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A Letter to Christopher Hitchens


Hitchens, you fucking fat-assed drunken slut.

You lying sack of shit.

Sir, have you no sense of personal integrity whatsoever?

Mother Theresa might have been in the “Missionary Position,” but you are taking it every which way from people who make poor old Charles Keating look like Kris Kringle.

But I digress–already.

I just read your latest, self-serving Orwellian rewriting and distortion of recent history published in last Sunday’s Washington Post, “So Long, Fellow Travelers.”

First observation: It appears to be modeled on David Horowitz’s and Peter Collier’s treacherous, “Lefties for Reagan,” published in the early 80s on those same pages. And for good reason.

Like those two self-serving jackals you aren’t promoting a future war on Iraq–and the Left– for any real principle other than personal gain.

Like Horowitz and Collier you are using the Left–and even more pathetically–the people of Iraq to justify the selling of your most pitiable soul.

Your dishonest posturing here is not only contrary to the spirit of the Orwell of your alcohol tinged imagination, its an abomination worthy of Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden.

But let’s get to the nub of the issue fat boy. Like another windy fat ass, Al Franken’s Rush Limbaugh, you are a big fat liar.

After 20 years as a columnist for The Nation, rather than thank the readers who have read and supported you over the years, you made the most graceless exit from an uncomfortable scene since Adolph and Eva.

Rather than say a few words about your tenure at The Nation, in one short paragraph you all but pulled your pants down, stuck your fat ass in the face of your many readers and said: “I’m out of here.”

Adding insult to injury you claimed you were leaving because you had just discovered that the editors of “The Nation” were taking sides in the Iraq debate. Are you nuts? Do you for one minute think anyone believed such tripe?

Perhaps you think your readers also wake up swigging Johnny Walker? What a joke. What an insult to your reader’s intelligence. Were you serious? Or just drunk again?

But I digress. Let us return to your silly, sorry posturing on Iraq and the Left in the Sunday Washington post. Boy, you must have been sloshed when you wrote this. I mean this is pink elephant shit.

Linking all the Left with the Workers World Party was a piece of sly, red-baiting propaganda worthy of Orwell’s worst nightmare.

What a foul act you are. “A right wing porker,” indeed Alex.

Your lowest moment, however, was when you solemenly declared at the end of this abominable paean to your fat-assed self– that once Iraq was liberated you would go to Baghdad to apologize to old “comrades” for the actions of the Left.

Tsk, tsk. I mean didn’t it occur to you there was a paper trail indicting you in the Lefts thought crime?

Hitch, you lying slut. Are you going to apologize as well to your newly freed Iraqi “comrades” for opposing Bush Sr’s war on Iraq in Gulf War 1?

Did you think for that matter that your old comrades here forgot your many writings against that war?

Do you recall chiding Bush Sr for turning a “regional war” into a “global war?”

Did you think we forgot your infamous pasting of poor befuddled(now we know why)Charleton Heston on CNN?

To summarize.

Hitchens: You are a Big Fat Liar and a Right Wing Porker.

And a fat assed fucking bore who deserves a good ass kicking.

Contrarily Yours

JACK McCARTHY Tallahassee, Florida

McCarthy can be reached at:


Jack McCarthy is a writer in Tallahassee, Florida. He can be reached at

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