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by Jerre Skog

The USA has declared its wish and lately its intention of replacing the regime of Iraq with more cooperative and docile leaders. The Iraqi people may well want to see the back of Saddam Hussein, who wasn’t their choice to begin with but whose Baath-party came to power thanks to “help” from CIA after moderate leader Kassem was ousted. However, most Iraqis would prefer to chose their leaders themselves and also have a strong aversion against being slaughtered in the course of regime change. With a bit of luck Saddam will suffer from a stroke before the attack and allow a cooperative dictator to take over, thereby saving at least 10.000 lives. If not, better send him a copy of “The wit and wisdom” by George W. Bush. Those two pages should at least put him, laughing hysterically, in a padded palace out of circulation! Enough level-headed persons have given excellent reasons for NOT launching an attack on Iraq to convince any normal leader, so Bush Jr will naturally go ahead. So, since he is not the one to put his own precious hide at risk, we can expect him to start his regime-change crusade with Iraq. Operation “Selfrighteous Warrior” or “Infinite Deception”, here we go!

Next in line for regime-change is Palestine whose elected chairman Arafat has the nerve to want a free and sovereign nation without Israeli gunships and tanks all over the place. A refusenik, obviously, who doesn’t understand that Israel has to have some targets to practice on, with all those new killer machines from US. An arrogance that means his days are numbered. Bush Jr is indignant and the world waits with bated breath for what measures are to be taken to correct the democratic correctness of electing him.

Those fellows taken care of, Iran’s leaders are in for some treatment. Never mind the fact that Iran’s moderate president Mohammed Khatami got 78,3% of the votes in fair elections attended by nearly 70% of the people, (a feat that puts the latest American president in his proper clowny perspective). Bush Jr has so far not declared his intentions to visit Iran with his B52s unless they kick out the legal president, but maybe the Iranians know what’s good for them. They have seen it all before when elected Mossadeq was killed and replaced with the Shah. Bush Jr has divulged his wishes. Isn’t that enough?

North Korea has been notified of the American displeasure with their leader. Since the people are too starved to do much about the regime and the leaders prefer to stay in power, it’s a clear case of a country that needs help. The people would prefer it in the form of some food. US may send the B52s, since there seems to be an unlimited supply of those “democracy-enforcers”. Besides, US forces are, since Vietnam, well aware that gooks are expendable.

Bush Jr has not, so far, openly published his wishes for further regime-changes in the world, but several independent observers are convinced that sooner or later Hugo Chavez will have to go. The practice run some months ago proved that it will be fairly easy, provided CIA can get their act together. And Venezuela has OIL! China too needs more cooperative people at the top, (preferrably white and christian), and if CIA can tell one Chinese face from another we ought not to be surprised if we learn that the party’s 12 leading members strangely enough were killed by hit and run lorries the same day. So far there has been no indications of displeasure by the Europeans’ behaviour and if they go on being obedient there’s no reason to correct them. Independent Kingdom of Mosebacke, situated in the middle of Stockholm, Sweden and declared by students in the 70s, might be at risk if CIA can find it, though.

When Sweden’s PM Olof Palme sharply critizised US after the terrorbombings of Hanoi, using the words “satan’s murderers” and comparing the bombings with Lidice and Treblinka and the US ambassador got pelted with rotten eggs in Stockholm, many Swedes almost expected the US Navy to come charging over the Atlantic, to replace our PM. When Palme was assassinated and killed in ’86 many actually believed that CIA was behind it. Well, the killer is still not found, so anything’s possible. The present prime minister is VERY obedient so he can stay, we guess!?

The US method of getting rid of elected but unwanted persons have varied. From sending in the marines to manipulating, bribing, blackmailing, threatening or putting pressure in the form of a bullet through the head of the crazy fellow who thought he could try do something good for the common people in his land, are the most common. The replacements have already from the beginning a good idea of where the limitations go before upsetting the self-declared sheriff. Mobutu’s replacement Kabila Sr didn’t quite get it, making Mrs Albright very upset, and was promptly assassinated. Maybe Kabila Jr will know better.

If I may end on a more serious note in the treatment of the subject and leave the satire and sarcasm behind. Not easy to do as the role of selfproclaimed guardian, who claims, or more correctly demands, to know what is right for the world, is one that fits USA so badly that it is very difficult to take it seriously. Something like Adolf Eichmann lecturing on the sanctity of all life or Ariel Sharon explaining his love for Palestinians. The idea of a president like Bush Jr (in office after being elected by 24% of the people and manipulating his way to power with help of of his Gov brother and the Supreme Court) insisting that certain countries have to replace their governments or he will do it for them, is so utterly absurd that it’s difficult to know whether to laugh or cry. One can, to make it even funnier, note that the arguments that Georgie-boy uses to motivate his war on Iraq, “He refuses to cooperate with the U.N. / the World”, probably applies better to Bush Jr himself! Earlier presidents had at least themselves some legitimacy, when they changed regimes all over, even if the eventual results almost always were disastrous for the country meddled with.

The uncannily infallible consistency by CIA and American leaders in replacing, often elected, leaders with the worst possible new ones is impressing, but not very encouraging for the world. In most cases USA’s chosen favorites have caused suffering and deprivation to an extent that they might have been chosen for this capacity. USA’s “Our kind of Guy”s have either a record of robbing and destroying their countries while taking scores of human lives or a strong tendency to cause other countries grief. In some cases they have turned and bitten the hand that fed them, as we could witness on Sept 11th last year.

Just look at this list of notable “Our kind of Guy”s installed, armed, funded or supported by US in the last 50 years:

Mobutu Sese Seko, the 32 year long robber and murderer of Zaire. General Suharto, the corrupt killer of some hundred thousand Indonesians. the Shah, Iran’s dictator and favourite US weapons buyer. General Pinochet, responsible for torture, killings and disapperances in Chile. Somoza, Nicaraguan dictator. “He’s a SoB but he’s our SoB”, according to US. Marcos, Philippine’s big extortionist. Saddam Hussein, perfect “our kind of guy” for many years. Pol Pot, even he had some help from US when he turned against the Vietnamese. General Noriega, criminal, CIA-lapdog and US stooge until he got too embarrassing. and, to make the list far from complete but even more revealing: Usama bin Laden and the Talibans! Killers and fanatics who turned on the master.

Any country with that kind of record ought to speak awfully quiet about the need for regime change, or better, shut up until effecting it at home!

Hamid Karzai, the friendly oil consultant who recently was installed in Afghanistan, still has to declare himself to the world. Not so much by his words, but his future deeds. After recieving a lot of military hardware and personal protection, compliments Pentagon and US Army, he might still be obedient. Or he might turn nasty. Looking in the rearview mirror and on some of his government friends’ past bloody record, we better not be too optimistic!

No doubt Saddam deserves to get kicked out. He is a brutal dictator, addicted to his own power, and Iraq deserves a better leader. I wouldn’t shed many tears if he was disposed of, but the Iraqi people has for enough years been terrified and violated by wars, sanctions and repeated illegal US/UK bombings. If mr Hussein goes to Bermuda for holiday, by all means get him, but for the sake of the god that USA’s leaders pretend to believe in, leave the people in peace!

Stop messing with other nations’ choice of leaders Georgie boy! Without your help they have an even chance of getting it right. With it, absolutely none whatsoever! (Just look at US!!)

And please! Please!! PLEASE!!! Don’t give us any more of “Your Kind of Guy”s!

Jerre Skog is a Swedish writer, musician and alternative observer living in Germany since 1999. More articles, political and satirical can be found on: Jerre?s Thinktank

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