Mitt Romney’s Homosexual Panic

by JOHN ESKOW

First things first: you don’t have to be a shrink to know that no-one bullies homosexuals unless they’re tormented by their own homosexuality, active or suppressed.   Any physical attack on a “gay” man is de facto rape.  All that’s required to understand that basic fact is four years of  high school or two years in the military.  Mitt Romney’s serial “pranks,” like the gang-bang attack he led on a gay student while in prep-school at Cranston—Cranston!  how the name itself reeks of fey weakness and upper-class entitlement!—speak loudly to his own deep sexual confusion.  Who the hell seeks the help of a “champion wrestler”—gay-bells ringin’, are you listenin’—to pin the gay student to the ground while “viciously” hacking away at the helpless boy’s long blonde hair with a pair of scissors?  Who DOES such a thing?

Well, a guy like Mitt Romney, about whom a certain rapper—who bears a striking resemblance to myself–wrote this verse: “You don’t think I’m hard, I’m’a show you the proof—I put the muthafuckin’ dog on the damn car roof!  You think my sons are weird, I’ll tell ya why that’s true—I stuck their little bitty asses on the car roof too!”  In any case, a deeply sick man.

Romney’s obvious attempt to “castrate” Jonathan Tauber, the gay student, haunted the poor man for the rest of his life.  But Romney claims not to even remember it—denial, anyone?  Then, in classic Romney style, he makes his original lie exponentially worse for himself by amping it up with a second, even more laughable lie:  “I certainly don’t believe that I thought the fellow was homosexual. That was the furthest thing from our minds back in the 1960s, so that was not the case…”

Lie.  Stone lie.  I’m not that much younger than Mitt Romney, and I can testify that, like teenagers since the beginning of time—or, as Romney would say, for 6,000 years—we had powerful hunches about which of our peers was gay.  No doubt most of those guesses were hilariously wrong.  But in rural New York, we definitely would’ve pegged a certain Willard “Mitt” Romney as a “faggot,” to use the offensive parlance of the day.  And, to this day,  Romney speaks in a prissy, dare I say tight-assed, way; he wears mommy-jeans, with “magic underwear” beneath them, and folds back his shirtsleeves with a fussy precision; he spends hours at the hairdresser dyeing his stylized locks; he seems wildly uneasy in the presence of his wife; he doesn’t like sports, only the owners of sports-teams; and…his name is Willard.

And of course as soon as the world saw that he’d hired a gay man as a policy advisor he insisted on firing him, lest…lest what, exactly?

Whatever Mitt Romney’s true sexual orientation, America is prepared to accept him for who he is.  But first he needs to make peace with himself–and stop trivializing his attacks on gays  by calling them “pranks.”  Once he’s done that, we can all move on.

And then we’ll get to the subject of Michelle Bachman’s husband.

John Eskow is a writer and musician. He wrote or co-wrote the movies Air America, The Mask of Zorro, and Pink Cadillac, as well as the novel Smokestack Lightning. He can be reached at: johneskow@yahoo.com

 

 

 

Like What You’ve Read? Support CounterPunch
September 01, 2015
Mike Whitney
Return to Crisis: Things Keep Getting Worse
Michael Schwalbe
The Moral Hazards of Capitalism
Eric Mann
Inside the Civil Rights Movement: a Conversation With Julian Bond
Pam Martens
How Wall Street Parasites Have Devoured Their Hosts, Your Retirement Plan and the U.S. Economy
Jonathan Latham
Growing Doubt: a Scientist’s Experience of GMOs
Fran Shor
Occupy Wall Street and the Sanders Campaign: a Case of Historical Amnesia?
Joe Paff
The Big Trees: Cockburn, Marx and Shostakovich
Randy Blazak
University Administrators Allow Fraternities to Turn Colleges Into Rape Factories
Robert Hunziker
The IPCC Caught in a Pressure Cooker
George Wuerthner
Myths of the Anthropocene Boosters: Truthout’s Misguided Attack on Wilderness and National Park Ideals
Robert Koehler
Sending Your Children Off to Safe Spaces in College
Jesse Jackson
Season of the Insurgents: From Trump to Sanders
August 31, 2015
Michael Hudson
Whitewashing the IMF’s Destructive Role in Greece
Conn Hallinan
Europe’s New Barbarians
Lawrence Ware
George Bush (Still) Doesn’t Care About Black People
Joseph Natoli
Plutocracy, Gentrification and Racial Violence
Franklin Spinney
One Presidential Debate You Won’t Hear: Why It is Time to Adopt a Sensible Grand Strategy
Dave Lindorff
What’s Wrong with Police in America
Louis Proyect
Jacobin and “The War on Syria”
Lawrence Wittner
Militarism Run Amok: How Russians and Americans are Preparing Their Children for War
Binoy Kampmark
Tales of Darkness: Europe’s Refugee Woes
Ralph Nader
Lo, the Poor Enlightened Billionaire!
Peter Koenig
Greece: a New Beginning? A New Hope?
Dean Baker
America Needs an “Idiot-Proof” Retirement System
Vijay Prashad
Why the Iran Deal is Essential
Tom Clifford
The Marco Polo Bridge Incident: a History That Continues to Resonate
Peter Belmont
The Salaita Affair: a Scandal That Never Should Have Happened
Weekend Edition
August 28-30, 2015
Randy Blazak
Donald Trump is the New Face of White Supremacy
Jeffrey St. Clair
Long Time Coming, Long Time Gone
Mike Whitney
Looting Made Easy: the $2 Trillion Buyback Binge
Alan Nasser
The Myth of the Middle Class: Have Most Americans Always Been Poor?
Rob Urie
Wall Street and the Cycle of Crises
Andrew Levine
Viva Trump?
Ismael Hossein-Zadeh
Behind the Congressional Disagreements Over the Iran Nuclear Deal
Lawrence Ware – Marcus T. McCullough
I Won’t Say Amen: Three Black Christian Clichés That Must Go
Evan Jones
Zionism in Britain: a Neglected Chronicle
John Wight
Learning About the Migration Crisis From Ancient Rome
Andre Vltchek
Lebanon – What if it Fell?
Charles Pierson
How the US and the WTO Crushed India’s Subsidies for Solar Energy
Robert Fantina
Hillary Clinton, Palestine and the Long View
Ben Burgis
Gore Vidal Was Right: What Best of Enemies Leaves Out
Suzanne Gordon
How Vets May Suffer From McCain’s Latest Captivity
Robert Sandels - Nelson P. Valdés
The Cuban Adjustment Act: the Other Immigration Mess
Uri Avnery
The Molten Three: Israel’s Aborted Strike on Iran
John Stanton
Israel’s JINSA Earns Return on Investment: 190 Americans Admirals and Generals Oppose Iran Deal