FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Miley Cyrus Twerks; America Goes Insane

by JOHN ESKOW

The events of last Sunday were horrific.  Poison was loosed upon innocent civilians—men, women, and children—so it was no wonder The Huffington Post covered the story in such depth, devoting seven front-page stories to it, stories full of righteous wrath…

Of course, there was trouble in Syria, too, but the poisonous display that triggered the Huffington Post’s outrage was The Twerking of Miley Cyrus.   (Not just twerking, the nauseated bloggers will be quick to point out–AND rubber-foam-fingering-herself, tooAND big-butt-slappingAND Robin-Thicke-groping!  And  it’s true; the wench was guilty of all that, and more.)   Young Miley’s sex-dance had shocked even the hipster crowd at the VMA–which is a chronically dorky annual celebration of boring music videos, a show which is only enlivened–and ever so briefly–by the occasional hint of eroticism.

You might’ve thought a quasi-liberal site like The Huffington Post would invite at least one “sex-positive” feminist to defend young Miley, but no—there were long screeds devoted to all the different aspects of Cyrus’ sinfulness, and then there was an entire separate article detailing just how that ultimate arbiter of moral taste, Mika Brezinski, felt about it: “disgusting…disturbing…that girl doesn’t look healthy.”  (To which several million teenage boys immediately replied: “define ‘healthy, Mika.”)

The Post’s own “lifestyle editor,” Lisa Belkin—perhaps afraid that her condescension wouldn’t be obvious enough unless she broke it down into tiny bits of condemnation—wrote, in an “open letter” to Cyrus:

“So, let’s start with what you might have learned this morning:

Twerking in plastic undies is not sexy, nor is massaging your nethers with a foam #1 finger.

We are all for feminism, and a woman’s right to enjoy her sexuality, but it is a misuse of feminism to define it as grinding on Robin Thicke amid dancers dressed like species non-specific plush animals. “

(Golly, Miz Belkin, thanx a heap for telling us what’s a good “use” of feminism and what’s not, ‘cause if’n you’re not right there to ‘splain it for us, how are we to know?)

Many critics condemed the young singer fior wearing “nude-colored” bra and panties. Leaving aside the Caucasian-o-centric nature of that phrase (would it still be “nude-colored” if Rihanna wore it?), the underwear was actually a kind of tangerine-y shade—and, probably much to the disappointment of those teenage boys, it was very easy to see where the “nude-colored” underwear ended and the nude-colored Cyrus-flesh began.

On a deeper level, Cyrus was being attacked for trashing her Disney image—as if she was the one who created the whole “Hanna Montana” persona years before —a paragon of impossible wholesomeness– –so that by expressing herself now, as sexual woman, she was somehow retroactively inviting her audience to fantasize about pedophilia.

But what no-one at the big corporate blogs, or on the news-TV-networks–or all the other stations of bourgeois media-power– seemed to consider was the one fact that seemed obvious to me from the moment she took the stage: she had created an act that was absolutely hilarious.

From her choice of supporting players–those backup dancers with ludicrously-padded butts swaying side-by-side with  chintzy teddy-bears, in chintzy pastel colors, right out of some super-cheesy Japanese pop-art fantasia. ..to the way she kept thrusting her tongue out at oblique angles, like a gender-bending Michael Jordan celebrating the fact that all of life is a slam-dunk for her…to the way she used that big foam “Number One” forefinger—which is sold in ballparks everywhere to proclaim your favorite team’s superiority—as a soft-core comic sex-toy…The whole act was funny—as, I’m convinced, she intended it to be.

But that’s the REAL sin in the eyes of Moral America.  A 20-year old woman so at ease with sex that she can find it both euphoric and amusing at the same time?  Forbidden. “Inappropriate.”  No way. Too upsetting.

As for the twerking itself, it’s been a common dance in the Caribbean for at least thirty years, as anyone who ever hung out for a night at a dancehall (or even a good corner bar) in Jamaica or Guadeloupe  can tell you.  And as wildly erotic as those West Indian dances can be, there’s always a lot of joyful laughter, too.

But when the Once-Pristine Daughter of White Protestant America dances erotically and laughs—well, as the neo-progressive media will tell you, it’s a sign that the apocalypse is well and truly upon us.  So, having warned Miley Cyrus away from such wanton behavior, The Huffington Post can go back to running the kind of pieces they now specialize in, pieces that combine that ever-so-slightly-liberal perspective with a hint of the risque—like Rachel Maddow’s Seventeen Best Nipple-Slips.

John Eskow is a writer and musician. He wrote or co-wrote the movies Air America, The Mask of Zorro, and Pink Cadillac, as well as the novel Smokestack Lightning. He can be reached at: johneskow@yahoo.com

 

 

 

John Eskow is a writer and musician. He wrote or co-wrote the movies Air America, The Mask of Zorro, and Pink Cadillac, as well as the novel Smokestack Lightning. He is a contributor to Killing Trayvons: an Anthology of American Violence. He can be reached at: johneskow@yahoo.com

More articles by:
Weekend Edition
July 29, 2016
Friday - Sunday
Michael Hudson
Obama Said Hillary will Continue His Legacy and Indeed She Will!
Jeffrey St. Clair
She Stoops to Conquer: Notes From the Democratic Convention
Rob Urie
Long Live the Queen of Chaos
Ismael Hossein-Zadeh
Evolution of Capitalism, Escalation of Imperialism
Margot Kidder
My Fellow Americans: We Are Fools
Ralph Nader
Hillary’s Convention Con
Lewis Evans
Executing Children Won’t Save the Tiger or the Rhino
Vijay Prashad
The Iraq War: a Story of Deceit
Chris Odinet
It Wasn’t Just the Baton Rouge Police Who Killed Alton Sterling
Brian Cloughley
Could Trump be Good for Peace?
Patrick Timmons
Racism, Freedom of Expression and the Prohibition of Guns at Universities in Texas
Gary Leupp
The Coming Crisis in U.S.-Turkey Relations
Pepe Escobar
Is War Inevitable in the South China Sea?
Norman Pollack
Clinton Incorruptible: An Ideological Contrivance
Robert Fantina
The Time for Third Parties is Now!
Andre Vltchek
Like Trump, Hitler Also Liked His “Small People”
Serge Halimi
Provoking Russia
David Rovics
The Republicans and Democrats Have Now Switched Places
Andrew Stewart
Countering The Nader Baiter Mythology
Rev. William Alberts
“Law and Order:” Code words for White Lives Matter Most
Ron Jacobs
Something Besides Politics for Summer’s End
David Swanson
It’s Not the Economy, Stupid
Erwan Castel
A Faith that Lifts Barricades: The Ukraine Government Bows and the Ultra-Nationalists are Furious
Steve Horn
Did Industry Ties Lead Democratic Party Platform Committee to Nix Fracking Ban?
Robert Fisk
How to Understand the Beheading of a French Priest
Colin Todhunter
Sugar-Coated Lies: How The Food Lobby Destroys Health In The EU
Franklin Lamb
“Don’t Cry For Us Syria … The Truth is We Shall Never Leave You!”
Caoimhghin Ó Croidheáin
The Artistic Representation of War and Peace, Politics and the Global Crisis
Frederick B. Hudson
Well Fed, Bill?
Harvey Wasserman
NY Times Pushes Nukes While Claiming Renewables Fail to Fight Climate Change
Elliot Sperber
Pseudo-Democracy, Reparations, and Actual Democracy
Uri Avnery
The Orange Man: Trump and the Middle East
Marjorie Cohn
The Content of Trump’s Character
Missy Comley Beattie
Pick Your Poison
Kathleen Wallace
Feel the About Turn
Joseph Grosso
Serving The Grid: Urban Planning in New York
John Repp
Real Cooperation with Nations Is the Best Survival Tactic
Binoy Kampmark
The Scourge of Youth Detention: The Northern Territory, Torture, and Australia’s Detention Disease
Kim Nicolini
Rain the Color Blue with a Little Red In It
Phillip Kim et al.
Open Letter to Bernie Sanders from Former Campaign Staffers
Cesar Chelala
Gang Violence Rages Across Central America
Tom H. Hastings
Africa/America
Robert Koehler
Slavery, War and Presidential Politics
Charles R. Larson
Review: B. George’s “The Death of Rex Ndongo”
July 28, 2016
Paul Street
Politician Speak at the DNC
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail