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HOW DID ABORTION RIGHTS COME TO THIS?  — Carol Hanisch charts how the right to an abortion began to erode shortly after the Roe v. Wade decision; Uber vs. the Cabbies: Ben Terrall reports on the threats posed by private car services; Remembering August 1914: Binoy Kampmark on the enduring legacy of World War I; Medical Marijuana: a Personal Odyssey: Doug Valentine goes in search of medicinal pot and a good vaporizer; Nostalgia for Socialism: Lee Ballinger surveys the longing in eastern Europe for the material guarantees of socialism. PLUS: Paul Krassner on his Six Dumbest Decisions; Kristin Kolb on the Cancer Ward; Jeffrey St. Clair on the Making of the First Un-War; Chris Floyd on the Children of Lies and Mike Whitney on why the war on ISIS is really a war on Syria.
No One Threatens to Flush America Down the Toilet!

Declare Debt-Default Extremists “Enema Combatants”

by BRIAN J. FOLEY Inc.

Tea Party extremists who threatened to put the U.S. government into default risked flushing America down the toilet. Had the U. S. defaulted, the full faith and credit of the United States would have been destroyed, the dollar’s value would have nosedived, and another Great Depression might have strangled the Nation.

President Obama acted as if he were powerless to avoid default, but there was a simple solution all along: Declare anyone threatening to plunge America into such deep shit as an ”enema combatant,” and flush the traitors down the toilet.

Obama should still do it. Striking back in this way will prevent similar shenanigans the next time the debt ceiling must be raised.

Such a decisive response would fit perfectly with President Obama’s ongoing attack on civil liberties, which has been to take President Bush’s crackdowns a giant leap further. Bush coined the term “enemy combatant” to create a category of humans not subject to human rights. Obama can turn humans into raw sewage.

These fiscal (fecal?) terrorists should be made to understand that no one, NO ONE, especially Members of Congress, threatens to flush America down the toilet.

Enema combatants should fester in Guantanamo. Government employees furloughed during the shutdown can take turns waterboarding them, reminding any whiners that most enema combatants have long supported torturing U.S. enemies.

President Obama might show a bit of mercy by assuring Tea Partiers that any medical treatment for injuries resulting from torture won’t be covered by Obamacare.

Or maybe President Obama should just avoid any legalistic bullshit and follow his usual policy: murder enema combatants with drones. He’s killed people for less!

Brian J. Foley, Inc. is a separate entity from Brian J. Foley, who created Brian J. Foley, Inc. after the United Supreme Court’s decision in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission (2010), so he’d have more rights than you. brianjfoleyinc@gmail.com