FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Do You Really Want to Work There?

by MARTHA ROSENBERG

With another jobless recovery at hand, it is tempting to accept any position offered to you. But there are 12 kinds of companies you don’t want to work for. Here are the warning signs.

1) Beware of companies that call their employees “associates” or “team members.” This is a cheap way of making them feel valued without paying them.

2) Beware of companies with morale campaigns like “We’re The Best” and baseball caps that say “Reach for the Stars.” Employees paid enough don’t need morale campaigns.

3) Be suspicious of offices that are a sea of particle board cubicles with a few ostentatious glass offices. The only time you’ll see the inside of a glass office under Floorplan Feudalism is when they tell you your job was seasonal and they don’t need you anymore.

4) Beware of companies whose employee parking lots are full at 6:30 AM and 6:30 PM. The cars aren’t there because people love the cafeteria food.

5) And, speaking of food, beware of companies that offer free pizza parties and push company games like volleyball. Forced fun is not only an insult–you’re there to work and probably have enough friends–it is a cheap way companies try to look generous.

6) Beware of companies with signs in the employee kitchen like “Your Mother Doesn’t Live Here; Clean Up After Yourself” and “I Hope The Person Who Stole My Sandwich Chokes On It.” These are the people you will be working with. After a few months you’ll be writing signs too.

7) Beware of companies who say they prosecute resume errors and demand drug tests before they’ve even hired you. They’re afraid of sneaky employees because they’ve created sneaky employees. P.S. They also have elaborate security systems.

8) Beware of companies whose ads ask you if you want to “be your own boss” and say you must have a dependable car. You’ll be demonstrating cleaning systems in half empty subdivisions.

9) Beware of companies whose ads say they are seeking “an aggressive self starter” who “works well in fast paced environment.” They’re too cheap to hire enough people–and know it.

10) Never answer an ad with the headline “students, homemakers, retirees–need extra cash?” even if you are a student, homemaker or retiree. The pay is so low, your income qualifies as “Extra cash.”

11) Beware of human resource officers who want to talk about their “outstanding benefits” instead of salary. Not only is the salary low, these companies actually consider paying your social security a benefit.

12) Beware of interviewers who divulge secrets or personal information about other employees at the company like divorces or health problems. Tomorrow they’ll be talking about you…

Martha Rosenberg is an investigative health reporter. She is the author of  Born With A Junk Food Deficiency: How Flaks, Quacks and Hacks Pimp The Public Health (Prometheus).

Martha Rosenberg is an investigative health reporter. She is the author of  Born With A Junk Food Deficiency: How Flaks, Quacks and Hacks Pimp The Public Health (Prometheus).

More articles by:

CounterPunch Magazine

minimag-edit

bernie-the-sandernistas-cover-344x550

zen economics

Weekend Edition
February 24, 2017
Friday - Sunday
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Exxon’s End Game Theory
Pierre M. Sprey - Franklin “Chuck” Spinney
Sleepwalking Into a Nuclear Arms Race with Russia
Paul Street
Liberal Hypocrisy, “Late-Shaming,” and Russia-Blaming in the Age of Trump
Ajamu Baraka
Malcolm X and Human Rights in the Time of Trumpism: Transcending the Master’s Tools
John Laforge
Did Obama Pave the Way for More Torture?
Mike Whitney
McMaster Takes Charge: Trump Relinquishes Control of Foreign Policy 
Patrick Cockburn
The Coming Decline of US and UK Power
Louisa Willcox
The Endangered Species Act: a Critical Safety Net Now Threatened by Congress and Trump
Vijay Prashad
A Foreign Policy of Cruel Populism
John Chuckman
Israel’s Terrible Problem: Two States or One?
Matthew Stevenson
The Parallax View of Donald Trump
Norman Pollack
Drumbeat of Fascism: Find, Arrest, Deport
Stan Cox
Can the Climate Survive Electoral Democracy? Maybe. Can It Survive Capitalism? No.
Ramzy Baroud
The Trump-Netanyahu Circus: Now, No One Can Save Israel from Itself
Edward Hunt
The United States of Permanent War
David Morgan
Trump and the Left: a Case of Mass Hysteria?
Pete Dolack
The Bait and Switch of Public-Private Partnerships
Mike Miller
What Kind of Movement Moment Are We In? 
Elliot Sperber
Why Resistance is Insufficient
Brian Cloughley
What are You Going to Do About Afghanistan, President Trump?
Binoy Kampmark
Warring in the Oncology Ward
Yves Engler
Remembering the Coup in Ghana
Jeremy Brecher
“Climate Kids” v. Trump: Trial of the Century Pits Trump Climate Denialism Against Right to a Climate System Capable of Sustaining Human Life”
Jonathan Taylor
Hate Trump? You Should Have Voted for Ron Paul
Franklin Lamb
Another Small Step for Syrian Refugee Children in Beirut’s “Aleppo Park”
Ron Jacobs
The Realist: Irreverence Was Their Only Sacred Cow
Andre Vltchek
Lock up England in Jail or an Insane Asylum!
Rev. William Alberts
Grandiose Marketing of Spirituality
Paul DeRienzo
Three Years Since the Kitty Litter Disaster at Waste Isolation Pilot Plant
Eric Sommer
Organize Workers Immigrant Defense Committees!
Steve Cooper
A Progressive Agenda
David Swanson
100 Years of Using War to Try to End All War
Andrew Stewart
The 4CHAN Presidency: A Media Critique of the Alt-Right
Edward Leer
Tripping USA: The Chair
Randy Shields
Tom Regan: The Life of the Animal Rights Party
Nyla Ali Khan
One Certain Effect of Instability in Kashmir is the Erosion of Freedom of Expression and Regional Integration
Rob Hager
The Only Fake News That Probably Threw the Election to Trump was not Russian 
Mike Garrity
Why Should We Pay Billionaires to Destroy Our Public Lands? 
Mark Dickman
The Prophet: Deutscher’s Trotsky
Christopher Brauchli
The Politics of the Toilet Police
Ezra Kronfeld
Joe Manchin: a Senate Republicrat to Dispute and Challenge
Clancy Sigal
The Nazis Called It a “Rafle”
Louis Proyect
Socialism Betrayed? Inside the Ukrainian Holodomor
Charles R. Larson
Review: Timothy B. Tyson’s “The Blood of Emmett Till”
David Yearsley
Founding Father of American Song
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail