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"You Don't Bring Me Scab Goons Anymore"
Huffpost Bloggers on Strike!
by PAUL KRASSNER

Inspired ironically enough by a right-wing comic strip, Prickly City–a talking dog complains to publisher Arianna Huffington, "Let me get this straight. Advertisers pay you for Huffington Post, but you don’t give any of us bloggers a single penny?"–the newly formed Bloggers Ego Guild (BEG) have called for a strike.

They have stopped posting their rants and have already begun picketing in cyberspace. Contributors to other progressive websites, including Kos and Counterpunch, have pledged to join in this mass protest, although they have been experiencing problems trying to locate any links to the online demonstrations. Conservative bloggers issued a surprisingly brief statement: "We differ to BEG."

Ms. Huffington insists that the logistics of the Internet make it impossible to compensate her bloggers because the spectrum of their output cannot be measured by a single pay scale.

She argues,

"How can you put on the same level a posting by David Sirota delineating a keen analysis of the healthcare crisis with a posting by Alec Baldwin’s simplistic description of the WGA strike as ‘motherfucking, motherfucking, motherfucking?’ It’s like comparing orange concentrate with candy apples. But not for a moment do I question the sincerity of Alec’s passion. And in support of my hard-working writers–don’t forget, I am the blogger-in-chief–I will be joining their strike, arguing with myself as long as it takes to reach an agreement, which of course will never happen."

Meanwhile, show-biz celebrities are doing their part by entertaining the strikers, who continue walking back and forth in front of their computers, keeping their collective eye on those screens as Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond perform their duet, "You Don’t Bring Me Scab Goons Any More."

PAUL KRASSNER is the editor of The Realist. His books include: Pot Stories for the Soul, One Hand Jerking and Murder at the Conspiracy Convention. He can be reached through his website: http://paulkrassner.com/