Click amount to donate direct to CounterPunch
  • $25
  • $50
  • $100
  • $500
  • $other
  • use PayPal
Keep CounterPunch ad free. Support our annual fund drive today!

For Halloween, Ann Coulter Dresses as …. Ann Coulter!


James Dewey Watson, the co-discoverer of DNA, recently resigned as chancellor of Long Island’s Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory for making racially insensitive remarks. But don’t expect Ann Coulter to step down from the public spotlight anytime soon.

Especially as Islamo fascism tours take off on college campuses.

Even though the conservative pundit called former Vice President Al Gore and Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards the “f” word for gay, ridiculed 9/11 widows, claimed Ambassador to France Pamela Harriman “slept her way to the top,” told disabled Vietnam veteran and former Georgia Senator Max Cleland, “People like you caused us to lose that war,” recommended poisoning Supreme Court Justice Stevens, called reporter Helen Thomas an “old Arab,” called Senator John Kerry a kept spouse and claimed she suffered more listening to Abu Ghraib stories than did the inmates, Coulter is not big on self correction.

In fact she felt so ashamed about the lapses she says she “couldn’t stop laughing.”

Still there are signs Coulter’s career might be on decrescendo judging from the melodramatic and dated tone to her new bestseller, If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d be Republicans. (Coulter doesn’t write books; she writes “bestsellers.”)

“True, it was heartless of me to question whether al Qaeda had specifically targeted the Jersey Girls’ husbands and whether the other 2,994 victims were just collateral damage. I should have just told them to ‘put some ice on that,’ as Juanita Broaddrick says Hillary’s husband did after raping her.”

Got that?

“Liberals are racked by self-loathing as the result of some traumatic incident–say, driving drunk off a bridge with your mistress passed out in the back seat and letting the poor girl drown because you’re a married man and a U.S. Senator, just to take one utterly random, hypothetical example off the top of my head.”

And that?

Coulter doesn’t seem to realize Chappaquiddick and Bill Clinton’s infidelities are not high on the public’s indignation scale anymore. Same with “[Clinton’s] groping Kathleen Willey simultaneously with her own spouse committing suicide.”

And what is a proponent of family values doing naming chapters, Bill Clinton: He Left a Mark on History That May Never Come Out–wink wink–and making Moby Dick jokes anyway?

Also dated is Coulter’s polarizing “us and them” language.

“How about attacks on gays? Maybe gay-bashers are just tired of being told they have no sense of style.”

“It’s always the same people who characterize puncturing a baby’s skull and sucking the brains out a ‘constitutional right’ who rise in self-righteous moral condemnation over some harmless little joke I’ve told.”

Don’t think joke one is funny? You’re probably in category two!

Then there’s feminism.

Maybe Coulter was so jonesing for another R rated Bill joke–the joke: Hillary will be “the first woman in a Clinton administration to sit behind the desk in the Oval Office instead of under it,”–that she could overlook Clinton administration women like Janet Reno, Donna Shalala and Madeleine Albright.

It still doesn’t excuse a line like, “If you’ve ever wondered whether the Democrats have become a bunch of women, consider that they have now adopted the feminists’ motto: ‘That’s not funny!'”

Yes it’s 1972-style woman bashing! Packed on ice from the days when classified ads read, “help wanted Gal Friday” and letters began, “Sir.”

Even though it might be said of Coulter as it’s been said of Madonna that she has the body of a hooker and the mind of a pimp, she still must realize that speaker and reader are not presumed male in 2007. And that the Speaker of the House, many senators and several governors are a bunch of women.

Finally, there’s Coulter’s writing itself–or to be more accurate, pasting. There is no bigger giveaway to creeping obsolescence and pedantry than quoting and repeating yourself.

Except for about 20 pages of new material, If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans is nothing but out takes from previous books and forced attempts at one-liners.

And like the worse pastiche of homespun aphorisms, the sayings are thrown together without any order or organization.

Coulter even seems to recognize this shortcoming, making the joke early in the book that if she’s too “disjointed … Barack Obama might accuse me of stealing his act.” No worries there.



Martha Rosenberg is an investigative health reporter. She is the author of  Born With A Junk Food Deficiency: How Flaks, Quacks and Hacks Pimp The Public Health (Prometheus).

More articles by:

2016 Fund Drive
Smart. Fierce. Uncompromised. Support CounterPunch Now!

  • cp-store
  • donate paypal

CounterPunch Magazine


October 27, 2016
Paul Street
An Identity-Politicized Election and World Series Lakefront Liberals Can Love
Matthew Stevenson
Sex and the Presidential City
Jim Kavanagh
Tom Hayden’s Haunting
CJ Hopkins
The Pathologization of Dissent
Mike Merryman-Lotze
The Inherent Violence of Israel’s Gaza Blockade
Robert Fisk
Is Yemen Too Much for the World to Take?
Shamus Cooke
Stopping Hillary’s Coming War on Syria
Jan Oberg
Security Politics and the Closing of the Open Society
Ramzy Baroud
The War on UNESCO: Al-Aqsa Mosque is Palestinian and East Jerusalem is Illegally Occupied
Colin Todhunter
Lower Yields and Agropoisons: What is the Point of GM Mustard in India?
Norman Pollack
The Election: Does It Matter Who Wins?
Nyla Ali Khan
The Political and Cultural Richness of Kashmiriyat
Barbara Nimri Aziz
“It’s Only a Car!”
October 26, 2016
John W. Whitehead
A Deep State of Mind: America’s Shadow Government and Its Silent Coup
Eric Draitser
Dear Liberals: Trump is Right
Anthony Tarrant
On the Unbearable Lightness of Whiteness
Mark Weisbrot
The Most Dangerous Place in the World: US Pours in Money, as Blood Flows in Honduras
Chris Welzenbach
The Establishment and the Chattering Hack: a Response to Nicholas Lemann
Luke O'Brien
The Churchill Thing: Some Big Words About Trump and Some Other Chap
Sabia Rigby
In the “Jungle:” Report from the Refugee Camp in Calais, France
Linn Washington Jr.
Pot Decriminalization Yields $9-million in Savings for Philadelphia
Pepe Escobar
“America has lost” in the Philippines
Pauline Murphy
Political Feminism: the Legacy of Victoria Woodhull
Lizzie Maldonado
The Burdens of World War III
David Swanson
Slavery Was Abolished
Thomas Mountain
Preventing Cultural Genocide with the Mother Tongue Policy in Eritrea
Colin Todhunter
Agrochemicals And The Cesspool Of Corruption: Dr. Mason Writes To The US EPA
October 25, 2016
David Swanson
Halloween Is Coming, Vladimir Putin Isn’t
Hiroyuki Hamada
Fear Laundering: an Elaborate Psychological Diversion and Bid for Power
Priti Gulati Cox
President Obama: Before the Empire Falls, Free Leonard Peltier and Mumia Abu-Jamal
Kathy Deacon
Plus ça Change: Regime Change 1917-1920
Robin Goodman
Appetite for Destruction: America’s War Against Itself
Richard Moser
On Power, Privilege, and Passage: a Letter to My Nephew
Rev. William Alberts
The Epicenter of the Moral Universe is Our Common Humanity, Not Religion
Dan Bacher
Inspector General says Reclamation Wasted $32.2 Million on Klamath irrigators
David Mattson
A Recipe for Killing: the “Trust Us” Argument of State Grizzly Bear Managers
Derek Royden
The Tragedy in Yemen
Ralph Nader
Breaking Through Power: It’s Easier Than We Think
Norman Pollack
Centrist Fascism: Lurching Forward
Guillermo R. Gil
Cell to Cell Communication: On How to Become Governor of Puerto Rico
Mateo Pimentel
You, Me, and the Trolley Make Three
Cathy Breen
“Today Is One of the Heaviest Days of My Life”
October 24, 2016
John Steppling
The Unwoke: Sleepwalking into the Nightmare
Oscar Ortega
Clinton’s Troubling Silence on the Dakota Access Pipeline
Patrick Cockburn
Aleppo vs. Mosul: Media Biases