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As an American, I have always
taken pride in the words "White House." Through decades
of political strife, be it hurricanes, bra-burnings, race riots,
or terrorist attack, the White House has stood as a beacon of
hope, assuring us that somewhere inside is a white President,
upholding American values. Until today, Mr. Bush. Today, I read
that headline in the New York Times, the one you were hoping
I would not read: "White House Says Terror Detainees Hold
Basic Rights."
BASIC rights? Basic RIGHTS?
You just got into a teensy little plane there, Mr. President,
and flew it smack into America's gut. I mean, I knew letting
Laura Bush wear pantsuits would lead to harder stuff but
this?
Mr. Bush, I ask with all due
respect: Are you some type of Communist?
Don't you know "Basic
Rights" is exactly how Osama bin Laden wants you to think?
Don't you see how dangerous it is for you to say that the "people"
you've thrown into your squalid, brutal camps deserve decent
food, treatment, and living conditions? That they are actual
human beings with feelings and ethics, who might, in fact, be
innocent until proven guilty?
I can just see Osama in a cave
someplace, rubbing his hands together and muttering, "Good,
it's working. Now, if I can just get the entire populations of
Iraq, Lebanon, and the Gaza Strip into US detention camps, the
fantastically stupid Americans will at last give them Basic Rights
thus empowering me to destroy Western Civilization, BWHA-HA-HA!!!"
Lest we forget: God does not
want Muslims to destroy the world, Mr. President. God wants Christians
to do that for themselves.
And what do you think the terrorists
in these camps are saying, now that you've foisted Basic Rights
on them?
"He likes me he
really likes me"?
"Gee, I hope the millions
of Americans without Basic Rights won't get jealous of
me"?
"Thank you, Mr. President,
for allowing 27 of my jailers to realize that they have a sadistic
personality disorder and need immediate psychiatric help"?
No. They are lost. They are
confused. Up to now, you had them thinking it was OK to stand
on a box with bags over their heads, holding electric wires until
their vital organs gave out but you've taken that away
from them.
Please don't tell me that the
Supreme Court decision declaring military tribunals unconstitutional
made you do this. I know it did, but please don't tell me. Likewise,
please don't tell me the USA PATRIOT Act got weaker.
How, for instance, did those
judges find out about Common Article 3 of the Geneva Conventions,
prohibiting "humiliating and degrading treatment" of
prisoners? Who steered five of them to that passage requiring
trials to afford "all the judicial guarantees which are
recognized as indispensable by civilized peoples"? And while
we're at it, who told Geneva it was OK to hold conventions???
It makes me sick to think of you kowtowing to a bunch of over-literate
justice wonks all dressed up in their sissy black robes, like
the nine grim reapers of the Apocalypse.
Speaking of death: Sooner or
later we all have to learn that life is not one big frat party,
Mr. Bush. You won't always be around to make vulgar comments
at G8 Summits, thinking your microphone is turned off. Someday
that great Judge in the Sky Judge Jesus, who hears all
vulgar comments will turn off your mike for good. Are you
ready?
Will you be able to tell Judge
Jesus that you abided by the words "Under God" in our
Pledge of Allegiance the words so wisely added in 1954,
when Osama bin Laden was but a terror-twinkle in the eye of one
of your dad's future business associates? "Under,"
means obeying God, who commands us to Do Unto Others Before They
Do It To You. We don't call it the Golden Rule for nothing,
Mr. Bush. Can you tell your Maker you followed that Order, or
will you be forced to admit you were shamed into loving the scum
of the earth as yourself?
I was talking to God the other
day, Mr. Bush, and He happened to mention that this whole mess
started when you began calling America's heartland states "Red."
God says He never told you to do that. Think, Mr. President.
Historically, Red stands for everything you're against: organized
labor; anti-capitalism; equal opportunity; the sovereignty of
nations; that crappy Warren Beatty movie; and BASIC RIGHTS.
This is where I think you are confused.
It's Liberty and Justice for
us, Mr. Bush not them. By giving terrorists Basic
Rights, you have, in effect, turned our American government into
a bunch of Reds. Why, just yesterday, I saw Dick Cheney on the
news, and could have sworn I was looking into the face of Joseph
Stalin.
It's not too late, Mr. President.
Unlike Soviet Russia, we have Constitutional checks and balances
to handle this type thing. The legislative, executive, and judicial
branches are sort of like the rock, scissors, and paper of our
democracy. If the paper does something you don't like, you simply
get the rock and the scissors to slash and smash it to death.
I hope you get my meaning. You know, Mr. Bush, that Stalin guy
couldn't have been wrong all the time.
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