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HOLLYWOOD AND THE CIA — Film historian Ed Rampell details Hollywood’s entangled relationship with the CIA and the Pentagon; HOUSES OF THE DEAD: Nancy Kurshan exposes the cruel human rights offenses taking place inside America’s vast gulag of Control Unit Prisons; BROTHERHOOD OF SUMMER: David Macaray charts the history of the most powerful union in the US: the Baseball Players Association; TAR SANDS COME TO AMERICA: Steve Horn explains how the Keystone Pipeline debates have diverted attention from Big Oil’s other plans to transport Alberta’s oil into the US. PLUS: Jeffrey St. Clair on CONSTITUTIONAL ENTROPY; Mike Whitney on HOW THE BANKS TARGETED BLACKS; Chris Floyd on THE RISE OF BRITAIN’S TEA PARTY; Kristin Kolb on THE NEEDLE AND THE DAMAGE DONE; Kim Nicolini on the FILMS OF WILLIAM FRIEDKIN; and Lee Ballinger on POETS VS. THE ONE PERCENT.

April 16, 2012

Porno v. Porn

The Not-So-Secret Servicing (Alleged)

by MISSY BEATTIE

While in Colombia, prepping for President Obama’s involvement in the “Submit” of the Americas, eleven members of the Secret Service and five military personnel pursued pleasure (allegedly) at the hands (?) of prostitutes. These men were flown home after being relieved (heh heh) of their duties.

Republican Rep. Darrell Issa, chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform said, “We will participate in over-the-shoulder investigation.” Yeah, I’ll bet Issa would like this particular vantage point.

Prostitution is legal in some “tolerance” areas of Colombia, but the stiffs, tasked to secure the safety of the president, made a big mistake when one of them decided not to pay for whatever secret service was rendered.

Here, it’s appropriate to say, “What a tight wad.”

The president issued a statement, talking tough about “dignity and probity” and calling for a rigorous probe (seems that’s an emission accomplished at the Hotel Caribe). Obama said:

We’re representing the people of the United States, and when we travel to another country I expect us to observe the highest standards because we’re not just representing ourselves.

Boo-yah.

The Droner-in Chief has just broken bad on shameful behavior. How dare these boozers bruise America’s image.

Perhaps, the agent provocateurs and military men who are married will claim their wives don’t understand them. What’s a little strange nook-nook, anyway, when the pressure of the job is so great that shooting off a little steam is par for the intercourse?

Missy Beattie lives in Baltimore, Maryland. Email: missybeat@gmail.com.