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CounterPunch
December
3, 2002
You're Ariel
Sharon and Life is Good
by WILLIAM HUGHES
You're Ariel Sharon, Israel's Prime Minister.
Your troops, on Nov. 23, 2002, shot to death a British subject,
Iain John Hook. He was the highly respected UN project manager
at Jenin, where your army had previously been accused of committing
war crimes against the Palestinians. Hook was inside the UN compound,
at Jenin, when the murder occurred. The Israeli killers said
Mr. Hook appeared to have "a gun" in his hand. It was
actually a cell phone! I'm sure it was just another of those
darn "Israeli mistakes," like the IDF's massacre at
Cana, Lebanon, on April 18, 1996; and, the IDF's murderous attack
on the USS Liberty on June 8, 1967. British P.M. Tony Blair will
surely understand. Anyway, isn't he George W. Bush Jr.'s lackey?
Meanwhile, you're Ariel Sharon! What's
a little "mistake" between friends?
You even had to smile to yourself, when
you issued your latest lame excuse for reoccupying Bethlehem,
one of the holiest sites in Christendom. Your storm troopers
closed the town down and even kept the Palestinian Christians
from attending Sunday Mass at the ancient Church of the Nativity.
No need to worry. Who really cares? Cardinal Edward M. Egan,
Archbishop of New York City, was too busy viewing the NFL's NY
Jets beating the Buffalo Bills, 31 to 13, to even notice. By
the way, is the IDF going to be in Bethlehem on Christmas Day,
too?
Things couldn't be better. You're Ariel
Sharon.
Those pesky Belgian state prosecutors
tried to indict you for the supposed heinous war crimes you perpetrated
at Sabra and Shatila. Lucky for you, an appellant court said,
it had no jurisdiction since you're not a resident of that country.
Be careful, don't let anybody offer you a free vacation to Belgium.
Remember what happened to Chile's General Augusto Pinochet on
his UK holiday. It could happen to you, too!
You're an international statesman. You're
Ariel Sharon.
In New York City, Mayor Michael Bloomberg
is endorsing a gargantuan property tax hike of 18 % for its residents.
Meanwhile, your accountants, Slick, Slash and Burn, are preparing
a $10 billion shakedown of the American taxpayers. It supposed
to be a loan guarantee, but we both know, Israel never repays
it loans to the dumb Yankee goyim. This $10 billion will be in
addition to the yearly $7 billion handout.
But, don't worry. You're Ariel Sharon.
Thanks to one of your favorite political
hack, Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman (D-CT), the U.S. now has a "Homeland
Security Agency," to watch over the "home of the brave."
And, to further curtail the possibility of any genuine dissent
in the "land of the free," two more of your senatorial
boy-ohs, Arlen Specter (R-PA) and Charles Schumer (D-NY), pushed
through, without a public hearing, the Bill-of-Rights'-shredding
"USA Patriot Act." The duo are the godfathers of this
scheme, which they seeded in the mid-90s. They are so clever
their fingerprints can't be found on the law.
You're feeling pretty safe now. Your
name is Ariel Sharon.
In fact, on Oct. 3, 2001, when you barked
at a Tel Aviv Cabinet meeting, according to Israel Radio, (Kol
Yisrael): "I want to tell you something very clear, don't
worry about America. We, the Jewish people, control America,
and the Americans know it." Well, you did go a little overboard
on that one. Even if you're right about the Jews controlling
America, I still think it was a real stretch to say, "the
Americans know it." I think if they did know it, you, and
the other bad Zionists, too, would be sent to your rooms, and
forbidden to watch the "Jerry Springer TV Show!"
You're smart. You're clever. You're Ariel
Sharon.
You were mouthing off to the Times of
London recently. And, darn if you didn't say, "The day after
U.S. troops finish off Saddam, they should turn their guns against
Tehran." Now, you almost blew the Zionist cover on that
one. Most Americans are clueless about your country's agenda
about using the U.S. military to destroy Israel's Arab enemies.
Chicken hawk Richard Perle didn't help either. He told members
of the UK Parliament (11/25/02, Daily Mirror), the U.S. would
attack Iraq, even if UN inspectors failed to find any weapons.
Making President George W. Bush Jr. look like a dupe for Tel
Aviv isn't good for business Ariel.
Ariel Sharon is the man. Right and wrong
are just words.
When you hold your press conferences
in Tel Aviv, you tend to sit at your desk, behind a huge photo
of your political guru, the late Vladimir Jabotinsky, an extreme
right-winger, even by Likud's low political standards. Now, this
isn't too smart. The press might find out that he advocated the
ethnic cleansing of Palestinians from their own land. Some folks,
too, think you will use a U.S.-led Gulf War II, as a cover to
forcibly transfer all of the Palestinians to Jordan. Now, just
cool it! Okay! Simply remove the Jabotinsky's portrait and replace
it with Jonathan Pollard's!
Hey, time marches on. Ariel Sharon keeps
ticking away.
Finally, last week, as your intentionally
provocative colonial occupation policies continued to fuel a
horrific cycle of violence, you railed, that you will "cut
the hand off" anyone that strikes Israel. That's a bloody
kind of metaphor and it doesn't help your reputation. Talking
about hands, we met, in Dec., 1977. I even shook your hand. It
was at a farewell banquet for Baltimoreans visiting the Holy
Land, which was held in Tel Aviv. Since that time, I've noticed
that I'm always washing my hand, like it has blood or some foreign
substance on it. Does the Arab village of Qibya, in 1953, and
Unit 101, bring back any memories for you? Oh heck, why spoil
the party? Everything is always coming up roses for you.
You're Ariel Sharon, and life is good.
William Hughes
is the author of "Baltimore Iconoclast" (Writer's Showcase),
which is available online. He can be reached at liamhughes@mindspring.com.
© William Hughes 2002
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