Dear Ruling Elite
Dear Ruling Elite, Enablers and Trustees,
I am Nobody. If that. Perhaps Nobody in particular—just another not very “productive” member of the other 99-percent. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your astonishing feat of transforming this once racist, imperialist Repoblip or Demogocracy or whatever it was into the Greatest Liberator of Human Souls the world has ever known.
True, Stalin had his day, and the Nazis racked up some pretty impressive numbers during their brief reign, but no one has come near the efficiency and technological mastery of liberating human souls like the Good Old US of A has been doing with minimal loss of domestic human units since 1945. Also, the stats racked up by Stalin and Hitler were not accrued without cost in efficiency, time management and considerable expenditure of domestic human unit work hours per liberated human unit both at home and abroad.
From that first beacon of Hiroshimic light to the present mass bombings and drone attacks, America has become the Great Liberator of its time, perhaps of all time, of human souls. Why we (I hope I don’t offend with the term “we,” since us 99-percenters identify with the leviathan you’ve created and like to share, if only vicariously, like football fans, in its glory) we have liberated millions across the globe, dominating the market share like no Empire has done before, and with seven billion human units crowding the planet, the possibilities of further advances seem endless.
Whether by nukes, napalm, aerial assault, assassination, imprisonment, economic sanction, embargo, debt imposition, or plain old waste and mismanagement of resources—animal, vegetable and mineral, the US of A has achieved a profit-loss ratio of human units liberated per domestic human unit work hours or military “sacrifices” any of those philistine Achaean war-lords of the Iliad or Odyssey would have justifiably envied.
Why, America has become so efficient at liberating the souls of extraneous human-units from their pain-in-the-ass-to-feed-and-maintain bodies that most of the domestic human units don’t even know how truly great a liberator their Empire has become (your Empire, of course; but again, we useless eaters like to feel like part of the team).
Moreover, your genius at creating efficiency of liberation at minimal domestic human-unit cost has created not only jobs, but a surplus population of domestic human units for future use as laborers or even consumable units for aspiring liberators for generations to come!
Again, I’m Nobody, perhaps Nobody in particular, but I beg your leave to say, “Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my empty American heart.”
All together now, let’s sing:
“God Bless America
Land I adore
Stand beside Her
And guide Her
Like a Pimp to
A young virgin whore . . .
Adam Engel is editor of bluddlefilth.org. Submit your soul to firstname.lastname@example.org. Human units, both foreign and domestic, are encouraged to send text, video, graphic, and audio art(ifacts), so long as they’re bluddlefilthy and from The Depths.
We’ve marked down some of CounterPunch’s most popular t-shirts to only $8.00,including the CP shirt featuring Alexander Cockburn’s own scrawl.