escapade. But why should
the rare species have these "special visits" inflicted
on them? It may well be that after repeated visitations by Hollywood
stars, foreign dignitaries and the like, the komodo, confronted
by Bronstein's naked feet, decided to take a stand. CP
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