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Recent
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April
10, 2003
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April 12,
2003
Hell
of a Town
Whores
of Babylon: Bloomberg and the News
by
ADAM ENGEL
"In a bid to raise some extra cash
for the city, Mayor Bloomberg announced plans yesterday to sell
New York's good name to companies eager to tap into the city's
image as a vibrant, tough-as-nails metropolis"I don't think
you will see a big Coca-Cola or Pepsi-Cola sign across the front
of City Hall," joked Bloomberg. "The key is, we want
to keep it tasteful." The mayor offered few details, choosing
to leave those to the city's new chief marketing officer, Joseph
Perello, a branding expert whom Bloomberg also appointed yesterday
at an annual salary of $150,000." New
York Daily News, April 2, 2003
Don't laugh, Des Moines, Kansas City,
Butte you're next. Soon you too will be put to bed by
your respective mayor/dictators before eight pm all tucked in
with your feetsy pajamas and milk and cookies and you better
say your prayers or the boogey man'll jump outta yer closet before
you can say, "Hoboken."
"The City never sleeps" because
THE MAN is always watching.
Soon all you bar owners, despite your
eagle eyes for fake IDs, your hanging the flag in your windows
and keeping the televisions tuned to CNN or Fox will be forced
outta business because why the hell should a grown up have to
pay five dollars for a drink after a hard day's work and not
be allowed to light a fucking cigarette on your private property?
Might as well buy a six-pack and a box of butts and go home,
or find a place out in the woods or the park like you did when
you were free and seventeen.
What was that crap Sinatra sang? "I
want to be a part of it, New York, New York?" Yeah, he'd
be welcome in NYC with his booze and attitude and filter-less
Camels.
And what about you hard working patriots?
Doing the early 8 AM to 7 PM "nine to five" thing
with the commute and crowds and crappy job what is it you
DO anyway? and at the end of the day you can have a drink
if you want to ONE, or you'll be 12-stepping your way
to rehab but don't even THINK about lighting up unless
it's pot; I think, at least in NYC, the fine for that is a bit
more lenient.
"Either way, aides suggested, the
city has enormous marketing potential, possibly in the same league
as Nike or Disney. And with the city facing a $3.5billion budget
gap, it no longer can afford to pass up those dollars."
New
York Daily News, April 2, 2003
But forget about your selfish little
habits. There are important things to think about. Like selling
New York City to advertisers and corporations to "raise
money for the city." Like turning what was once an international
metropolis into a ridiculous, privately owned amusement park
"in the same league as Nike or Disney" (don't feel
too bad; can't smoke at Disney Land either).
Of course, maybe NYC wouldn't need to
raise money if it didn't have the world's largest police force
with nothing much to do but bust up protest rallies and hassle
black and Hispanic kids (oh, and Arab/southwest Asian kids too;
let's not forget about that melting pot). Or what if the Yankees,
the world's richest sports team, were to actually pay rent?
Or what if the corporations who own the place and rent, sue,
poison, medicate, educate, entertain, employ and insure its citizens
were to -- just a thought -- pay taxes?
'"Whether it is the [city's] energy
and the excitement, or more recently the resiliency and courage,
those are attributes that companies want to associate with,"
Deputy Mayor Dan Doctoroff saidMost independent ad executives
yesterday agreed, suggesting that New York could reap tens of
millions of dollars" Daily
News.
Yeah, takes a lot of courage and resiliency
to turn your common property over to billionaire politicians
and ad men.
"Everything the city buys, from
tires for the police cars, to paint for buildings, to uniforms
for park employees and trash bags for sanitation workers, those
are all products that could be put into a relationship with the
city," said Douglas Pirnie, a senior vice president at marketing
rights giant IMG.' New
York Daily News, April 2, 2003
So now you can be employed as a Garbage
Man and a Billboard at the same time. You won't earn anything
extra for advertising whatever corporation will sponsor the NYC
Sanitation department, but you'll be courageous and resilient.
And a non-smoker, if you know what's good for you.
Oh, it doesn't matter anyway. With every
block crammed with Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, The Gap, McDonalds,
and other unique New York establishments, not to mention the
monstrous electronic signs and screens of Times Square and all
the advertising lights of Broadway and the billboards at every
bus stop and on the buses and the wall-to-wall advertisements
in the subway cars, who really cares if Bloomberg sells whatever's
left of the City of New York to private corporations?
"But there would be limits, others
suggested, especially when it comes to the city's most revered
landmarks'It can't be the Statue of Liberty Mutual, or the Statue
of Liberty Media,' joked Jon Bond of the advertising firm Kirshenbaum
& Bond'That would be inappropriate.'But an official soap
of New York City? That you could sell, Bond joked. 'I mean, who
wants the official soap of Columbus, Ohio?' New
York Daily News, April 2, 2003
I wouldn't want the "official soap"
of Atlantis, to be quite honest. But really, what is left of
NYC to sell? Insects? Birds? Rodents? I suppose they could
stick clever decals its on cockroaches, rats and squirrels
and advertise URLs on pigeons, but otherwise, not to be a spoil
sport, everything's already been lifted.
A few questions though: Were there any
people interviewed by the Daily News who weren't involved in
government or marketing? Like, maybe, someone who lives here
and thinks he or she and the generations that built this City
might actually own the place? And what're they gonna do with
all those REDWHITEandBLUE flags left over from that "United
We Stand" fad? I knew it wouldn't last.
Adam Engel
is constantly in motion for fear some zealous ad-man might festoon
him with corporate logos and garish lights. He can be reached
at asengel@attglobal.net
Yesterday's
Features
Zoltan
Grossman
The Perils of Occupation: the Easier
the Victory, the Harder the Peace
Uri
Avnery
The Night After
Wayne Madsen
The Telltale Signs of Empire
David Krieger
Before You Become Too Flushed with Victory, Think of Ali Ismaeel
Abbas
Jeremy
Brecher
What Can the World Do Now That Tanks Prowl Baghdad?
Robert
Jensen
The Unseen War
Geoffrey
Neale
Ashcroft's War on the Constitution:
A Patriot Attack on America
Jeffrey
St. Clair
Last Tango in Baghdad
Hammond
Guthrie
Rumors of War
Joseph
Heller
Nately's Old Man
Steve
Perry
War Web Log 4/10
Website
of the Day
The
Third Page
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