FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

From Il to Un

by CHARLES R. LARSON

The glorious event has finally happened: the ascension of still another brilliant constellation into the firmament–Kim Jong Un’s elevation to super-stardom, to savior of his people, blessed redeemer, colossus of the universe, the man of the hour, the man whose name is on everyone’s lips. Though to Western ears, “Un” sounds like the mark of a stutterer, the embarrassing pause when the right word won’t come out for the nervous speaker, never mind. In a country where repression of speech is habitual, “Un” may be a welcome sound, a pause for reflection, a guttural stop or a clearing of the throat.

So little is known of Un (also known as “Dear Follower”) other than his designation of Crown Prince that we asked well-known hacker, Lisbeth Salander, if she could use her considerable skills in helping to flesh out a more rounded portrait of the person who will shortly make diplomats around the world wet their pants. Grudgingly, Lisbeth agreed, tough she said that all she could provide was basic facts, leaving others to connect the dots and analyze Un’s true character and personality.

Birth, early life, education: Kim Jong Un was born in Pyongyang either in 1982 or 1983. Or 1981 or 1984. In an elaborate ceremony three days after his birth, he was given the name “Un,” commonly translated as “Ruler of the Universe.” At the age of six, he was made a four-star general of the Korean People’s Army, though he is currently ranked as a nine-star general. After his early military training, he attended an English-language School in Berne, Switzerland, until 1998, using the pseudonym, Kim Novak, the name he uses to this day for all his activities on the Internet. Un has two children of his own, Kim Jon Eek and Kim Jong Arf, both of whom are girls. Un is passionately interested in skiing and basketball, especially tall American athletes since his own height, like his father’s, is less than five feet.

Purchases on Ebay: Legos, Pokémon figures, Ken dolls, signed basketballs by Wilt Chamberlain and Michael Jordan, and shoes with height-builders.

Amazon.com Books orders: The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand, Sarah Palin’s biography, Going Rogue, Lonely Planet’s Korea, and some years ago: all fifty-eight original Hardy Brothers novels and all titles published by American Girl. Recently, he ordered a Kindle, but Salander could not confirm if the e-book reader has yet to arrive.

Netflicks rentals: The Bridge over the River Kwai, Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing, The Bridges at Toko-Ri, Pork Chop Hill, Mash, and The Manchurian Candidate. Un has also rented all twenty-two James Bond movies and all thirteen Pokémon films. Several of these films were never returned and have accrued substantial late fees.

Facebook sites: Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Flowers, Monica Lewinsky, Anita Hill, Kim Novak, Michael Jordan, Wilt Chamberlain and Pokémon.

Recurrent Canadian pharmacy orders: Lipitor, Plavix, Nexium, Viagra, Zyprexa, Ritalin, Singular, Prevacid, Herceptin, Avandia, Ambien, Avastin, Seroquel, Diovan, Spiriva, Cialis, Coreg, Evista, Paxil, Botox, Cirpro, Epzicom, Toviaz, and Depends.

Note: This is classified information.

CHARLES R. LARSON is Professor of Literature at American University, in Washington, D.C.

Charles R. Larson is Emeritus Professor of Literature at American University, in Washington, D.C. Email = clarson@american.edu. Twitter @LarsonChuck.

May 04, 2016
Kshama Sawant
It’s Not About Bernie: Why We Can’t Let Our Revolution Die in Philadelphia
Conn Hallinan
Baiting the Bear: Russia and NATO
Joshua Frank
Hanford’s Leaky Nuke Tanks and Sick Workers, A Never-Ending Saga
Paul Craig Roberts
TIPP: Advancing American Imperialism
Ted Rall
Hillary to Bernie Supporters: Don’t Vote for Me!
Eric Draitser
Hillary Clinton and Wall Street’s Neoliberal War on Latin America
Leslie Scott
The Story of Jill Stein: Putting People, Peace and the Planet Before Profits
Ann Garrison
Building the Greens Into a Mass Party: Interview with Bruce Dixon
Tom Clifford
Crying Rape: Trump’s Slurs Against China
Lawrence Davidson
Getting Rid of Bad Examples: Andrew Jackson & Woodrow Wilson
Ellen Brown
Bank of North Dakota Soars Despite Oil Bust: A Blueprint for California?
Nelson Valdes
Is Fidel Castro Outside or Part of Mainstream Thinking? A Selection of Quotes
Jesse Jackson
Don’t Send Flint Down the Drain: Fix It!
Nathan Riley
Help Bernie Keep His Halo
Rivera Sun
Remembering Nonviolent History: Freedom Rides
Clancy Sigal
Rachel and the Isolationists: How Maddow Blew It
Laura Finley
Changing the Conversation About “The Woman Card”
CJ Hopkins
Coming this Summer … Revenge of the Bride of Sophie’s Choice
May 03, 2016
Gary Leupp
Hillary Clinton’s Foreign Policy Resumé: What the Record Shows
Michèle Brand – Arun Gupta
What is the “Nuit Debout”?
Chuck Churchill
The Failures of Capitalism, Donald Trump and Right Wing Terror
Dave Marsh
Bernie and the Greens
John Wight
Zionism Should be on Trial, Not Ken Livingstone
Rev. John Dear
A Dweller in Peace: the Life and Times of Daniel Berrigan
Patrick Cockburn
Saudi Arabia’s Great Leap Forward: What Would Mao Think?
Doug Johnson Hatlem
Electoral Votes Matter: Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders vs Donald Trump
Chris Gilbert
Venezuela Today: This Must Be Progress
Pepe Escobar
The Calm Before the Coming Global Storm
Ruth Fowler
Intersecting with the Identity Police (Or Why I Stopped Writing Op-Eds)
Victor Lasa
The Battle Rages on in Spain: the Country Prepares for Repeat Elections in June
Jack Rasmus
Is the US Economy Heading for Recession?
Dean Baker
Time for an Accountable Federal Reserve
Ted Rall
Working for US Gov Means Never Saying Sorry
Dave Welsh
Hunger Strikers at Mission Police Station: “Stop the execution of our people”
John Eskow
The Death of Prince and the Death of Lonnie Mack
May 02, 2016
Michael Hudson – Gordon Long
Wall Street Has Taken Over the Economy and is Draining It
Paul Street
The Bernie Fade Begins
Ron Jacobs
On the Frontlines of Peace: the Life of Daniel Berrigan
Louis Yako
Dubai Transit
Bill Quigley
Teacher, Union Leader, Labor Lawyer: Profile of Chris Williams Social Justice Advocate
Patrick Cockburn
Into the Green Zone: Iraq’s Disintegrating Political System
Lawrence Ware
Trump is the Presidential Candidate the Republicans Deserve
Ron Forthofer
Just Say No to Corporate Rule
Ralph Nader
The Long-Distance Rebound of Bernie Sanders
Ken Butigan
Remembering Daniel Berrigan, with Gratitude
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail