This copy is for your personal, non-commercial use only.

Citizen Heal Thyself!
Conservatives Make Their Proposals for Healthcare Coverage
by CHARLES R. LARSON

Ted Cruze:  one packet of twelve aspirin, three Band-Aids, and four yards of clothesline.

Michelle Bachmann:  King James Bible and mandatory Sunday school attendance.

Paul Ryan:  $30.00 in food stamps per month for a family of four.

Eric Cantor:  CVS coupons.

Rush Limbaugh:  no money for contraception, but chastity belts.

Charles and David Koch:  a glass of formaldehyde.

Rick Santorum: four weeks of conversion therapy.

Charles R. Larson is Professor of Literature at American University in Washington, D.C.  Email: clarson@american.edu.