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The American Honey O’Badger


This is a brief description of the American honey obadger, sometimes confused with the African honey badger of this famous youtube video.

See the American honey obadger running around the Middle East. Oh, my God, he looks lost, he doesn’t seem to belong there… What’s he doing now… Oh, oh, look at him, he’s taking his paw and drawing a “red line” on Syria — he’s bringing the Middle East and maybe whole world to the brink of war — he don’t care. But now he says, “Oops, never mind.” Honey obadger don’t give a shit.

Honey obadger weeps barackodile tears for dead Syrian children while Afghani children dangle bloody and and disfigured from his mouth. Honey obadger rips the faces off Pakistani children for breakfast and accepts Nobel Peace Prize for lunch. Honey obadger don’t give a shit. Honey obadger a real bad ass from 20,000 feet above and 10,000 miles away. Honey obadger can even run backwards, especially from Russian bear. Honey obadger don’t care, he don’t give a shit.

Honey obadger goes crazy in prime time with the whole world watching — he’s agonizes and feels the pain of people who died in World War I while he obliterates Yemeni children in the present. Honey obadger cynical and psychopathic as hell, he don’t give a shit. Honey obadger tells American people: don’t worry about retaliation for wrecking Syria, everybody hates us anyway. Keep hatred alive! Keep hatred alive! He learned that at Harvard. Honey obadger tells the world he can kill anyone, anywhere, anytime but says democracy is strengthened by letting Congress agree with him about murdering innocent people who never attacked America — honey obadger loves himself some US Constitution.

Honey obadger listed by the Guinness Book of World records as the most hypocritical and insufferable of all animals in the political kingdom. Honey obadger has a silver tongue, really big ears for hearing everything said everywhere in the world, lives (politically) almost exclusively on killing Muslims and blends in well with whatever people want to believe they’re seeing. Often called the Rorschach obadger, he’s both the two faces and the empty vessel. But honey obadger don’t care, he really doesn’t give a shit.

Oh, my God, Israel’s screaming at the honey obadger: “Yeah, you do all the work, you kill all our enemies for us while we sit back collecting your money and creating new enemies for you to fight. Thanks for Iraq, stupid. Thanks for Libya, stupid. Don’t let us down on Syria, stupid.” Oh, my God, look at the honey obadger have his badgerhood taken from him on a regular basis by Israeli politicians — but he don’t care, he don’t give a shit. He knows the Syrian government gassed its own people because Israel told him so. Honey obadger not really black, not really white, decided he’s more comfortable just being a Zionist. Honey obadger prides himself on “exceptionalism.”

In Syria, honey obadger kills side by side with cannibals — oh, that’s soooo disgusting — and people who behead Christians and “moderates” who post illustrations on their Facebook page showing jihadi dreams of burning down the US Capitol. He just takes whatever and shacks up with whoever he wants, he’s one nasty ass honey obadger. He don’t give a shit, he don’t care. He’s got neo-con work to do: he must destroy Hezbollah for Israel but he can’t do that till he destroys Syria first and then on to Iran. The obadgers and the obushes change but the inexorable plan remains (wrecking Iraq, Libya, Syria, Sudan, Lebanon, Somali and Iran.) Honey obadger don’t care, he don’t give a shit. Oh, what a crazy fuck, nothing can stop the honey obadger.

The American honey obadger: one of the freakiest creatures produced by late monopoly capitalism.

Randy Shields can be reached at His writings and artwork are collected at



Randy Shields can be reached at His writings and art are collected at

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