10. "When Kmart Wine Just Won’t Do"

9. "I Can’t Believe It’s Not Wine"

8. "Show Your Friends How Little You Care"

7. "Kills Germs on Contact"

6. "Recommended by 4 Out of 5 Drifters!"

5. "Crack Open a Can Today!"

4. "Fresh From the Vineyards of Aisle 6"

3. "Here’s to Making Bail!"

2. "Feeling Down After Being Thrown Out by Britney?"

1. "Goes Great With a 20-Dollar Hooker"