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Dear Mrs. Abacha

by CHARLES R. LARSON

 

Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com
Wed. Mar 1, 2006 at
11:16 AM
To: kmr33@hotmail.com                                                                                  
                  
Dear Friend,

I am Mrs. Maryam Abacha here, widow of the late beloved President of Nigeria, Sani Abacha, who die of a heart attack in 1998.  I am currently seeking refuge in Dakar, Senegal, under the Unite Nation High Commission For Refugees (UNHCR) and in need of your assistance.  After death and burial of my esteemed husband, I escape Nigeria with a Very Important Document (VID), a DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE (DC) of £15.5, Fifteen Million Five Hundred Thousand English Pounds, identifying me as the Next of Kin (NK).  Meanwhile, I was saddle with the Problem (P) of securing a trust worthy foreign personality or an organization to help transfer the money over to his/her country with the intention of investing it in a business under his/her directives and supervisstions, because

I have no knowledge of investment.

Please if you are so kind as to assist me, I shall send you all Vital Informations (VI) for your confirmation regarding the financial house where the DC was lodge.  I am giving you this offers as mention with every confidence on your acceptance to assist me as your own sister to manage the money on my behalf until such a time I am able to stand on my own feet.  I will be happy to hear from you.  God Bless You as you consider my plea.

Maryam Abacha

 

Kmr33@hotmail.com
Thur. Mar 9, 2006 at
10:12 PM
To: Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com            

Dear Mrs. Abacha,

This response is somewhat awkward because—and I am certain you already know this—I was living in Nigeria at the time of your late husband’s sudden demise.  In fact, I knew the person who supplied him with the Viagra that led to his heart attack.  My understanding is that Sani Abacha did not read the safety instructions on his prescription and took all ten pills in the container at one time.  You have my utmost sympathy for the tragic results, and if you can somehow find it in your heart not to blame me or my friend (or America as far as that goes), I believe I can assist you.

Ulysses S. Grant

Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com
Fri. Mar 10, 2006 at
7:03 AM
To: Kmr33hotmail.com                                                                                       

Dear Mr. Grant,

First, I have to thank you for bringing out your precious time to respond to my mail for assistance and I must thank you for providing me with your right full name, because of that I was not certain.  Also, as I was not present at the time of my beloved husband’s death their can be no way that I can hold you responsible so I forgive you for that.

But let me explain you more my present status here in Senegal as a refugee seeking asylum.  According to the financial governing laws of this country, people under refugees are not allow to participate personal into any monetary transaction or operate account inter national or local.

Moreover, I went into serious discussion through email with the financial outfit where this money was deposit into, for them to advise me on what to do in order to have assess to the fund, then the legal department they told me in situations like mine, the best solution to it is by soliciting for assistance of a reliable foreigner who can assist me receive the fund and invest it on my behalf as I wish.

It is important that quickly I receive from you the following informations as well as your Private Telephone Number (PTN) and also the details of the account to be use for Transfer as follows:
Your Name: Ulysses S. Grant (which I all ready know)
Bank Name:
Bank Address
Account Number:
Swift Code Number:
Routing Number:

I will be giving you 35% of the money for your coporation.

Maryam Abacha

Kmr@hotmail.com
Mon. Mar 13, 2006 at
9:43 AM
To: Lady Maryam Abacha  sa1412@yahoo.com                                          

Dear Maryam,

I did not tell you in my previous email that I am also alone in the world, a widower these several years now, and perhaps an easier way to resolve your financial issues would be for me to fly to Senegal, meet you, and if we are compatible with one another, we could get married.  Such an arrangement would make it possible for you to return to the United States with me (as my wife) which would certainly simplify the issue of the £15.5 deposited in England.  How do you fancy such a proposal?

All my best wishes,

Ulysses

Lady Maryam Abacha  sa1412@yahoo.com
Tues. Mar 14, 2006 at
6:55 AM
To: kmr@hotmail.com                                                                                  
                                   
Dear Ulysses,

I must say that it is a good thing for you to look for a wife but we just met and by Nigerian law I am expect to marry my late husband’s senior brother, Insani Abacha, as is our tribal custom here in Nigeria.

Please, I beg you to provide your bank information as soon as possible and afterwards we can possible talk of marriage should I decide not to marry my husband’s brother.

Maryam

Kmr@hotmail.com
Fri. Mar 17, 2006 at
8:21 PM
To: Lady Maryam Abacha  sa1412@yahoo.com                                      
 
Dear Maryam,

If you are no longer in Nigeria, but in Senegal as your email messages have said, how can you be expected to marry your late husband’s older brother?

Love,
Ulysses

Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com
Sat. Mar. 18, 2006 at
7:45 AM
To: kmr@hotmail.com                                                                                   

Dear Ulysses,

The pressure to marry my brother-in-law increase even though I am temporarily in Senegal seeking this refuge.  I fear that I may be kid nap back to Nigeria, since that brother has now learn of my DC and will do anything to force me into marriage I do not desire. The maturity on the DC will arrive shortly and I must arrange for transfer into your hands before that date or interest will be lost.

Also, I am nearly destitoot here, facing daily humiliations of having to pay others for my comforts, as minimal as they are.

Please send me bank information by return mail.  Other arrangements (marriage) will have to be delay.

Love,
Maryam

Kmr@hotmail.com
Tues. Mar. 21, 2006 at
10:48 PM
To: Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com                                        

Beloved Maryam,

Please inform your bank of the following information regarding my bank, as follows:

Ulysses S. Grant
Bank Name:  First Farmers Bank of New York City
Account No:  WCBS-FM101.1
Swift Code Number:  5.30APR
Routing No:  1600PENNAVE

All my Love,
Ulysses

PS.  But I feel that I must join you in Senegal to protect you.

Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com
Wed. Mar. 22, 2006 at
6:47 AM
To: kmr@hotmail.com

Dearest Ulysses,

Did you type an error with one of those numbers or is it the bank?  A friend in the refugee camp here who has been to America says he has never heard of the First Farmers Bank of New York City.  Explain me, but soon because I fear that my brother inlaw all ready has plans to take me back to Nigeria.

My Love,
Maryam

Kmr@hotmail.com
Mon. Mar. 27, 2006 at
11:18 PM  
To: Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com                                       

Dearest Maryam,

There are many so-called private banks in the United States, not listed publicly.  That name is, indeed, correct.  Please try a second time as I, myself, have occasionally encountered trouble transferring money electronically.

I have purchased a ticket to fly to Dakar in two weeks and thus I need to know your current location.  I have friends in the American embassy who can certainly assist us—both in the transfer of money and a possible marriage.

Your beloved Ulysses

Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com
Tues. Mar 28, 2006 at
7:22 AM
To: kmr@hotmail.com                                                                                   

Dear Ulysses,

I beg you not to act to hastily and fly to Senegal.  Delay your departure.

If you can check again to see if any of the Bank Numbers you have send me are incorrect and correct them, then the banking matters can be complete before your arrival.

Matters of marriage can be discuss afterwards.

My love,
Maryam

Kmr@hotmail.com
Mon. April 3. 2006 at
12:45 PM
To: Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com                                      

Dearest Maryam,

I am unable to change my ticket without a major penalty.  I will arrive in Dakar next Monday, thus I need to know your current location.
I do not believe that you will be disappointed when you see me.  I am 62 years old, but I will bring some Viagra in case it is needed.

Then, afterwards, we can wire my bank and transfer your money to my account and enjoy many years of comfortable living together.

I need to know your location immediately.

My endless love,
Ulysses

 

Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com
Tues. April 4, 2006 at
  7:12 AM
To: kmr@hotmail.com                                                                                 

Dear Ulysses,

Alas, I am no longer in Senegal but back in Nigeria, confined to the premises of my brother inlaw’s compound and watch over constantly.
Yet there is still hope.  If you can make certain of your Bank Account numbers and that money can be safely transfer to you, I believe I will not longer be so desirable to my wicked brother inlaw and I will be able to join you without any fear.

Love to you,
Maryam

Kmr@hotmail.com
Wed. April 12, 2006 at
11:43 AM
To: Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.co                                     

Dearest Maryam,

But I am now in Dakar at the United States Embassy.  I have already checked the flights to Nigeria and I can fly there in three more days but I will need to know where you are.

How can you respond to me from your brother-in-law’s compound?

Does he have WiFi in his compound?  How can you keep responding to my email messages?

Your excited lover,
Ulysses

Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com
Tues. April 13, 2006 at
 7:55 AM
To: kmr@hotmail.com                                                                                 

Dearest Ulysses,

I beg you not to come to Nigeria, until the transfer of money has been complete.  Then, I will be able to tell my brother-in-law that I am a pauper.

Are you certain the numbers you have sent me are correct?

I have a Blackbarry that I have from my brother-in-law’s briefcase (he is a businessman always using his notebook computer).

My deepest love,
Maryam

Kmr@hotmail.com
Mon., April 17, 2006 at
11:17 PM
To: Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com                                      
                                      
Dearest,

You are right.  One of those numbers is in error.  I have just learned that myself.  Use 5.45APR for the Swift Code Number and the transaction will be complete.

I am waiting for you in Abuja, now that I am in Nigeria.

Where are you staying?  I will liberate you as soon as possible, but I need to know your location immediately.

I am so excited.

Ulysses

Lady Maryam Abacha sa1412@yahoo.com
Tues. April 18, 2006 at
8:04 AM
To: kmr@hotmail.co                                                                                  

Dear One,

The transaction has still not gone through, but perhaps it will when we are together.

But you must fly to Douala, in the Cameroon, where I have escape to one of my late husband’s houses.  I am safe here because of his bodyguards. When you get to Douala, I will send you direction.

Bring ten Viagra.

Your love,
Maryam

CHARLES R. LARSON is Professor of Literature at American University in Washington, D.C. His books include Under African Skies, Worlds of Fiction, The Ordeal of the African Writer and Academia Nuts. He can be reached at: clarson@american.edu

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Charles R. Larson is Emeritus Professor of Literature at American University, in Washington, D.C. Email = clarson@american.edu. Twitter @LarsonChuck.

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