FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Everyone Says I Loathe You

by David Vest

I should have know better than to answer the phone this late on a Friday afternoon. It was my old friend and nemesis, Leon Despair, and he was as usual in no mood to be put on hold or to answer questions about how he got my new number. I get these calls from Leon once or twice a year and I know better than to hang up on him or tell him I’m busy. That will only bring him straight to my door.

He began by inquiring about my health: “Are you out of your mind? What’s come over you?”

I beg your pardon?

“Did you write this column in CounterPunch? It has your name on it.”

Which column would that be?

“This one. Ten Things You Know About Bush.”

Oh. That one.

“Ten things my foot! You don’t know one thing.”

What makes you say that? (What makes ME say THAT?)

And he’s off to the races. “Listen to this crap. ‘We like him,’ it says. What the hell does that mean? Who’s we?”

According to the polls, about 80% of the people like him. Haven’t you heard them talking on TV about how the guy has bonded with America?

“You sound like a damn dope addict. Somebody says something on TV and you go Oh, Wow! and start looking for a pencil. Is that how journalism works?”

Now wait a minute . . .

“You didn’t ask me if I like him. Go ahead, ask me. Here’s the answer — I don’t. Furthermore, I don’t know anybody that likes him. And neither do you.”

Uh, well, not exactly.

“Well, if I don’t know anybody that likes him, and you don’t know anybody that likes him, then who the hell DOES like him?”

Listen, Leon, nobody WE know likes him, but apparently everybody else does, ok?

“Nobody likes him. Name one person who likes him.”

Al Gore says George W. Bush is his commander-in-chief …

“That is so lame. Admit it: nobody likes him. Say it.”

Maybe nobody in particular likes him, but we as a people, in the aggregate, like him. Read the polls…

“Shut up when you’re talking to me, ok? Don’t make me come over there. In the State of the Union, did you hear him say LET’S MAKE THESE TAX CUTS PERMANENT?”

Yes.

“That meant, LET’S GIVE ANOTHER $254 MILLION TO ENRON. You know anybody who likes that idea?”

Not offhand.

“You think Ken Lay even likes him? You think Cheney likes him? You think Colin Powell likes him?”

Condoleeza Rice seems to like him …

“Let me remind you of 10 Things You DON’T Know about Bush, ok? You don’t know how much cocaine he did.”

I don’t know for a fact that he…

“You don’t know when was the last time he did it. You don’t know where he did it. You don’t know who he got it from. You don’t know who he did it with. You don’t know where he was when he was supposed to report for duty in Alabama, and his commanding officer says he never saw him.”

This is old stuff…

“You don’t know whether he ever did any of his roistering with Enron people. You don’t know what he knew about the Taliban leadership being in Sugar Land, Texas in 1997, while he was governor. Did he meet with them?”

I’ve raised that in my columns …

“And who’s behind all this fainting? Everytime you turn around, another one passes out.”

Leon, this is getting …

“Just remember one thing. Nobody liked him in Texas, either. And he defeated Ann Richards. And then even fewer people liked him and he won re-election in a landslide. So who do think the Democrats will put up against him in 2004?”

I don’t know. Probably Gore?

“No way. Nobody likes him.”

The line was dead. Leon was gone again. Not even a “till next time.” He’s that way.

David Vest is a regular writer for CounterPunch, a poet and piano-player for the Pacific Northwest’s hottest blues band, The Cannonballs.

He can be reached at: davidvest@springmail.com

Visit his website at http://www.mindspring.com/~dcqv

DAVID VEST writes the Rebel Angel column for CounterPunch. He and his band, The Willing Victims, have just released a scorching new CD, Serve Me Right to Shuffle. His essay on Tammy Wynette is featured in CounterPunch’s new collection on art, music and sex, Serpents in the Garden.

More articles by:

CounterPunch Magazine

minimag-edit

bernie-the-sandernistas-cover-344x550

zen economics

January 24, 2017
Anthony DiMaggio
Reflections on DC: Promises and Pitfalls in the Anti-Trump Uprising
Sharmini Peries - Michael Hudson
Developer Welfare: Trump’s Infrastructure Plan
Melvin Goodman
Trump at the CIA: the Orwellian World of Alternative Facts
Sam Mitrani – Chad Pearson
A Short History of Liberal Myths and Anti-Labor Politics
Kristine Mattis
Democracy is Not a Team Sport
Andrew Smolski
Third Coast Pillory: Mexico, Neo-Nationalism and the Capitalist World-System
Ted Rall
The Women’s March Was a Dismal Failure and a Hopeful Sign
Norman Pollack
Woman’s March: Halt at the Water’s Edge
Pepe Escobar
Will Trump Hop on an American Silk Road?
Franklin Lamb
Trump’s “Syria “Minus Iran” Overture to Putin and Assad May Restore Washington-Damascus Relations
Kenneth R. Culton
Violence By Any Other Name
David Swanson
Why Impeach Donald Trump
Christopher Brauchli
Trump’s Contempt
January 23, 2017
John Wight
Trump’s Inauguration: Hail Caesar!
Mark Schuller
So What am I Doing Here? Reflections on the Inauguration Day Protests
Patrick Cockburn
The Rise of Trump and Isis Have More in Common Than You Might Think
Binoy Kampmark
Ignored Ironies: Women, Protest and Donald Trump
Gregory Barrett
Flag, Cap and Screen: Hollywood’s Propaganda Machine
Gareth Porter
US Intervention in Syria? Not Under Trump
L. Ali Khan
Trump’s Holy War against Islam
Gary Leupp
An Al-Qaeda Attack in Mali:  Just Another Ripple of the Endless, Bogus “War on Terror”
Norman Pollack
America: Banana Republic? Far Worse
Bob Fitrakis - Harvey Wasserman
We Mourn, But We March!
Kim Nicolini
Trump Dump: One Woman March and Personal Shit as Political
William Hawes
We Are on Our Own Now
Martin Billheimer
Last Tango in Moscow
Colin Todhunter
Development and India: Why GM Mustard Really Matters
Mel Gurtov
Trump’s America—and Ours
David Mattson
Fog of Science II: Apples, Oranges and Grizzly Bear Numbers
Clancy Sigal
Who’s Up for This Long War?
Weekend Edition
January 20, 2017
Friday - Sunday
Paul Street
Divide and Rule: Class, Hate, and the 2016 Election
Andrew Levine
When Was America Great?
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: This Ain’t a Dream No More, It’s the Real Thing
Yoav Litvin
Making Israel Greater Again: Justice for Palestinians in the Age of Trump
Linda Pentz Gunter
Nuclear Fiddling While the Planet Burns
Ruth Fowler
Standing With Standing Rock: Of Pipelines and Protests
David Green
Why Trump Won: the 50 Percenters Have Spoken
Dave Lindorff
Imagining a Sanders Presidency Beginning on Jan. 20
Pete Dolack
Eight People Own as Much as Half the World
Roger Harris
Too Many People in the World: Names Named
Steve Horn
Under Tillerson, Exxon Maintained Ties with Saudi Arabia, Despite Dismal Human Rights Record
John Berger
The Nature of Mass Demonstrations
Stephen Zielinski
It’s the End of the World as We Know It
David Swanson
Six Things We Should Do Better As Everything Gets Worse
Alci Rengifo
Trump Rex: Ancient Rome’s Shadow Over the Oval Office
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail