As we go to press, pork dealers on Capitol Hill are locked in a titanic struggle over the future apportionment of $27 billion. That is the estimated lifetime cost of the nine B-2 bombers that Stealth partisans want the Congress to commit to in next year's spending bills with an initial tranche of $331 million.
This is a difficult moment for proponents of what is assuredly the greatest boondoggle of all time to be dipping their hands in the till. The normally spineless GAO recently sat up in bed and reported that the B-2 ($2 billion a copy) can't fly through a rainstorm without the fancy plastics that make up the stealth coating on the plane "degrading".
However, Norm Dicks, the Washington Democrat, and other partisans should not lose hope. CounterPunch can reveal that the B-2 has a secret attribute that makes it absolutely unique in the annals of aerial warfare: it can actually manufacture its own ordnance (bombs) in flight.
This capability, unanticipated by the designers and now classified far above Top Secret by the Air Force, came to light after a long range test flight over the Pacific last year. Post flight checks revealed an enormous block of ice weighing 500 lbs had formed inside the aircraft during its journey.
The possibilities are awesome. Not only can the bomber re-arm itself without having to touch the ground, but the ice bombs it drops on the enemy will, at least in warm weather operations, inevitably melt into the ground once they have completed their destructive mission. A Stealth bomb!
Close examination of any modern aircraft will reveal the fuselage to be pitted with tiny holes, known in the trade as "weeper holes". These are necessary by dint of the fact that planes inevitably absorb moisture as they go up and down in flight. The holes are to allow the water to drain out again and not accumulate inside the hull. The essence of a stealth aircraft skin however is that it be absolutely smooth, with no breaks in the surface -- ie, no weeper holes. Thus water goes in, but has no way out. The plane ascends to high altitude. The water freezes.
There is, unfortunately, one obstacle to be overcome before the stealth bomb can be made fully operational: there is as yet no way of ensuring precisely where the ice will form. Thus, when the plane landed after the above mentioned Pacific flight, the ice had already begun to melt. The water was dripping directly into the hundreds of millions of dollars worth of avionics (electrical systems) stuffed into the plane, with predictable results.
Discussing the issue, a senior Pentagon official and friend of Counterpunch supplied the only word applicable to the entire B-2 program: "Fiasco." The only problem is that the word fiasco is becoming grossly overused in relation to the Air Force's stealth program given the mid-air distentigration of a Northrup built F-117A at an east coast air show on Sept. 14, 1998. CP
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