Click amount to donate direct to CounterPunch
  • $25
  • $50
  • $100
  • $500
  • $other
  • use PayPal
Support Our Annual Fund Drive! We only ask one time of year, but when we do, we mean it. Without your support we can’t continue to bring you the very best material, day-in and day-out. CounterPunch is one of the last common spaces on the Internet. Help make sure it stays that way.
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Dear Ruling Elite

by ADAM ENGEL

Dear Ruling Elite, Enablers and Trustees,

I am Nobody. If that. Perhaps Nobody in particular—just another not very “productive” member of the other 99-percent. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your astonishing feat of transforming this once racist, imperialist Repoblip or Demogocracy or whatever it was into the Greatest Liberator of Human Souls the world has ever known.

True, Stalin had his day, and the Nazis racked up some pretty impressive numbers during their brief reign, but no one has come near the efficiency and technological mastery of liberating human souls like the Good Old US of A has been doing with minimal loss of domestic human units since 1945. Also, the stats racked up by Stalin and Hitler were not accrued without cost in efficiency, time management and considerable expenditure of domestic human unit work hours per liberated human unit both at home and abroad.

From that first beacon of Hiroshimic light to the present mass bombings and drone attacks, America has become the Great Liberator of its time, perhaps of all time, of human souls. Why we (I hope I don’t offend with the term “we,” since us 99-percenters identify with the leviathan you’ve created and like to share, if only vicariously, like football fans, in its glory) we have liberated millions across the globe, dominating the market share like no Empire has done before, and with seven billion human units crowding the planet, the possibilities of further advances seem endless.

Whether by nukes, napalm, aerial assault, assassination, imprisonment, economic sanction, embargo, debt imposition, or plain old waste and mismanagement of resources—animal, vegetable and mineral, the US of A has achieved a profit-loss ratio of human units liberated per domestic human unit work hours or military “sacrifices” any of those philistine Achaean war-lords of the Iliad or Odyssey would have justifiably envied.

Why, America has become so efficient at liberating the souls of extraneous human-units from their pain-in-the-ass-to-feed-and-maintain bodies that most of the domestic human units don’t even know how truly great a liberator their Empire has become (your Empire, of course; but again, we useless eaters like to feel like part of the team).

Moreover, your genius at creating efficiency of liberation at minimal domestic human-unit cost has created not only jobs, but a surplus population of domestic human units for future use as laborers or even consumable units for aspiring liberators for generations to come!

Again, I’m Nobody, perhaps Nobody in particular, but I beg your leave to say, “Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my empty American heart.”

All together now, let’s sing:

“God Bless America
Land I adore
Stand beside Her
And guide Her
Like a Pimp to
A young virgin whore . . .

Adam Engel is editor of bluddlefilth.org. Submit your soul to bluddlefilth@yahoo.com. Human units, both foreign and domestic, are encouraged to send text, video, graphic, and audio art(ifacts), so long as they’re bluddlefilthy and from The Depths.

Clearance Sale of Vintage
CounterPunch T-Shirts!

We’ve marked down some of CounterPunch’s most popular t-shirts to only $8.00,including the CP shirt featuring Alexander Cockburn’s own scrawl.

Adam Engel is editor of bluddlefilth.org. Submit your soul to bluddlefilth@yahoo.com. Human units, both foreign and domestic, are encouraged to send text, video, graphic, and audio art(ifacts), so long as they’re bluddlefilthy and from The Depths.

More articles by:

2016 Fund Drive
Smart. Fierce. Uncompromised. Support CounterPunch Now!

  • cp-store
  • donate paypal

CounterPunch Magazine

minimag-edit

September 26, 2016
Diana Johnstone
The Hillary Clinton Presidency has Already Begun as Lame Ducks Promote Her War
Gary Leupp
Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Against Russia
Dave Lindorff
Parking While Black: When Police Shoot as First Resort
Doug Johnson Hatlem
Debate Night: Undecided is Everything, Advantage Trump
Robert Crawford
The Political Rhetoric of Perpetual War
Howard Lisnoff
The Case of One Homeless Person
Michael Howard
The New York Times Endorses Hillary, Scorns the World
Russell Mokhiber
Wells Fargo and the Library of Congress’ National Book Festival
Chad Nelson
The Crime of Going Vegan: the Latest Attack on Angela Davis
Colin Todhunter
A System of Food Production for Human Need, Not Corporate Greed
Brian Cloughley
The United States Wants to Put Russia in a Corner
Guillermo R. Gil
The Clevenger Effect: Exposing Racism in Pro Sports
David Swanson
Turn the Pentagon into a Hospital
Ralph Nader
Are You Ready for Democracy?
Chris Martenson
Hell to Pay
Frank X Murphy
Power & Struggle: the Detroit Literacy Case
Chris Knight
The Tom and Noam Show: a Review of Tom Wolfe’s “The Kingdom of Speech”
Weekend Edition
September 23, 2016
Friday - Sunday
Andrew Levine
The Meaning of the Trump Surge
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: More Pricks Than Kicks
Mike Whitney
Oh, Say Can You See the Carnage? Why Stand for a Country That Can Gun You Down in Cold Blood?
Chris Welzenbach
The Diminution of Chris Hayes
Vincent Emanuele
The Riots Will Continue
Rob Urie
A Scam Too Far
Pepe Escobar
Les Deplorables
Patrick Cockburn
Airstrikes, Obfuscation and Propaganda in Syria
Timothy Braatz
The Quarterback and the Propaganda
Sheldon Richman
Obama Rewards Israel’s Bad Behavior
Libby Lunstrum - Patrick Bond
Militarizing Game Parks and Marketing Wildlife are Unsustainable Strategies
Andy Thayer
More Cops Will Worsen, Not Help, Chicago’s Violence Problem
Louis Yako
Can Westerners Help Refugees from War-torn Countries?
David Rosen
Rudy Giuliani & Trump’s Possible Cabinet
Joyce Nelson
TISA and the Privatization of Public Services
Pete Dolack
Global Warming Will Accelerate as Oceans Reach Limits of Remediation
Franklin Lamb
34 Years After the Sabra-Shatila Massacre
Cesar Chelala
How One Man Held off Nuclear War
Norman Pollack
Sovereign Immunity, War Crimes, and Compensation to 9/11 Families
Lamont Lilly
Standing Rock Stakes Claim for Sovereignty: Eyewitness Report From North Dakota
Barbara G. Ellis
A Sandernista Priority: Push Bernie’s Planks!
Hiroyuki Hamada
How Do We Dream the Dream of Peace Together?
Russell Mokhiber
From Rags and Robes to Speedos and Thongs: Why Trump is Crushing Clinton in WV
Julian Vigo
Living La Vida Loca
Aidan O'Brien
Where is Europe’s Duterte? 
Abel Cohen
Russia’s Improbable Role in Everything
Ron Jacobs
A Change Has Gotta’ Come
Uri Avnery
Shimon Peres and the Saga of Sisyphus
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail