home / subscribe / about us / books / archives / search / links / feedback

CounterPunch

February 1, 2003

Just Do It

Outrunning the President

by ADAM ENGEL

They pump their bodies with grim determination.

Hard labor and inspired hormones. Diets optimized through professional intervention. Trainers expert in the chemistry of lean architecture. The human form. Pills, shakes, powders, injections; natural herbs and synthetic wonder molecules. Water with more oxygen than water itself. There are methods. There are numerous methods tried and true. And the machines. Ergonomically correct. Designed for comfort in distress. The latest developments in physical physics, the use of electric power for tension and torsion. Maximum results.

They will stay firm and young forever. Ubiquitous "fitness consultants" oversee their trials.

Male and female forms stretched, flexed, pressed and pulled side by side. Musk of pheromone and torment. Pure mist of ideal.

"Faith, purity of mind, strength of will," say the trainers. "Lean, raw food. Clean digestion. Work it. Pump it. Work it out. Pump it out."

They run on treadmills, pedal stationary bikes.

Huge overhead monitors blast music videos and the War into their sweating heads. Do they imagine themselves in those jets, roaring over the Enemy of the Nation, dropping bombs on its demon progeny? Hear and see the War thrum to the beat of hippy-happy-hoppy tunes. Sex and Death set to digital post-pop pop provoke intense work-outs. They leave their anguished forms to soar with planes and scream raw lust at dancing, cheering crowds.

"We love you, [your name here], we LOVE you!"

Zip! Whoosh! Kaboom. Kaboom. Kaboom!

They bare tamed bodies in thin shorts or conceal wayward fat under baggy sweats.

To log regular hours at the Health Club is to have one's insurance premiums reduced. And of course it is good for overall productivity if the workers and executives are allowed to live with the jets and pop stars for an hour each day -- to leave the cold, onion sweat of the cubicle for steamy muscle action.

Each in his own infinite mental space, soaring, pumping, cycling with the sexy siren-icons and grooving to the War.

Do it, America. Just do it.

Adam Engel is in BETTER SHAPE than the President of the United States. He'll challenge George to a bench-pressing/treadmill running / pretzel-eating contest any day of the week. He can be reached at asengel@attglobal.net when he's not at the gym or buying.

Yesterday's Features

Muqtedar Khan
Heavy Rhetoric, Wistful Thinking and Hydrogen Cars: a response to Bush's State of the Union

William Hughes
An Open Letter to France:
Justice is On Your Side

David Wilson
Meet the Gloucester Weapons Inspectors: the Protest at the Fairford Stealth Bomber Base

Anthony Gancarski
Free Press? "There's No Damn Thing"

Josh Frank
Who Would Jesus Bomb?: 10 Reasons to Oppose War on Iraq

Abu Spinoza
Iraq: Web Resources

Dr. Gerry Lower
Class Warfare Against the Poor

Natalie Johnson Lee
Green Party Response to Bush's State of the Union

Russell Mokhiber and Robert Weissman
Stealing Money from Kids

Maria Tomchick
Bush's Smallpox Boondoggle

Paul di Rooij
War: It's Already Started

Website of the Day
Tie Yourself to the Mast Brave Odysseus: Ashcroft Sings!


Keep CounterPunch Alive:

Make a Tax--Deductible Donation Today Online!

 

CounterPunch Available Exclusively to Subscribers:

  • CounterPunch Special: The Persecution of Gershon Legman by Susan Davis: Smut, the Post Office, Commies and the FBI;
  • Reeling Democrats: Is Pelosi the Answer?
  • Gandhi v. Hitler: the Secret Race for the Nobel Prize;
  • Sullying Mario Savio's Memory;
  • Lynching Then and Now;
  • Earn While You Learn: Chris Whittle and Child Labor;

    The Case of the Pompous Professor;
  • The Class Struggle in Boston: All that Effort, But What Did They Get?

Remember, the CounterPunch website is supported exclusively by subscribers to our newsletter. Our worldwide web audience is soaring , with about seven million hits a month now. This is inspiring, but the work involved also compels us to remind you more urgently than ever to subscribe and/or make a (tax deductible) donation if you can afford it. If you find our site useful please: Subscribe Now!

Or Call Toll Free 1 800 840 3683

home / subscribe / about us / books / archives / search / links /

January 25 / 26, 2003

Ron Jacobs
Iraq War as Football Game

Bill and Kathy Christison
Too Many Smoking Guns: Israel, American Jews and the War on Iraq

Chris Clarke
Collateral Damage: Draft Resistance and the Peace Mvt.

Bruce Jackson
Killing an Oak Tree: a Gratuitous Death

Jennifer Berkshire
Porto Allegre Diary II: Building the Party, Lula Style

Forrest Hylton
Left Turns in South America

Edward Said
When Will Arabs Resist?

William A. Cook
Israeli Democracy: Fact or Fiction?

Anthony Gancarski
America Never Was America to Me

Subcomandante Marcos
Zaps to Basques: Lighten Up!

Ellen Cantarow
Music Lives in Palestine

Marta Russell
Extinguishing Frida Kahlo

Adam Engel
Man in the Black Suit: a novelini

 

Subscribe Online


Search CounterPunch

Read Whiteout and Find Out How the CIA's Backing of the Mujahideen Created the World's Most Robust Heroin Market and Helped to Finance the Rise of the Taliban and Osama bin Laden

Whiteout:
CIA, Drugs & the Press

by Alexander Cockburn
and Jeffrey St. Clair