FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Pilgrimage or Demolition Derby?

by WALLACE GAGNE

We’re rolling. Can’t stop. Flattened Iraq. Sights on Syria. Weapons of mass destruction. Almost certain. We won’t stop. Probably hiding terrorists. Shouldn’t stop. It’s George’s show. It’s Rummy’s show. We don’t want to stop.

Eyeing Iran. Going nuclear. Unhelpful. We can’t be stopped. Watching Lebanon. The Saudis. Egypt. We’re on a mission. Who’s next. Who’s not next.

Who’ll stop the rain. Who’ll put out the cat. It’s your turn. Isn’t. Is. Isn’t.

Don’t miss the excitement.

It’s Saddam’s half brother. Saddam’s son-in-law. His half-son-in-law.

Eating a Quarter Pounder. That’s George’s Quarter Pounder. George’s half brother.

Neil Bush. Neil Bush is Saddam’s half brother. Saddam’s half-son-in-law is eating George’s Quarter Pounder. But first. There’s Ahmad Chalabi’s.

Here’s General Garner. He’s riding a carpet, driving a Humvee, humping a camel.

It’s the New Iraq. Everybody’s filthy rich, overweight, great in bed. Everybody’s got their own power tools, their own motor home, hair style, retirement plan.

Everybody’s using ab crunchers, sitting in massage chairs, campaigning for president. We’ve got heat. We’ve got cold. We’ve got hot and cold running water.

No power. Power’s still off. We’re pumped. Pumping oil. Pumping to Playboy.

Here come our POWs. Flags and Texas. In excellent health. Coulda bin tortured.

In excellent spirits. Coulda bin brainwashed. Heroes. Took wrong turn. Coulda bin stoned. Ask Doctor Floyd. Ask Pink Floyd. Ask Christopher Hitchens.

You’re on the air. Hitchen’s bitchin. Lashing Liberals. Mr.Wet Noddle.

Please master. Ten more strokes. Let’s celebrate. Ba1ath Party’s washed up.

The Carwash Party. Here come the Christian Right. They’re knocking on doors. Dissing Allah. Phoning during supper. Praise the Lord. Praise America.

Saddam’s in Syria. Hitler’s in Syria. That proves it. An ancient civilization.

Moved my cheese. It’s 4:10 AM. There is no God. Over to Christiane. She’s in a downpour. That’s not her name. Is so. Her name’s Armanpour. That’s what I said.

Did not. Did so. I smell success. I smell gas. I smell something fishy.

It’s Hal Hussein. Hussein Kamel. Kahlid Abdullah. Abdullah Kahlidi. He’s doing a great job. He’s a crook. He’s brilliant. A fool. Statesman. Liar. It’s a pilgrimage. A riot. Crusade. Gay Pride Parade. A demolition derby. Here’s Maria.

Over to Tyler. It’s good news. It’s bad news. A whirlpool. A cesspool. Next on the list. Is no list. Is so. Is not. Everything’s possible.

Stay Informed.

WALLACE GAGNE lives in Tokyo. He can be reached at: w-s-gagne@nifty.com

 

More articles by:
May 25, 2016
Eric Draitser
Obama in Hiroshima: A Case Study in Hypocrisy
Ryan Mallett-Outtrim
Does Venezuela’s Crisis Prove Socialism Doesn’t Work?
Dan Arel
The Socialist Revolution Beyond Sanders and the Democratic Party
Marc Estrin
Cocky-Doody Politics and World Affairs
Sam Husseini
Layers of Islamophobia: Do Liberals Care That Hillary Returned “Muslim Money”?
Susan Babbitt
Invisible in Life, Invisible in Death: How Information Becomes Useless
Mel Gurtov
Hillary’s Cowgirl Diplomacy?
Kathy Kelly
Hammering for Peace
Dick Reavis
The Impeachment of Donald Trump
Wahid Azal
Behind the Politics of a Current Brouhaha in Iran: an Ex-President Ayatollah’s Daughter and the Baha’is
Jesse Jackson
Obama Must Recommit to Eliminating Nuclear Arms
Colin Todhunter
From the Green Revolution to GMOs: Living in the Shadow of Global Agribusiness
Binoy Kampmark
Turkey as Terror: the Role of Ankara in the Brexit Referendum
Dave Lindorff
72-Year-Old Fringe Left Candidate Wins Presidency in Austrian Run-Off Election
May 24, 2016
Sharmini Peries - Michael Hudson
The Financial Invasion of Greece
Jonathan Cook
Religious Zealots Ready for Takeover of Israeli Army
Ted Rall
Why I Am #NeverHillary
Mari Jo Buhle – Paul Buhle
Television Meets History
Robert Hunziker
Troika Heat-Seeking Missile Destroys Greece
Judy Gumbo
May Day Road Trip: 1968 – 2016
Colin Todhunter
Cheerleader for US Aggression, Pushing the World to the Nuclear Brink
Jeremy Brecher
This is What Insurgency Looks Like
Jonathan Latham
Unsafe at Any Dose: Chemical Safety Failures from DDT to Glyphosate to BPA
Binoy Kampmark
Suing Russia: Litigating over MH17
Dave Lindorff
Europe, the US and the Politics of Pissing and Being Pissed
Matt Peppe
Cashing In at the Race Track While Facing Charges of “Abusive” Lending Practices
Gilbert Mercier
If Bernie Sanders Is Real, He Will Run as an Independent
Peter Bohmer
A Year Later! The Struggle for Justice Continues!
Dave Welsh
Police Chief Fired in Victory for the Frisco 500
May 23, 2016
Conn Hallinan
European Union: a House Divided
Paul Buhle
Labor’s Sell-Out and the Sanders Campaign
Uri Avnery
Israeli Weimar: It Can Happen Here
John Stauber
Why Bernie was Busted From the Beginning
James Bovard
Obama’s Biggest Corruption Charade
Joseph Mangano – Janette D. Sherman
Indian Point Nuclear Plant: It Doesn’t Take a Meltdown to Harm Local Residents
Desiree Hellegers
“Energy Without Injury”: From Redwood Summer to Break Free via Occupy Wall Street
Lawrence Davidson
The Unraveling of Zionism?
Patrick Cockburn
Why Visa Waivers are Dangerous for Turks
Robert Koehler
Rethinking Criminal Justice
Lawrence Wittner
The Return of Democratic Socialism
Ha-Joon Chang
What Britain Forgot: Making Things Matters
John V. Walsh
Only Donald Trump Raises Five “Fundamental and Urgent” Foreign Policy Questions: Stephen F. Cohen Bemoans MSM’s Dismissal of Trump’s Queries
Andrew Stewart
The Occupation of the American Mind: a Film That Palestinians Deserve
Nyla Ali Khan
The Vulnerable Repositories of Honor in Kashmir
Weekend Edition
May 20, 2016
Friday - Sunday
Rob Urie
Hillary Clinton and Political Violence
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail