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CounterPunch
March 15,
2003
Cockfight
at Baghdad Corral: 4th Quarter
Bukkake Bombing
Crusade
by Dr. SUSAN BLOCK
It's the fourth quarter in the Cockfight at the
Baghdad Corral, and Saddam is winning, mainly because Dubya is
losing. The biggest peace demonstrations in the history of the
world and a virtually anti-war United Nations have shown America's
President to be a dickless oaf, at least as far as diplomacy
goes, unable (as of this 3.10.03 writing) to persuade even Turkey
to be our whore for 15 billion bucks in baksheesh.
Of course, everyone agrees that Saddam
has shown himself to be a dickhead. But we've known that
for two decades, ever since he gassed some of his Iranian neighbors
and about 100,000 inconvenient Kurds, all with U.S. support,
America and Iraq being asshole buddies at the time. Saddam did
invade Kuwait without being provoked so he could take their oil.
And even though the U.S. is about to defy the United Nations
and invade Iraq without being provoked for the purpose of taking
their oil, two wrongs don't make a right.
Still, the Baghdad Butcher has trumped
the Sadistic Shrub in the International Corral of Cockfighting
Diplomacy. Mostly through shutting his mouth, opening his prisons
(while the U.S. keeps over 2 million people in ours), destroying
his weapons (albeit with some wistfulness; he loves those Al-Samoud
missiles like I cherish my favorite dildos), and begging us to
give peace a chance, Saddam has brilliantly made his case that
he's no worse than your typical 21st century evil despot and
considerably less well-armed. And besides, what about all those
innocent Iraqi people who didn't vote for Saddam any more than
Americans elected our President?
Which brings us back to the Bushman and
his embarrassingly flaccid diplomatic cocksmanship. Though he's
tried like the dickens to get the world to buy his War on Saddam
(and we're paying!), he has failed to "get it up" internationally.
He can barely bribe our allies and devastatingly poor little
countries to get on board with us. Even his pal Putin is dissin'
the Shrub's shortcomings.
What has happened to the Great Pretzel
Swallower? Well, first off, he keeps lying and getting caught
in his lies. Bill Clinton, America's Sex President, told "technical"
lies about his love life, but Dubya, America's War President,
is spouting huge, in-your-face lies about critical international
issues, like what weapons Saddam actually has and what his "ties"
to "Al Qaeda-types" really are.
Second, diplomacy requires a bit of romance.
Getting the nations of the world to back you up in your plan
to "pre-emptively" pummel one of them into abject submission
is a question of seduction. And, as Laura Bush's apparently embalmed
smile can attest, Dubya is no Casanova.
Clinton wasn't just seducing female admirers
while in office; the guy romanced whole continents with diplomacy,
sweet-talking Northern Ireland into settling down and Rabin and
Arafat into shaking hands. Even Daddy Bush seduced most of the
nations of the world into joining him when they all gangbanged
the Wily Iraqi out of Kuwait.
But Dubya doesn't want to be bothered
with seduction. Nah. Here is one politician who really doesn't
care what people think. Why should he? He didn't need their votes
to become President. And he doesn't need their "permission"
to commit mass murder. Cocky? You bet. This is the arrogance
of power, privilege and gross stupidity.
People are rising to oppose this war
before it even starts, from the Security Council to the streets,
wielding sexy signs like "The Only Bush I Trust is My Own"
and "A Village in Texas Has Lost It's Idiot," shouting
and poking fun at the American Emperor and how he's not only
wearing no clothes, he lost his political erection, just like
he never really won that election.
But Bush doesn't care about these "focus
groups." He's reporting to a higher power, God (the Christian
one), or Dick (Cheney, of course, not his own dick; if only Bush
reported to his own dick like Clinton, we might not be in this
mess). Or maybe he reports to his Mom. His oil buddies. The
war industry. Only your favorite conspiracy theorist knows for
sure. The point is he seems to be going full speed ahead with
turning this Cockfight with "the guy who tried to kill my
dad" into WAR with a capital Dubya.
So, what's the plan, Bushman? The Pentagon
calls it "Shock and Awe." Being a sex therapist and
seeing all this stuff through a Darwinian/Freudian/Dr. Ruthian
prism, I call it "Bukkake Bombing."
Perhaps a couple of definitions are in
order. First, bukakke. If you're a porn fan, you probably know
that "bukkake" is a Japanese term that refers to spraying
the face and body of a person, usually a woman, though sometimes
a man, with sperm from one, several or many men. The word actually
means "splash" or "squirt" in Japanese. In
some bukkake sessions, 150 men ejaculate onto one woman.
In American Bukkake, the recipient acts
like she's enjoying herself, rubbing the sperm into her skin
like a beauty treatment (which it is!). In Japanese Bukkake,
she plays up the degradation. Though American Bukkake appeals
more to an Ethical Hedonist like me, perhaps the Japanese style
is closer to the essential allure of bukkake. Whether they like
it or not, aficionados say that the target often experiences
a sort of "enlightenment" while being doused with 150
or so different varieties of spunk.
Legend has it that in ancient Japan,
an adulterous woman would be dragged into the town square and
tied up, whereupon every man in town ejaculated all over her.
Basically, they seem to have been saying, "If you're going
to take it from a man other than your husband, you're going to
get it from everyone else." Some say it comes from the practice
of stoning an unfaithful woman to death, and bukkake is a "kinder,
gentler" chastisement. Whether or not the legends are true,
"bukkake" became a form of Japanese porn in the 1980s,
grew in popularity, and now if you type "bukkake" into
yahoo, you're likely to get several dozen sites, even if you
don't spell it right. You're also likely to get grossed out,
unless you enjoy looking at photos of young women with faces
covered with what looks like gobs of mucous, spilt curdled milk
or what it "really" is--fresh semen.
So much for porn. Let's move on to obscenity:
"Shock and Awe." Sounds kind of sexy, like what we
feel when we watch a dazzling display of fireworks or when we
experience a mind-blowing orgasm. Except the Pentagon isn't talking
about that nice, ecstatic, one-with-the-universe kind of Shock
and Awe. They're talking about horrific, "nearly incomprehensible
levels of massively destructive," end-of-the-universe kind
of Shock and Awe. They're talking about unleashing almost 4000
odd bombs and missiles, possibly including the new nuclear "bunker
busters" and 21,000 pound MOABs (Massive Ordnance Air Blast
aka "the Mother of All Bombs-- Eat My Spooge, Hussein the
Insane!) in the first 48 hours of an attack. That's roughly twice
the number used in the entire 39 days of the first Gulf War.
See why I call it Bukkake Bombing? They
also call it Full Coverage. Blanket Bombing. But instead of buckets
of come, we have millions of tons of deadly military ejaculate,
otherwise known as cruise missiles, about 800 of them, and "precision-guided"
bombs, some 3000 of them, in two days, splashing heavy loads
of lethal ammo on Baghdad, the nonconsensual (Japanese-style)
Bukkake Queen.
And when this massive martial "orgasm"
is over, we won't just have a face full of sperm. We'll have
gargantuan destruction. See, most people who experience Shock
and Awe are not shocked or awed. They are dead. The title comes
from the expectation that anyone left alive is so traumatized
by the onslaught that they'll surrender without a fight.
Will the Bushies really do this awful
thing? In the name of stopping terror, will they unleash an act
of terror possibly worse than 9/11 and Hiroshima combined? That's
the buzz. And in this case, let's just pray that our government
is lying to us. Let's just hope this is a bluff, a brain fart,
or that they lose their "spunk" in the face of all
the stiff opposition.
But can the the Little Emperor calm down
and let the inspectors do their work for the next several months?
As Hans Blix caustically said, they're destroying large lethal
weapons here, not breaking toothpicks (was that a reference to
Dubya's dick?). But what is Bushman going to do then--pack up
his tanks and go home? Haul back 250,000 pumped up troops? That's
like asking a mad armed rapist to please put his swollen snake
back in his pants and go away. Yes, Bush's diplomacy is dickless,
but his military might is large and hard and full of spunk. Ready
to shoot. Primed to deliver Shock and Awe.
The Bukkake Bombing Crusade renders ridiculous
Rummy's insistence that we will be careful to avoid killing civilians.
The first day involves massacring thousands of non-military individuals
in a city of 5 million, more than half of whom are under 15.
It's also going to cost a lot of dough. Figure about a million
bucks a bomb. That's a hell of a money shot.
The Bushies believe or would have us
believe that this will be more of an American-style Bukkake Bombing,
one in which the target likes it or acts like she does. That
is, they expect the Iraqi people to welcome their American Liberators.
And maybe they will, if they manage to survive and aren't too
busy mourning their relatives or loss of their house, electricity,
arms, legs, eyes, eardrums, etc.
The mastermind behind "Shock and
Awe" is Harlan Ullman, a columnist for the Washington
Times (yes, the Moonie paper), and .a Vietnam and Gulf War
vet who taught at the National War College where one of his students
was Colin Powell. Ullman's apocalyptic vision of an enormously
destructive über-military attack, inspired by the writings
of 5th century B.C. philosopher-warrior Sun Tzu (whose less directly
aggressive tactics are said to have inspired Saddam) and colored
by too many video war games, is described in breathless detail
in his 1996 book Shock and Awe: Achieving Rapid Dominance,
available for viewing on the web by militarists, terrorists,
victims and war-watchers. Like most popular Internet offerings,
it has a slightly pornographic style, featuring phrases about
"rendering the adversary impotent."
Many consider Ullman to be a sort of
Dr. Strangelove on crack, thrilled that his concept is being
bandied about by the Bushies as the plan to take down
that maddening Madman from Baghdad once and for all. But Ullman
is not completely cracked. Like many military men, he's not sure
Bush's War is such a good idea, seeing no proof of Saddam's links
to Al Qaeda nor any evidence that he's got usable weapons of
mass destruction. Despite the tremendous fame that the Bush and
his junta have bestowed upon him, they haven't even been able
to seduce Mr. Shock-and-Awe into their camp!
So, Dubya has been flexing his military
Big Stick, but he hasn't been speaking softly, or consistently.
His lack-luster lackeys, from the formerly dignified Powell to
the always annoying Ari Fleisher, have all been loudly trumpeting
the need to Bukkake-Bomb that pussy of a tyrant Saddam, while
we let oil-free wallflower Kim Jong II play with his nukes by
himself (in fact, the Bushies make it seem as though the best
way to avoid being attacked by the U.S. is to build up a collection
of nuclear weapons!).
The Bushies bluster that if they can't
get an international gangbang going, they'll just rape the bitch
themselves. Why with a couple of English blokes and Aussie mates,
plus a few frat brothers and well-paid Eastern European stand-ins,
there's plenty of fully-loaded-and-ready-to-shoot Americans for
the big Bukkake Bombing Crusade.
This is supposed to deter terrorism?
This is going to make the peoples of the world put away their
nukes and their box cutters and embrace us as the Good Guys?
This is going to make Americans forget that we can't even find
Osama? Well, maybe. A recent New York Times/CBS News poll
shows that 45% think Saddam was the guy who took down the World
Trade Centers. Can't we tell one anti-American dickhead from
another?
But back to questions we can answer.
Who is the audience for the Bukkake Bombing Crusade? This is
important, because if regular bukkake didn't have an audience,
it wouldn't be done much. After all, it's not so easy to round
up a gang of guys ready to publicly bust their nuts over a basically
passive "victim." But where there's a paying audience,
there's a will and there's a way, and, apparently, there are
a lot of folks out there eager to pay hard cash to see cocks
bursting, sperm flying, goopy semen pelting a human target. Whether
these viewers are aroused or disgusted or both, they, apparently
want to watch it, or it wouldn't even be made. Of course, there's
also an unwilling audience for bukkake: all of us who
get spammed by bukkake sites. And there are both kinds of audiences
for this War: those who want it and those who hate it and can't
get away from it.
And who "gets" this vast, virtually
worldwide, eager, aroused and disgusted audience? The Media,
of course. War is pornography for journalists. War sells just
like sex sells, only it's more "serious" because in
our sick society, killing in public is far more respectable than
fucking in public.
Oh, if only our esteemed Fourth Estate
could be like The Naked News, and get ratings from taking off
their clothes, while they seriously discuss the issues. But no,
of course, they can't do that! That would be real porn.
They can't show actual penises--that's
obscene! But huge phallic missiles are okay. Bukkake Bombs bursting
through the air is fabulous, as long as you emphasize the fiery
shower and cut away before you get to the blown-up body parts.
That would be obscene. This is only porn after all. They'll be
showing the obscenity later, in bits and palatable pieces, Dahmer-like
delicacies. Plenty of time for that after the damage has been
done.
The mainstream media are the cheerleaders
at this Cockfight, and rather sluttish cheerleaders at that.
By this, I mean CNN, CBS, Fox News, MSNBC, the New York Times
(though they editorially denounced the rush to war, their
front pages root for it), etc. It's pretty nauseating to watch
them all get down on their perma-pressed knees to suck dumbo
Dubya's military Big Stick. But the media are whores, after all,
and along with the oil companies and defense industry, they're
pulling in tons of dough off this atrocity-in-the-making, while
most Americans flounder in an economic recession that goes virtually
unreported. But cruise missiles are so much sexier than unemployment
rates. As the media sees it: Who cares if the world is against
this war? They'll watch it. They'll be glued to their boob tubes.
Watching and waiting for Shock and Awe.
A diplomatically dickless Shrub of a man straining to discharge
an American Apocalypse upon the Cradle of Civilization. At least
that's how it looks to those of us in the cheap seats. Of course,
we're all still praying for a peaceful resolution to this madness.
Yes, in this case, let's just hope our government is lying to
us. Maybe Shock and Awe is just a big bad bluff. Wouldn't that
be nice? But we're not holding our breath. Just holding our noses.
In the meantime, I have a fantasy of
how to "enlighten" Bush. It's inspired by all the anti-war
protests involving people (mostly women) laying their naked bodies
on the ground to spell out PEACE. My fantasy involves myself
and a few of my own buddies (mostly female) giving Bush a little
Bukkake Bombing of our own. I'm talking sex here, darling, nothing
lethal, of course. Make love, not war.
How would we ladies do this? Well, if
you keep up with your sex news, you know that men aren't the
only ones who can spray their partners with their love fluids.
There is such a thing as female ejaculation. That is, just like
men, many women can "squirt" genital fluid (without
the sperm, of course) when we orgasm, sometimes clear across
a room.
With that in mind, picture me and some
of my girlfriends, like sexy Kim, Melanie, Didi, Kelly Steele,
Linda Mac, Laura Moore, and Sarah Roberts, maybe some of the
gorgeous Trashy Girls who cheered when I yelled "Drop Bras,
Not Bombs!" at the end of the show last Saturday. Picture
us in the Oval Office (the same one where Billy Jeff left his
semen stains), all naked or just wearing Trashy stockings and
heels, each of us strategically positioned around the Shrub.
There he'd be sitting, all tied up (obviously, this would be
Japanese-style Bukkake, since I doubt Georgie-poo would do it
willingly, though I could be wrong about that), in his $9000
suit (we don't need to see his puny package), with all of us
ejaculatrixes talking dirty and shouting anti-war slogans, each
of us taking turns jilling off on the Prez, rapid-fire to achieve
Rapid Dominance, full coverage within minutes. One of us would
wear a white-haired wig, pearl choker, and frumpy blue dress,
making herself look like Mommy (the only woman he cares about
pleasing). I'd also include a few cute guys, like French Foreign
Minister Dominique de Villespin who says he "loves"
America, and I believe him. We'd all just love-bomb the Bushman
in a big international, multicultural, co-ed, DNA-spraying Bukkake
Bombing Crusade until he has that "enlightenment" experience,
that "Shock and Awe" that would lead him to see the
diplomatically dumb, dangerous audacity of his ways.
Then maybe he'd stop this nonsense, tell
the world he was only bluffing to get Saddam to really step up
to the Inspection plate, pull up his pants and come back to Crawford
a hero. A Village Idiot of a hero with a lot of come (egg?) on
his face, a big bill to pay and a load of manure on his boots,
but a hero nonetheless.
Dr. Susan Block
is a sex educator, host of The Dr. Susan Block Show and author
of The 10 Commandments of Pleasure. Visit her website at http://www.drsusanblock.com
If you'd like to contact Dr. Susan Block
with questions, comments or contributions, please email liberties@blockbooks.com
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