FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Marley’s List for Santa in Wartime

by WILLIAM S. LIND

Back in my tadpole days, sometime in the Pleistocene, my fellows at Roehm Junior High (Frederick, not Ernst) enjoyed hanging the name of “Scrooge” around my neck. Whether or not they did so in response to my “Bah! Humbug” attitude toward Christmas (“Angels we have heard on high, telling us go out and buy”), I do not now recall. I do remember with perfect clarity my invariable reply: “Bah! Humbug” attitude toward Christmas (“Angels we have heard on high, telling us go out and buy”), I do not now recall. I do remember with perfect clarity my invariable reply: “Scrooge? Scrooge? How dare you call me Scrooge! Scrooge was a weakling. Scrooge gave in – to all that poppycock about Tiny Tim and Christmas goose for common clerks. I assure you, I am no Scrooge. I’m Marley.”

As I sat by my fireside the other evening, smoking my pipe, drinking a bottle of old Port and occasionally kicking the cat, I thought again about my exemplar, Jacob Marley. What would Marley have made of the colossal mess that Bush, Cheney & Co., have pulled us into? Then it came to me: Marley’s Christmas list! Out of the stony cockles of his hard old heart, Marley would have known what each and every dramatis personae deserved. I suspect Marley’s list for Santa might go something like this:

* For President George W. Bush, a slightly nicer hole than Saddam’s, to hide in once the American people figure out that he started two wars, and lost both.

* For Dick Cheney, a late night visit from the ghost of Colonel John Boyd, whose briefings Mr. Cheney heard and whose wisdom he totally ignored in whooping it up for war with Iraq. Also, at least one foreign policy advisor who is not a neo-con.

* For the neo-cons themselves, those wonderful people who believe in promoting democracy on the tips of American bayonets, Robespierre bobble-heads for one and all. Also, their children get drafted and sent to Iraq for the duration. * For secretary of State Powell, a small desk plaque that reads, “There is no position more difficult than that of minister to an idiot king.”

* For Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld, a portrait of Robert McNamara, to sit on his desk as a reminder that we’ve been down this road before (“Metrics, give me metrics, stout-hearted metrics…”).

* For Condi Rice, the title that goes with her duties: concierge.

* For Pompey, alias Mr. Wolfowitz, some clean underwear to replace that “lost” at the al Rashid hotel.

* For the U.S. Navy, complete irrelevance to future war, plus plans for the F-18Z to fill all those carrier deck spots in the year 2104.

* For the U.S. Air Force, status of “worse than useless” for future war, plus F-22s to shoot down Taliban flying carpets.

* For the U.S. Army, hope that the new chief may be the Army’s Al Gray.

* For the United State Marine Corps, the ultimate —- sandwich, in the form of orders back to Iraq in the spring. Also Arabic phrase books that start with, “We’re not like those other guys who just left.”

* For the U.S. Army generals in Iraq, British uniforms, circa 1776.

* For U.S. troops in Iraq, tickets home, with no return.

* For the people of Iraq, Operation Iraqi Freedom, which happens when the last “Coalition” soldier leaves.

* For the American People, President Hillary Clinton. This one has a note on it, in Marley’s own crabbed scrawl: This is actually from the neo-cons.

* And finally, for old Saddam himself, his very own reality TV show, in the form of a show trial running right through the American Presidential campaign and election, where he can talk about all kinds of interesting things like how the Bushes were so helpful when it came to using chemical weapons against Iran.

I thought that was the end of my old friend Marley’s list. But then I found something written on an envelope. “For all true conservatives who opposed this counterproductive war from the outset, the strategic advice of Tokugawa Ieyasu: ‘Wait.'”

WILLIAM S. LIND’s On War column appears weekly in CounterPunch.

 

WILLIAM S. LIND, expressing his own personal opinion, is Director for the Center for Cultural Conservatism for the Free Congress Foundation.

More articles by:
May 24, 2016
Sharmini Peries - Michael Hudson
The Financial Invasion of Greece
Jonathan Cook
Religious Zealots Ready for Takeover of Israeli Army
Ted Rall
Why I Am #NeverHillary
Mari Jo Buhle – Paul Buhle
Television Meets History
Robert Hunziker
Troika Heat-Seeking Missile Destroys Greece
Judy Gumbo
May Day Road Trip: 1968 – 20016
Colin Todhunter
Cheerleader for US Aggression, Pushing the World to the Nuclear Brink
Jeremy Brecher
This is What Insurgency Looks Like
Jonathan Latham
Unsafe at Any Dose: Chemical Safety Failures from DDT to Glyphosate to BPA
Binoy Kampmark
Suing Russia: Litigating over MH17
Dave Lindorff
Europe, the US and the Politics of Pissing and Being Pissed
Matt Peppe
Cashing In at the Race Track While Facing Charges of “Abusive” Lending Practices
Gilbert Mercier
If Bernie Sanders Is Real, He Will Run as an Independent
Peter Bohmer
A Year Later! The Struggle for Justice Continues!
Dave Welsh
Police Chief Fired in Victory for the Frisco 500
May 23, 2016
Conn Hallinan
European Union: a House Divided
Paul Buhle
Labor’s Sell-Out and the Sanders Campaign
Uri Avnery
Israeli Weimar: It Can Happen Here
John Stauber
Why Bernie was Busted From the Beginning
James Bovard
Obama’s Biggest Corruption Charade
Joseph Mangano – Janette D. Sherman
Indian Point Nuclear Plant: It Doesn’t Take a Meltdown to Harm Local Residents
Desiree Hellegers
“Energy Without Injury”: From Redwood Summer to Break Free via Occupy Wall Street
Lawrence Davidson
The Unraveling of Zionism?
Patrick Cockburn
Why Visa Waivers are Dangerous for Turks
Robert Koehler
Rethinking Criminal Justice
Lawrence Wittner
The Return of Democratic Socialism
Ha-Joon Chang
What Britain Forgot: Making Things Matters
John V. Walsh
Only Donald Trump Raises Five “Fundamental and Urgent” Foreign Policy Questions: Stephen F. Cohen Bemoans MSM’s Dismissal of Trump’s Queries
Andrew Stewart
The Occupation of the American Mind: a Film That Palestinians Deserve
Nyla Ali Khan
The Vulnerable Repositories of Honor in Kashmir
Weekend Edition
May 20, 2016
Friday - Sunday
Rob Urie
Hillary Clinton and Political Violence
Andrew Levine
Why Not Hillary?
Paul Street
Hillary Clinton’s Neocon Resumé
Chris Floyd
Twilight of the Grifter: Bill Clinton’s Fading Powers
Eric Mann
How We Got the Tanks and M-16s Out of LA Schools
Jason Hirthler
The West’s Needless Aggression
Dan Arel
Why Hillary Clinton’s Camp Should Be Scared
Robert Hunziker
Fukushima Flunks Decontamination
David Rosen
The Privatization of the Public Sphere
Margaret Kimberley
Obama’s Civil Rights Hypocrisy
Chris Gilbert
Corruption in Latin American Governments
Pete Dolack
We Can Dream, or We Can Organize
Dan Kovalik
Colombia: the Displaced & Invisible Nation
Jeffrey St. Clair
Fat Man Earrings: a Nuclear Parable
Medea Benjamin
Israel and Saudi Arabia: Strange Bedfellows in the New Middle East
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail