FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

From Il to Un

by CHARLES R. LARSON

The glorious event has finally happened: the ascension of still another brilliant constellation into the firmament–Kim Jong Un’s elevation to super-stardom, to savior of his people, blessed redeemer, colossus of the universe, the man of the hour, the man whose name is on everyone’s lips. Though to Western ears, “Un” sounds like the mark of a stutterer, the embarrassing pause when the right word won’t come out for the nervous speaker, never mind. In a country where repression of speech is habitual, “Un” may be a welcome sound, a pause for reflection, a guttural stop or a clearing of the throat.

So little is known of Un (also known as “Dear Follower”) other than his designation of Crown Prince that we asked well-known hacker, Lisbeth Salander, if she could use her considerable skills in helping to flesh out a more rounded portrait of the person who will shortly make diplomats around the world wet their pants. Grudgingly, Lisbeth agreed, tough she said that all she could provide was basic facts, leaving others to connect the dots and analyze Un’s true character and personality.

Birth, early life, education: Kim Jong Un was born in Pyongyang either in 1982 or 1983. Or 1981 or 1984. In an elaborate ceremony three days after his birth, he was given the name “Un,” commonly translated as “Ruler of the Universe.” At the age of six, he was made a four-star general of the Korean People’s Army, though he is currently ranked as a nine-star general. After his early military training, he attended an English-language School in Berne, Switzerland, until 1998, using the pseudonym, Kim Novak, the name he uses to this day for all his activities on the Internet. Un has two children of his own, Kim Jon Eek and Kim Jong Arf, both of whom are girls. Un is passionately interested in skiing and basketball, especially tall American athletes since his own height, like his father’s, is less than five feet.

Purchases on Ebay: Legos, Pokémon figures, Ken dolls, signed basketballs by Wilt Chamberlain and Michael Jordan, and shoes with height-builders.

Amazon.com Books orders: The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand, Sarah Palin’s biography, Going Rogue, Lonely Planet’s Korea, and some years ago: all fifty-eight original Hardy Brothers novels and all titles published by American Girl. Recently, he ordered a Kindle, but Salander could not confirm if the e-book reader has yet to arrive.

Netflicks rentals: The Bridge over the River Kwai, Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing, The Bridges at Toko-Ri, Pork Chop Hill, Mash, and The Manchurian Candidate. Un has also rented all twenty-two James Bond movies and all thirteen Pokémon films. Several of these films were never returned and have accrued substantial late fees.

Facebook sites: Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Flowers, Monica Lewinsky, Anita Hill, Kim Novak, Michael Jordan, Wilt Chamberlain and Pokémon.

Recurrent Canadian pharmacy orders: Lipitor, Plavix, Nexium, Viagra, Zyprexa, Ritalin, Singular, Prevacid, Herceptin, Avandia, Ambien, Avastin, Seroquel, Diovan, Spiriva, Cialis, Coreg, Evista, Paxil, Botox, Cirpro, Epzicom, Toviaz, and Depends.

Note: This is classified information.

CHARLES R. LARSON is Professor of Literature at American University, in Washington, D.C.

Charles R. Larson is Emeritus Professor of Literature at American University, in Washington, D.C. Email = clarson@american.edu. Twitter @LarsonChuck.

More articles by:
Weekend Edition
May 27, 2016
Friday - Sunday
John Pilger
Silencing America as It Prepares for War
Rob Urie
By the Numbers: Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are Fringe Candidates
Paul Street
Feel the Hate
Daniel Raventós - Julie Wark
Basic Income Gathers Steam Across Europe
Andrew Levine
Hillary’s Gun Gambit
Jeffrey St. Clair
Hand Jobs: Heidegger, Hitler and Trump
S. Brian Willson
Remembering All the Deaths From All of Our Wars
Dave Lindorff
With Clinton’s Nixonian Email Scandal Deepening, Sanders Must Demand Answers
Pete Dolack
Millions for the Boss, Cuts for You!
Gunnar Westberg
Close Calls: We Were Much Closer to Nuclear Annihilation Than We Ever Knew
Peter Lee
To Hell and Back: Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Karl Grossman
Long Island as a Nuclear Park
Binoy Kampmark
Sweden’s Assange Problem: The District Court Ruling
Robert Fisk
Why the US Dropped Its Demand That Assad Must Go
Martha Rosenberg – Ronnie Cummins
Bayer and Monsanto: a Marriage Made in Hell
Brian Cloughley
Pivoting to War
Stavros Mavroudeas
Blatant Hypocrisy: the Latest Late-Night Bailout of Greece
Arun Gupta
A War of All Against All
Dan Kovalik
NPR, Yemen & the Downplaying of U.S. War Crimes
Randy Blazak
Thugs, Bullies, and Donald J. Trump: The Perils of Wounded Masculinity
Murray Dobbin
Are We Witnessing the Beginning of the End of Globalization?
Daniel Falcone
Urban Injustice: How Ghettos Happen, an Interview with David Hilfiker
Gloria Jimenez
In Honduras, USAID Was in Bed with Berta Cáceres’ Accused Killers
Kent Paterson
The Old Braceros Fight On
Lawrence Reichard
The Seemingly Endless Indignities of Air Travel: Report from the Losing Side of Class Warfare
Peter Berllios
Bernie and Utopia
Stan Cox – Paul Cox
Indonesia’s Unnatural Mud Disaster Turns Ten
Linda Pentz Gunter
Obama in Hiroshima: Time to Say “Sorry” and “Ban the Bomb”
George Souvlis
How the West Came to Rule: an Interview with Alexander Anievas
Julian Vigo
The Government and Your i-Phone: the Latest Threat to Privacy
Stratos Ramoglou
Why the Greek Economic Crisis Won’t be Ending Anytime Soon
David Price
The 2016 Tour of California: Notes on a Big Pharma Bike Race
Dmitry Mickiewicz
Barbarous Deforestation in Western Ukraine
Rev. William Alberts
The United Methodist Church Up to Its Old Trick: Kicking the Can of Real Inclusion Down the Road
Patrick Bond
Imperialism’s Junior Partners
Mark Hand
The Trouble with Fracking Fiction
Priti Gulati Cox
Broken Green: Two Years of Modi
Marc Levy
Sitrep: Hometown Unwelcomes Vietnam Vets
Lorenzo Raymond
Why Nonviolent Civil Resistance Doesn’t Work (Unless You Have Lots of Bombs)
Ed Kemmick
New Book Full of Amazing Montana Women
Michael Dickinson
Bye Bye Legal High in Backwards Britain
Missy Comley Beattie
Wanted: Daddy or Mommy in Chief
Ed Meek
The Republic of Fear
Charles R. Larson
Russian Women, Then and Now
David Yearsley
Elgar’s Hegemony: the Pomp of Empire
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail