According to my fan mail, it appears Sean Hannity criticized my CounterPunch essay on the Blacksburg massacre and his listeners somehow got my e-mail address. I have long wondered who Hannity’s fans are, and at last I had the chance to find out. More than 150 emails arrived, most of which only cursed me or suggested I depart the country, preferably feet first. Others, though, suggested various tortures, including taking me apart with a pliers; and a few took the trouble to prescribe harsher punishments should I cross their path. One of the typical, albeit more profound letters, which I quote in its entirety, came from Ken Land of email@example.com, who said, “You are a piece of s—.”
Kenneth A. Ciullo, at firstname.lastname@example.org, wrote, “If I ever see you or hear you at a meeting, in public, at a private party, beware, I might be standing next to you, about to blow your f—ing twisted brains all over the wall.” (Other Hannity followers also explained why gun control won’t work.)
Some letters lifted my spirits. One from Noel Granite, at email@example.com, was cause to make me thank my lucky stars: “You are lucky I can’t get my hands on you. Call it a threat, report it, do whatever you want but if you ever cross my path you will never be able to write again.” (Noel, I am NOT reporting it. I like a guy who speaks his mind. Besides, the FBI must be so busy trying to find the perp of the 10/11 anthrax attacks on Congress, I don’t want to hand them another tough nut to crack.)
From firstname.lastname@example.org came advice to “open my carotid artery and suck on a barrel for being such a piece of s— low life that would write such a thing. Die filthy America hater. Just die.” (Please note: this is NOT a death threat, merely a suicide suggestion, so I am only forwarding it to the State of Oregon.) Not one to be left out, Jeff Slegaitis at email@example.com, wrote, “Just quit breathing! Lick the snotty-end of my f— -stick BITCH! (Note: as a believer in family values, I am not reprinting the f-word.)You live under the freedom provided by soldiers of past and present who served and DIED so you can write the S— you write! Respect that or GET THE F— OUT of our country.” Actually, Jeff, I learned to write contributing to the Lackland Air Force Base “Tailspinner” during my military service. If my prose is insipid, blame them!
A number of readers objected to the fact I said negative things about the compassionate gentleman in the White House. Jeff Geslison of Salt Lake City, Utah, Jgeslison@aol.com, put it bluntly: “WHAT THE F— IS WRONG WITH YOU? (Again, as a believer in family values, I am NOT spelling out the f-word.) How dare you attack President Bush as you did. You are one sick mother f—-r. You need to wake up and smell the coffee a– hole. I’ve got a serious problem with you and the s— you spew out of your mouth! Grow up ass f—! Get a life and quit harassing our President.” (Relax, Jeff, a president who won’t heed Jim Baker he won’t listen to me.)
Anyway, the above should provide a representative sampling of the mental apparatus of Hannity’s listeners and if that’s what Hannity’s advertisers want, as a believer in free enterprise, that’s okay with me.
One last word: Many of the writers mistakenly assumed that since I oppose the war in Iraq I am a liberal. As Michael Higgs of firstname.lastname@example.org, wrote: “Save Lives Spay and Neuter Your Liberal.” Nothing could be further from the truth, as my credentials reveal:
SHERWOOD ROSS is a long-time conservative who believes carotid-and-pliers in the Constitution of the United States of America. He has worked as a publicist for conservative magazines such as “The National Review” and for military publications such as “The Armed Forces Journal” and “Proceedings of The U.S. Naval Institute,” Annapolis. He has also written on the need for U.S. military defense in “World War II” magazine, and the “Navy News” of Norfolk. Reach him at email@example.com