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Recent Stories

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May 14, 2003

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May 13, 2003

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May 10 / 11, 2003

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May 9, 2003

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The Karamazov Question

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The Great Christian Schism: War or Peace?

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May 8, 2003

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May 7, 2003

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May 6, 2003

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W. Bush: the Little Snot, the Little Bully

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May 5, 2003

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May 2, 2003

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May 1, 2003

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May 17, 2003

Uncle Sam is YOU

A Field Guide to Boobus Americanus

By ADAM ENGEL

Bloated and paranoid addicts of sugar, salt, lard, beer, nicotine, aspartame and MSG-- Oh, Boobus Americanus, carnivorous sheep, slaughtering and led to slaughter--Uncle Sam is YOU!

Fighting fighting fighting. Against whom? Has any "foreign enemy" ever tried to mess with my freedoms? Any man, woman, or child from the Mid-East (or France) ever once caused me grief and aggravation by obliterating people, forests, cities in my name while simultaneously snooping on me, stripping me of my "cherished freedoms" all on my dumb tax-payer dime? No way. Never ever. It's YOU, Jackson. It's always been YOU. THE MAN says jump and YOU jump. THE MAN says "Wreck the joint" and YOU start smashing everything in sight, and leave me holding the bag.

I can't, I won't even blame "America," for what is a nation but a fiction, a set of laws agreed upon by it's people, in a real democracy, or enforced by it's elite, as in whatever we have now? America might not be such a bad place if YOU had stood up to the MAN instead of running to fight every war HE gets himself into, waving HIS symbols, hating HIS enemies even if formerly they were HIS friends, even if his enemy is YOU. That's the deal isn't it? YOU'LL do anything HE says, so long as the enemy isn't YOU.

And why? Cause it's "YOUR" country? It is not YOUR country, it hasn't been for years (if it ever was), and YOU know it. Even so. If a band of thieves broke into YOUR house and wrecked the place and abused YOUR children would YOU excuse them because they did it all in "YOUR" home? When they decide to do the same thing to some poor family two blocks away, a family YOU'VE never met, a family YOU have nothing to do with, will YOU go along with them on their terror-fest because the idea was hatched in "YOUR" home? Do I have to push the analogy further or do YOU get the point? I know YOU'RE not big on subtlety, but this seems pretty cut and dry.

YOU are an ignorant, violent, boorish people addicted to bad food and overpriced drugs. I know, I know: it's the Media, the Corporations, the Government, the evil gnomes from outer space. Well, maybe if YOU hadn't been so dazed and confused we wouldn't be in this mess. What kind of power would a first rate third-rate moron like Dubya possibly have over a free and informed populace, which would demand the truth from ALL media sources and probably wouldn't care to buy ninety percent of the junk the "all-powerful" Corporations sell daily by the Garbage Bag-full? Such a people would never buy the idea that a legal fiction had the "rights" of an individual person (whoever thought that one up deserves to be dictator, as opposed to Il Dufus who merely stumbled into the job).

Don't gimme that crap YOU don't know about the thousands slaughtered for no damn good reason in Afghanistan, Iraq, Palestine just cause YOU didn't see the corpses in the New York Times or YOUR local gazette. YOU saw the photos of cruise missiles smashing into cities. Think Uncle Sam's gonna waste millions in hardware to smoke empty buildings?

"We" did it all for the thousands killed in the WTC. Oh really? Then why aren't "we" clamoring for an investigation into just who did all that killing. I grew up with someone who died there, as did my wife. And I smelled the burning from my west side apartment. YOU didn't. Yet YOU wave yer little flags like when teacher told YOU to in the fifth grade about how grand it all was. Send teenagers who should be living life and studying it instead of destroying it thousands of miles away to kill other teenagers and teenagers' children just so YOU can feel safe in your twice mortgaged shit-box of a house, so you can march off to your corporate cubicle, if you have one?

That "it's not the American peoples' fault, it's their government" line wore thin years ago. Isn't this supposed to be a government "of the people, by the people and for the people?" Then how do we point the finger at the government if the government is us? Of course, it's not us, not even remotely so, but that doesn't excuse YOU for pretending that it is. There's the "evil," as Dubya, who wrenched that term back from the 19th century, might say. Pretending that "we" are all in this together. "United We Stand." Isn't that what the corporate sponsored billboards and banners say?

So, what to do.

Nothing. Shut yer yap, if YOU know what's good for ya. Eat yer Beef-a-Roni. Suck yer Bud. Chew yer corporate cud, crud, crude, cruel, crucifixion of the real. What's on TV? I hear they're making last week into a movie. Or was it next week, or the week before? Well anyhow, one of these weeks is going to be coming to a theater near YOU. Then on video. They signed Today and Tomorrow to play the leads. Yesterday's in it too, but YOU know how it is in show biz once you're 24 hours old. The roles stop comin. Gotta get what you can. Supporting character's not bad. As Boris Karloff once said, "A Yesterday is a working Day." Something like that. Remember Boris? The guy whose make-up informed YOUR nightmare visions of Frankenstein's monster (that's Mr. Frankenstein, to YOU, Jackson). Speaking of Frankenstein...oh, never mind.

Peek-a-boo. I see YOU. Eating snacks before the telly. Man on the screen says

"We like you."

Astounded, mouth full of chewy goodness, YOU gurgle,

"You like ...me?"

"We love you. Very much."

"Love. Loooovvvvve. Love ME?"

"We've always loved you."

"Love. Gooooooooood. Love good."

"But there are people who want to hurt us."

"Hurt...you?"

"If they hurt us, who will love you?"

"Love. Good. No hurt. No hurt you!"

"You wouldn't want bad people to hurt us, would you?"

"Bad. Bad. No hurt. Love."

"You'll protect us, won't you?"

"Me. Protect. You. You me protect. No hurt love. Kill. Kill. KILL!"

And so on. YOU'VE been through it all before, I'm sure. And it's a good thing, a noble thing, that YOU want to protect the guys on TV who appear to love YOU, beasts that YOU are. But let's be clear. What do I get outta this? I'm not the guys on TV. In fact, I hate the guys on TV. It's not me they claim to love, but YOU. And to be honest, I'm not alone. There are almost six billion of us, and we hate those guys on TV.

So, it comes down to this. It's us against YOU, whoever YOU are, and the Guys on TV. I refuse to take any blame for all this. I've been fighting YOU since Reagan. True, I should have done more to protest the First Gulf Massacre, but it was such a tidal wave of YOU, YOU everywhere waving yer little flags. And it seemed to be over pretty quick-- until the sanctions.

YOU are a danger to myself and others. Think about it. Think THE MAN would have any power whatsoever without YOU? Who's he gonna get to do HIS dirty work, me? But with YOU and your unquestioning obedience HE's got Auschwitz, the Gulag, Hiroshima, Vietnam, Iraq and all sorts of global chess games-- and guess who's the pawn? I mean, YOU put Hitler into power. True, YOU and your kids ended up cannon fodder ten years later and had your cities bombed, but I ended up in concentration camps (and I'm not just talking about Jews and Gypsies, but Communists, Anarchists, Conscientious objectors, clergymen, intellectuals, dissidents, in short all the folks who are what YOU are not: free.)

I guess, ultimately, it's YOUR cowardice that gets me the most. I don't honestly believe YOU'RE stupid-- willfully ignorant, yes, but not stupid. YOU'LL just do anything, ANYTHING to anyone to save your pasty skin. Be honest: YOU'RE terrified; hence, the "war on terror." YOU hope maybe THE MAN will make fear go away? The fear that began when Daddy...uh, let's not go there. Suffice it to say that THE MAN controls YOU through fear-- and that's a lot more powerful than Stupidity.

Anyway, YOU and I are through. There's nothing left between us. As Michael Corleone said to his weak, stupid, cowardly brother Fredo, "You're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend..."

Yes, I believe in what the founding fathers said about the peoples' right to dissolve a government that turns on them. And hell yeah I believe in the Second Amendment, though unfortunately, with a mega Trillion Military built on "the American peoples' tax dollars," the opportunity to form a "well-regulated militia" to protect myself and others against the tyranny YOU support is long past.

But don't worry. I'll think of something. Me and the other five billion some-odd other folks who want to save the world from YOU.

Adam Engel is not YOUR "countryman" or "fellow citizen." He'd feel safer confronting a real enemy, with or without arms, than a mob of rats like YOU (patriots seldom travel alone, eh?) with YOUR symbols and "United We Stand" yackety yak one Nation under a vengeful, psycho god in love with DEATH go tell it to Dubya and Perle and the Gang. Johnsons and other Free People can contact Engel at bartleby.samsa@verizon.net. No patriotic SPAM or pre-fab slogans, please.



Yesterday's Features

Ayesha Iman and Sindi Medar-Gould
How Not to Help Amina Lawal: The Hidden Dangers of Letter Writing Campaigns

Julie Hilden
Moussaioui and the Camp X-Ray Detainees: Can He Get a Fair Trial?

Tanya Reinhart
Bush's Roadmap: a Ticket to Failure

Laura Carlsen
Here We Go Again: NAFTA Plus or Minus?

Kenneth Rapoza
The New Fakers: State Dept. Undercuts New Yorker's Goldberg

Stew Albert
A Story I Will Tell

Steve Perry
Bush's Little Nukes

Website of the Day
Strip-o-Rama

 

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