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PARIS, THE NEW NORMAL? — Diana Johnstone files an in-depth report from Paris on the political reaction to the Charlie Hebdo shootings; The Treachery of the Black Political Class: Margaret Kimberley charts the rise and fall of the Congressional Black Caucus; The New Great Game: Pepe Escobar assays the game-changing new alliance between Russia and Turkey; Will the Frackers Go Bust? Joshua Frank reports on how the collapse of global oil prices might spell the end of the fracking frenzy in the Bakken Shale; The Future of the Giraffe: Ecologist Monica Bond reports from Tanzania on the frantic efforts to save one of the world’s most iconic species. Plus: Jeffrey St. Clair on Satire in the Service of Power; Chris Floyd on the Age of Terrorism and Absurdity; Mike Whitney on the Drop Dead Fed; John Wight on the rampant racism of Clint Eastwood’s “American Sniper;” John Walsh on Hillary Clinton and Lee Ballinger on the Gift of Anger.
No One Threatens to Flush America Down the Toilet!

Declare Debt-Default Extremists “Enema Combatants”

by BRIAN J. FOLEY Inc.

Tea Party extremists who threatened to put the U.S. government into default risked flushing America down the toilet. Had the U. S. defaulted, the full faith and credit of the United States would have been destroyed, the dollar’s value would have nosedived, and another Great Depression might have strangled the Nation.

President Obama acted as if he were powerless to avoid default, but there was a simple solution all along: Declare anyone threatening to plunge America into such deep shit as an ”enema combatant,” and flush the traitors down the toilet.

Obama should still do it. Striking back in this way will prevent similar shenanigans the next time the debt ceiling must be raised.

Such a decisive response would fit perfectly with President Obama’s ongoing attack on civil liberties, which has been to take President Bush’s crackdowns a giant leap further. Bush coined the term “enemy combatant” to create a category of humans not subject to human rights. Obama can turn humans into raw sewage.

These fiscal (fecal?) terrorists should be made to understand that no one, NO ONE, especially Members of Congress, threatens to flush America down the toilet.

Enema combatants should fester in Guantanamo. Government employees furloughed during the shutdown can take turns waterboarding them, reminding any whiners that most enema combatants have long supported torturing U.S. enemies.

President Obama might show a bit of mercy by assuring Tea Partiers that any medical treatment for injuries resulting from torture won’t be covered by Obamacare.

Or maybe President Obama should just avoid any legalistic bullshit and follow his usual policy: murder enema combatants with drones. He’s killed people for less!

Brian J. Foley, Inc. is a separate entity from Brian J. Foley, who created Brian J. Foley, Inc. after the United Supreme Court’s decision in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission (2010), so he’d have more rights than you. brianjfoleyinc@gmail.com